If you are a teacher, someone who works with kids, or someone who works with human beings in general, you know there are those students who are difficult to work with. It is a matter of life.
The important thing is that we work with them.
Don't give up on them.
And whatever you do, don't stop looking at and for the good in them.
Because when you see that goodness it can brighten your day tremendously.
I've had rough days with my students. I really have, but they are MY students and WE work together.
So teachers have rewards systems right? Right.
Well one of my many rewards systems is item based, the students get items in return for good behavior...the length of the good behavior determines the size of the prize.
I saw a broken half of one of those prizes being used by another student: one not on this particular rewards system...My kind and loving self immediately assumed the student had shared their prize...but I asked to be sure...
Well I had a short conversation with my student about the prize and of course they denied sharing (because let's be honest sharing just isn't "cool"). They asked why I wanted to know. My response what that if they had shared it would be a very nice thing and that would be very cool of them.
So we moved on with our lesson as usual...and a few minutes later...quietly and quickly my student said that they shared it.
I WAS SO EXCITED...but of course I tried really hard not to show it...too much excitement just isn't cool...and I praised this student for doing such a good thing...
That moment reminded me that underneath the "too cool" exterior lies a sweet little kid trying to find their way in the world: a vulnerable human being who needs to be loved.
It is so important not to focus too much on the poor behavior of the students. I know this is a struggle, I know it is difficult, but it is so, so, so, so, important for our children. These moments are our opportunities to show the students how much we care about them. It is our opportunity to give our students some praise: to let them hear the words "good job" ABOUT SOMETHING THAT THEY DID.
It gives them something to be proud of...even if they keep it a secret...
Friday, November 7, 2014
Monday, October 13, 2014
Pray the hardest...
...when it is hardest to pray
I take no credit for that phrase, I have no idea where it came from, and I'm sure we all know it.
I was thinking about this today...and all of the pictures that I usually see with this phrase are of a time of trial, or of something difficult, or of someone crying.
I thought some more...I typically associated this phrase with make sure you pray when you are going through something difficult. Almost as if it was a rule...something is tough: time to pray.
And then I thought...
But it isn't difficult for me to pray when something is wrong.
That is when I do most of my praying actually.
Remember that prayer is a conversation.
It is easy for me to pray when a loved one is sick, it is easy for me to remember to pray when I am sad, it is easy for me to turn to God when I am hurt or lonely. It is not difficult for me to say "What the heck God? I mean I know you have a plan but what does this have to do with it?" -great prayer right? I know...but it is a conversation with God...
Oh I talk to God all the time when I need help.
...it is when things are going well that I forget to talk to God
That is right...it is hardest for me to pray when everything is right with the world and I couldn't be happier.
Things are going well, I'm happy, I can pay my bills, I have no issues...I forget to pray...I don't have any questions for God, I don't think (think being the key word there) I need any guidance from God, I think I've got it all straight for a little while....and I don't talk to God about that.
I don't say "Hey God, you know what? This month I paid all of my bills on time, thanks for your help on that" or "Hey God, these new friends I've got are pretty great" or "Wow God, you're an amazing artist that sunset today was just perfect"
Then something happens to make my world fall apart and I go running back to God...God make it better...fix this boo boo...help me out...
and because God is so loving he welcomes me back into his arms and makes it better...
...There is not a person on this earth (to my knowledge anyway) who would truly do that...what kind of friend would stick around when they only see you when you're in trouble? what kind of relative would wipe away your tears time and time again without ever seeing your smile? ...There is no one I know of who is as accepting of our broken selves as God is....
...but I know I at least need to be a better friend to God...I need to remember that when I am happy I should tell God about it...just a simple...Hey God this really cool thing happened to me today and I had a pretty good day, I know where I'm at right now is somehow worked into you're plan for me and I'm excited to see where that goes.
So maybe for me the phrase shouldn't be coupled with pictures of strangers crying or symbols meant to represent a hard time...maybe the phrase still applies to me, but in the opposite of the way most people take it...how does it apply to you?
I take no credit for that phrase, I have no idea where it came from, and I'm sure we all know it.
I was thinking about this today...and all of the pictures that I usually see with this phrase are of a time of trial, or of something difficult, or of someone crying.
I thought some more...I typically associated this phrase with make sure you pray when you are going through something difficult. Almost as if it was a rule...something is tough: time to pray.
And then I thought...
But it isn't difficult for me to pray when something is wrong.
That is when I do most of my praying actually.
Remember that prayer is a conversation.
It is easy for me to pray when a loved one is sick, it is easy for me to remember to pray when I am sad, it is easy for me to turn to God when I am hurt or lonely. It is not difficult for me to say "What the heck God? I mean I know you have a plan but what does this have to do with it?" -great prayer right? I know...but it is a conversation with God...
Oh I talk to God all the time when I need help.
...it is when things are going well that I forget to talk to God
That is right...it is hardest for me to pray when everything is right with the world and I couldn't be happier.
Things are going well, I'm happy, I can pay my bills, I have no issues...I forget to pray...I don't have any questions for God, I don't think (think being the key word there) I need any guidance from God, I think I've got it all straight for a little while....and I don't talk to God about that.
I don't say "Hey God, you know what? This month I paid all of my bills on time, thanks for your help on that" or "Hey God, these new friends I've got are pretty great" or "Wow God, you're an amazing artist that sunset today was just perfect"
Then something happens to make my world fall apart and I go running back to God...God make it better...fix this boo boo...help me out...
and because God is so loving he welcomes me back into his arms and makes it better...
...There is not a person on this earth (to my knowledge anyway) who would truly do that...what kind of friend would stick around when they only see you when you're in trouble? what kind of relative would wipe away your tears time and time again without ever seeing your smile? ...There is no one I know of who is as accepting of our broken selves as God is....
...but I know I at least need to be a better friend to God...I need to remember that when I am happy I should tell God about it...just a simple...Hey God this really cool thing happened to me today and I had a pretty good day, I know where I'm at right now is somehow worked into you're plan for me and I'm excited to see where that goes.
So maybe for me the phrase shouldn't be coupled with pictures of strangers crying or symbols meant to represent a hard time...maybe the phrase still applies to me, but in the opposite of the way most people take it...how does it apply to you?
Thursday, July 24, 2014
The Part-Time Problem
I've been saying I was going to write this post for a while...and my brain is just done with teacher things for the moment so here it goes...
When I say I was going to write this a while ago...I mean I was going to write this before I had a full time job...because I was experiencing the part-time problem...
You get out of college...YAY I GRADUATED....you think...NOW I'M GOING TO GET A REAL JOB AND MOVE OUT OF MY MOM'S HOUSE AND BUY A CAR AND BUY MY OWN GROCERIES AND DECLARE MYSELF INDEPENDENT ON MY TAXES...and many more wonderful thoughts...
But the job market stinks
And you don't have enough money to move all of your belongings
or buy the car needed to move your belongings
so you move back in with mom...
there is no shame in this. You are not a failure because you have to move back in with mom...but you do need to be doing something with your life...
so you continue to apply for jobs and look for jobs and find something that relates moderately to your degree...COME ON THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING...but there really isn't...
so you go part time...those loans will need to be repaid eventually...and that phone bill needs to be paid now...sooo you start filling out part time applications...until one day it happens
you get an interview...
you are so overqualified for the job and yet (for some strange reason) still willing to work for minimum wage...that you get hired right then and there...YAY YOU'RE EMPLOYED...part time...at minimum wage...doing something a high schooler could do...
but you are grateful for this job...its just for now...right? ya, just for now.
You go to work.
You hate it.
You come home.
You research jobs that actually relate to your degree...
you get discouraged
Eventually you just stop looking for jobs...I've got this for now...just for now...and in the spring when the rest of the world graduates and people are actually looking for new grads I'll look for a job again...
you've become comfortable in the part time world...sure you hate your job, but you've convinced yourself that it is only temporary...even though every minute it feels more and more permanent...you feel more and more trapped...but it is ok...because you've got a degree...right? I mean, you'll get out of this somehow...
This is the problem...becoming comfortable...giving up...working part time...YOU HAVE A DEGREE...If you couldn't tell all of the you's ...refer to me...I did those things...I HAVE A DEGREE...and it was really dang hard to do anything with it...
It is discouraging to look for a job and that is a huge part of the problem...
People just get stuck...they feel like there is no way out so they do something they hate just to make not enough money to pay off the large sums of debt they've accrued during college...
do I have an answer? Nope definitely not...I cannot change the job market...nor do I have any money to give you to get you started...all I can say is this...
DON'T GIVE UP
I know it stinks to be turned down...but eventually you'll find a job...yup starting off is hard...you'll be pretty poor...I mean, I'm planning on eating Ramen for the rest of my life at this point...but it can be done...just keep looking...keep working...but keep looking...don't be comfortable...part time is not where you belong...keep trying...
When I say I was going to write this a while ago...I mean I was going to write this before I had a full time job...because I was experiencing the part-time problem...
You get out of college...YAY I GRADUATED....you think...NOW I'M GOING TO GET A REAL JOB AND MOVE OUT OF MY MOM'S HOUSE AND BUY A CAR AND BUY MY OWN GROCERIES AND DECLARE MYSELF INDEPENDENT ON MY TAXES...and many more wonderful thoughts...
But the job market stinks
And you don't have enough money to move all of your belongings
or buy the car needed to move your belongings
so you move back in with mom...
there is no shame in this. You are not a failure because you have to move back in with mom...but you do need to be doing something with your life...
so you continue to apply for jobs and look for jobs and find something that relates moderately to your degree...COME ON THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING...but there really isn't...
so you go part time...those loans will need to be repaid eventually...and that phone bill needs to be paid now...sooo you start filling out part time applications...until one day it happens
you get an interview...
you are so overqualified for the job and yet (for some strange reason) still willing to work for minimum wage...that you get hired right then and there...YAY YOU'RE EMPLOYED...part time...at minimum wage...doing something a high schooler could do...
but you are grateful for this job...its just for now...right? ya, just for now.
You go to work.
You hate it.
You come home.
You research jobs that actually relate to your degree...
you get discouraged
Eventually you just stop looking for jobs...I've got this for now...just for now...and in the spring when the rest of the world graduates and people are actually looking for new grads I'll look for a job again...
you've become comfortable in the part time world...sure you hate your job, but you've convinced yourself that it is only temporary...even though every minute it feels more and more permanent...you feel more and more trapped...but it is ok...because you've got a degree...right? I mean, you'll get out of this somehow...
This is the problem...becoming comfortable...giving up...working part time...YOU HAVE A DEGREE...If you couldn't tell all of the you's ...refer to me...I did those things...I HAVE A DEGREE...and it was really dang hard to do anything with it...
It is discouraging to look for a job and that is a huge part of the problem...
People just get stuck...they feel like there is no way out so they do something they hate just to make not enough money to pay off the large sums of debt they've accrued during college...
do I have an answer? Nope definitely not...I cannot change the job market...nor do I have any money to give you to get you started...all I can say is this...
DON'T GIVE UP
I know it stinks to be turned down...but eventually you'll find a job...yup starting off is hard...you'll be pretty poor...I mean, I'm planning on eating Ramen for the rest of my life at this point...but it can be done...just keep looking...keep working...but keep looking...don't be comfortable...part time is not where you belong...keep trying...
Friday, July 18, 2014
My Grown Up Adventure
THIS POST IS LONG!
So many of you know I am on a big big giant adventure...from the northity north, to the southity south...and I know there are many of you who are wondering what the heck is going on in my life...well here we go...
Ok so at the beginning of June I hopped on a plane and moved to the south...I spent a week on a gorgeous college campus exploring my new home. I attended many events, business and social...AND I GOT HIRED! I have a big girl job now.
I am a resource room teacher for K-5 at a public elementary school...school starts mid August and I'm excited...yet nervous as most first year teachers are. I've seen my classroom and oh man the windows! I've got a room with a view!
After that week I spent five weeks in the boondocks of Mississippi teaching little children how to school.
I would walk around campus on a very hot day and smell pine needles...couldn't figure out where they were coming from though...until one day I looked down. The campus used pine needles as mulch! which both smelled great and made me think of my old bosses on the grounds crew!
I witnessed the Mosquito Truck...yes a truck that drives around campus at least twice a day spewing pesticides...gross...very gross...but it kept the annoying bugs to an average amount...except when it pushed them inside...I got more bites inside the cafeteria than I did anywhere else! It was insane!
Oh and the cafeteria...if you like fried chicken Mississippi is the place to go...fried chicken and pork was the basic food...yes, I did pretend to be a vegetarian a few times because the food was just different and it was nice to change it up a little.
By the end of my time there, I had gotten to the point where I thought that 88 degrees at sunset was a perfectly reasonable temperature for a run. I can run in high temperatures with pretty dang high humidity levels and not die...I've made it up to a half hour of running! I haven't had time to run lately but I'm pretty excited about my progress thus far.
I traveled almost every weekend I was there. I went ...well I went to my old home...I went to Memphis, I went to other places in Mississippi, I went back to my new home to try and find a home, I went to Jackson Mississippi. In one week I saw the Mississippi River from three different states! It was such a cool experience.
It was a jam packed five weeks in Mississippi...but now I'm back to my new home...I am doing a bunch of paperwork, looking for an apartment and trying to buy a car...look at me guys! I'm a real adult...ok well I'm trying to be a real adult...I'm thankful for all the people helping me to do it!
I'm learning a lot about living in the South. I'm starting to remember to say yes ma'am and yes sir...and to expect to be called ma'am. What I consider the boondocks is actually the town...the country is further out...30 minutes is not a far drive anywhere...20 minutes is the perfect distance...I speak too fast, and should expect to have the longest small talk conversations I've ever had in my life...making eye contact on the sidewalk does not mean you want to fight...talking about God with perfect strangers is a normal thing...and many many more...
It certainly is an adventure, and I'm taking it one step at a time...wish me luck and pray for my journey!
So many of you know I am on a big big giant adventure...from the northity north, to the southity south...and I know there are many of you who are wondering what the heck is going on in my life...well here we go...
Ok so at the beginning of June I hopped on a plane and moved to the south...I spent a week on a gorgeous college campus exploring my new home. I attended many events, business and social...AND I GOT HIRED! I have a big girl job now.
I am a resource room teacher for K-5 at a public elementary school...school starts mid August and I'm excited...yet nervous as most first year teachers are. I've seen my classroom and oh man the windows! I've got a room with a view!
After that week I spent five weeks in the boondocks of Mississippi teaching little children how to school.
I would walk around campus on a very hot day and smell pine needles...couldn't figure out where they were coming from though...until one day I looked down. The campus used pine needles as mulch! which both smelled great and made me think of my old bosses on the grounds crew!
I witnessed the Mosquito Truck...yes a truck that drives around campus at least twice a day spewing pesticides...gross...very gross...but it kept the annoying bugs to an average amount...except when it pushed them inside...I got more bites inside the cafeteria than I did anywhere else! It was insane!
Oh and the cafeteria...if you like fried chicken Mississippi is the place to go...fried chicken and pork was the basic food...yes, I did pretend to be a vegetarian a few times because the food was just different and it was nice to change it up a little.
By the end of my time there, I had gotten to the point where I thought that 88 degrees at sunset was a perfectly reasonable temperature for a run. I can run in high temperatures with pretty dang high humidity levels and not die...I've made it up to a half hour of running! I haven't had time to run lately but I'm pretty excited about my progress thus far.
I traveled almost every weekend I was there. I went ...well I went to my old home...I went to Memphis, I went to other places in Mississippi, I went back to my new home to try and find a home, I went to Jackson Mississippi. In one week I saw the Mississippi River from three different states! It was such a cool experience.
It was a jam packed five weeks in Mississippi...but now I'm back to my new home...I am doing a bunch of paperwork, looking for an apartment and trying to buy a car...look at me guys! I'm a real adult...ok well I'm trying to be a real adult...I'm thankful for all the people helping me to do it!
I'm learning a lot about living in the South. I'm starting to remember to say yes ma'am and yes sir...and to expect to be called ma'am. What I consider the boondocks is actually the town...the country is further out...30 minutes is not a far drive anywhere...20 minutes is the perfect distance...I speak too fast, and should expect to have the longest small talk conversations I've ever had in my life...making eye contact on the sidewalk does not mean you want to fight...talking about God with perfect strangers is a normal thing...and many many more...
It certainly is an adventure, and I'm taking it one step at a time...wish me luck and pray for my journey!
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
When I Say "Homesick"
Hello, my name is Brittany and at the beginning of June I began making the largest transition of my life...
From North to South, from dependence to independence, from knowing lots of people to having to make brand new friends, from having a tried and true support system to forming a new one, from my church community to searching for a new church community, from post-grad working limbo to employed with a full time job that relates to what I studied, from being surrounded constantly with Catholics to being surrounded by people of various faiths and sometimes no religious affiliation, from a diverse area to an area where, yes, segregation is still a real issue, from the known to the unknown and unfamiliar.
When I say that I recently began feeling homesick, I don't necessarily mean I miss a particular place...I've realized that I now have very many homes away from home...
I don't really miss the house I just moved out of, I don't necessarily miss the many other houses I also consider to be part of my home...or my network of homes....
I MISS THE PEOPLE
I really do.
I miss my family. I miss my brothers staying up at the kitchen playing cards for pennies. I miss TV Tuesdays and Thursdays. I miss Saturday morning driving lessons and Dunkin trips with the oldest of my brothers (hope your driving is going well by the way!). I miss sharing stories with my parents. I miss sponsor/sponsee coffee dates with my brother. I miss my sister/bestfriend/mother of my Goddaughter/roommate and joking with her and telling stories, and spending time with her little family. I miss trips out with my other sister and my brother-in-law.
I miss my friends. I miss my friends from college, my household sisters, and especially my best friend. I didn't think I would be one of THOSE people attached to my college life...but I didn't really realize how great my support system was there until I went somewhere new without them. I miss spending time with them and hearing about their lives. I miss my best friend from high school. I miss being updated on her life, and just spending time together. I'm sorry our time reunited was so short and I hope you come to visit me soon!
I also just really miss having a community of people who share my faith; I miss Catholics. I am excited to embark on this new journey, and start working with a new youth group, but I do miss my old one. I miss people who understand why I believe what I believe. I miss conversations about my faith. I miss others being as excited for mass as I am. I miss talking about prayer. I miss people asking me to pray for them (although I did have one stranger in the laundry room ask for prayers which was SO EXCITING)....and I miss having people I can just ask for a quick prayer.
I don't miss places yet (surprisingly considering the ABSURD heat and humidity down here), but I do miss people. Lots and lots and lots of people. I guess it just goes to show you how big of an impact people have on our lives. I am thankful for the friends I am making down here, and I know I will miss them if one day we go separate ways.
So basically if you've ever been my friend ever...thank you and I miss you....and also treasure the relationships you have. Whether its family, friends, best friends, boyfriends, spouses...whatever the relationship...treasure it and know that having that relationship is a blessing and something to be cherished...
ok too mushy...I'm done now
From North to South, from dependence to independence, from knowing lots of people to having to make brand new friends, from having a tried and true support system to forming a new one, from my church community to searching for a new church community, from post-grad working limbo to employed with a full time job that relates to what I studied, from being surrounded constantly with Catholics to being surrounded by people of various faiths and sometimes no religious affiliation, from a diverse area to an area where, yes, segregation is still a real issue, from the known to the unknown and unfamiliar.
When I say that I recently began feeling homesick, I don't necessarily mean I miss a particular place...I've realized that I now have very many homes away from home...
I don't really miss the house I just moved out of, I don't necessarily miss the many other houses I also consider to be part of my home...or my network of homes....
I MISS THE PEOPLE
I really do.
I miss my family. I miss my brothers staying up at the kitchen playing cards for pennies. I miss TV Tuesdays and Thursdays. I miss Saturday morning driving lessons and Dunkin trips with the oldest of my brothers (hope your driving is going well by the way!). I miss sharing stories with my parents. I miss sponsor/sponsee coffee dates with my brother. I miss my sister/bestfriend/mother of my Goddaughter/roommate and joking with her and telling stories, and spending time with her little family. I miss trips out with my other sister and my brother-in-law.
I miss my friends. I miss my friends from college, my household sisters, and especially my best friend. I didn't think I would be one of THOSE people attached to my college life...but I didn't really realize how great my support system was there until I went somewhere new without them. I miss spending time with them and hearing about their lives. I miss my best friend from high school. I miss being updated on her life, and just spending time together. I'm sorry our time reunited was so short and I hope you come to visit me soon!
I also just really miss having a community of people who share my faith; I miss Catholics. I am excited to embark on this new journey, and start working with a new youth group, but I do miss my old one. I miss people who understand why I believe what I believe. I miss conversations about my faith. I miss others being as excited for mass as I am. I miss talking about prayer. I miss people asking me to pray for them (although I did have one stranger in the laundry room ask for prayers which was SO EXCITING)....and I miss having people I can just ask for a quick prayer.
I don't miss places yet (surprisingly considering the ABSURD heat and humidity down here), but I do miss people. Lots and lots and lots of people. I guess it just goes to show you how big of an impact people have on our lives. I am thankful for the friends I am making down here, and I know I will miss them if one day we go separate ways.
So basically if you've ever been my friend ever...thank you and I miss you....and also treasure the relationships you have. Whether its family, friends, best friends, boyfriends, spouses...whatever the relationship...treasure it and know that having that relationship is a blessing and something to be cherished...
ok too mushy...I'm done now
Friday, May 30, 2014
Running: It's where I Feel Strength and Weakness at the Same Time
I am an Asthmatic Runner...I am a runner and I have asthma...terrible right? Nah, not really.
I've been a runner for 11 years now...dang I didn't realize I've been running for that long. I suppose the story of my running starts with playing t-ball but let's be honest I joined a cross country team in junior high and that's where it really started...
I loved running. I loved the thrill of the crowd cheering you on as you came out of the woods, I loved sprinting to cross the finish line, pumping my arms through the air, kicking my legs and racing against the girl closest to me. I loved it! I ran well, by the end of my first season I was part of the varsity seven and remained there for my second season. It was thrilling stuff.
I joined the high school team for cross country and continued with indoor and outdoor track...yes when you live somewhere where it gets super dang cold in the winter...you have indoor track...Freshman and Sophomore year I was doing great! I was running alongside the upperclassmen and getting great times!...
but towards the end of sophomore year I had started to notice a change in my breathing...it didn't really phase me until...Captain's practice (aka unofficial summer practice) right before junior year...we were running...and
I
couldn't
breathe
I wasn't choking or anything, I just couldn't catch my breath. I stopped running and began walking...something I NEVER did...(I was one of those high and mighty runners who refused to ever walk)...it was scary, really scary, and people I didn't know were concerned for my well being...well shortly after that I was diagnosed with asthma...big surprise there
My times that season were terrible, and my times for the rest of my high school career were terrible. That spring I missed almost the entire outdoor track season due to a bad cold and...wait for it...BREAKING A RIB FROM COUGHING SO MUCH...dang asthma...you broke my rib...
In college I did not join a team...I didn't have the time or the motivation...running became a chore and for a little while I stopped doing it...then I went crazy due to the lack of exercise and started again...but I set new goals for myself...I slowed down and started to focus on distance...Sophomore spring I ran 10 miles WITHOUT TAKING MY INHALER (woot woot goal accomplished)
I continue to run-not so regularly- and now I am back to liking it....I feel weak because my lungs don't always function and cooperate the way I want them to, sometimes it hurts to run, sometimes I have to walk, I always take my inhaler before I run, and bring it with me just in case. I feel weak because I cannot push as hard as I used to. I cannot run as fast as I used to...when I track my pace I am almost always disappointed with my times. I'm an asthmatic...yup I am running with asthma...and sometimes it stinks...especially when it is hot, or there is a lot of pollen...and really people do you all have to cut your grass on the same day I'm dying here...don't get me started on when I try and run and it is too cold out (oh it burns)...it is difficult to run with asthma...and it stinks...sometimes I have to consciously decide to breathe out...like I would forget to otherwise? I'm not sure it is a strange sensation...
But I find strength in my running...because I have asthma...pushing through the pain, working on breathing, focusing on making sure I am doing it right...and running anyway makes me feel strong. There are few things more satisfying for me than when I take a little time off of my personal best...just a little bit...there is just something about finishing a run without stopping or having to slow down that just gets me feeling like I am on top of the world...I feel strong because I push through the pain. I know it is going to be difficult to run every time I do it...sure as I run more and more it gets a little easier because my body is strengthening the muscles required to run...and to breathe every time I use them...but it will never be easy...The difficulty, though does not stop me I welcome the challenge, and I feel stronger and stronger every time I take a step toward improvement.
I am an asthmatic runner...While running, I feel weak, but in that weakness I find my strength.
I've been a runner for 11 years now...dang I didn't realize I've been running for that long. I suppose the story of my running starts with playing t-ball but let's be honest I joined a cross country team in junior high and that's where it really started...
I loved running. I loved the thrill of the crowd cheering you on as you came out of the woods, I loved sprinting to cross the finish line, pumping my arms through the air, kicking my legs and racing against the girl closest to me. I loved it! I ran well, by the end of my first season I was part of the varsity seven and remained there for my second season. It was thrilling stuff.
I joined the high school team for cross country and continued with indoor and outdoor track...yes when you live somewhere where it gets super dang cold in the winter...you have indoor track...Freshman and Sophomore year I was doing great! I was running alongside the upperclassmen and getting great times!...
but towards the end of sophomore year I had started to notice a change in my breathing...it didn't really phase me until...Captain's practice (aka unofficial summer practice) right before junior year...we were running...and
I
couldn't
breathe
I wasn't choking or anything, I just couldn't catch my breath. I stopped running and began walking...something I NEVER did...(I was one of those high and mighty runners who refused to ever walk)...it was scary, really scary, and people I didn't know were concerned for my well being...well shortly after that I was diagnosed with asthma...big surprise there
My times that season were terrible, and my times for the rest of my high school career were terrible. That spring I missed almost the entire outdoor track season due to a bad cold and...wait for it...BREAKING A RIB FROM COUGHING SO MUCH...dang asthma...you broke my rib...
In college I did not join a team...I didn't have the time or the motivation...running became a chore and for a little while I stopped doing it...then I went crazy due to the lack of exercise and started again...but I set new goals for myself...I slowed down and started to focus on distance...Sophomore spring I ran 10 miles WITHOUT TAKING MY INHALER (woot woot goal accomplished)
I continue to run-not so regularly- and now I am back to liking it....I feel weak because my lungs don't always function and cooperate the way I want them to, sometimes it hurts to run, sometimes I have to walk, I always take my inhaler before I run, and bring it with me just in case. I feel weak because I cannot push as hard as I used to. I cannot run as fast as I used to...when I track my pace I am almost always disappointed with my times. I'm an asthmatic...yup I am running with asthma...and sometimes it stinks...especially when it is hot, or there is a lot of pollen...and really people do you all have to cut your grass on the same day I'm dying here...don't get me started on when I try and run and it is too cold out (oh it burns)...it is difficult to run with asthma...and it stinks...sometimes I have to consciously decide to breathe out...like I would forget to otherwise? I'm not sure it is a strange sensation...
But I find strength in my running...because I have asthma...pushing through the pain, working on breathing, focusing on making sure I am doing it right...and running anyway makes me feel strong. There are few things more satisfying for me than when I take a little time off of my personal best...just a little bit...there is just something about finishing a run without stopping or having to slow down that just gets me feeling like I am on top of the world...I feel strong because I push through the pain. I know it is going to be difficult to run every time I do it...sure as I run more and more it gets a little easier because my body is strengthening the muscles required to run...and to breathe every time I use them...but it will never be easy...The difficulty, though does not stop me I welcome the challenge, and I feel stronger and stronger every time I take a step toward improvement.
I am an asthmatic runner...While running, I feel weak, but in that weakness I find my strength.
Saturday, May 24, 2014
Leaving Lucy
So I was originally going to write a post with the same title about one of the children I've worked with...however I decided that was probably not a good idea due to confidentiality and such...by the way I've never had a student named Lucy so good luck figuring it out...
I decided to turn it into an OH MY GOSH I HAVE BEEN DOING A LOT OF LEAVING LATELY post.
like is this normal? I suppose it is...I am at that point in my life where everything...seriously everything is a whirlwind...
I graduated college in December...and I left a lot of friends behind, I left a comfortable little community behind, I left the place where I did a lot of growing up behind...that was hard and rewarding at the same time....
Then I went home to live with my mom and family and look for work...I found a job...and then I was given a much better opportunity for the following school year...
So when the time came, I quit my job at home...it wasn't the best job, but I liked working with kids, and as it turns out some of the people I worked with actually enjoyed my company, and I theirs. Some of these people may have become my friends if I stayed there longer. But I left them...it is weird I expected to be all excited to leave a part time job...and don't get me wrong I was very excited...I MEAN I HAVE A DEGREE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD I should be making more than minimum wage...what I didn't expect to feel was that I was going to miss the people. I didn't work there for very long, and I feel bad leaving the kids just as they were getting used to me, but I didn't expect my co-workers to miss me. I didn't really even expect to get good-bye's from any of them...and I was touched when I did.
I went back to campus for graduation commencement...I paid...er well lots of generous people paid for me to go to that school for four and a half years...you better believe I walked across that stage to shake the president's hand and to look pretty dang smart doing so! I went back for almost all of grad week...I only missed one event...I spent a lot of time with my friends and went on a few adventures...and then I once again had to leave them all...Some of them I may never see again, some I'll see at weddings or other big events, but who knows which friends I will or wont see? I don't...good-byes are hard...they stink...I wish you the best in life and all the happiness in the world and I hope we are still friends in the future? I just don't think there is a good way to say goodbye.
And now, I am following that great opportunity...which requires that I move from the Northity North to the Southity South of this country...it is scary...unbelievably scary...will my body be able to handle the climate change? will I be able to afford a bed? will I find an apartment? friends? a church community?
I am leaving once again, people that I love. I am leaving my family, and those friends that I've worked hard to maintain friendships with up here throughout my college years...I am leaving my youth group, I am leaving the churches that I've been involved with. The place where I was baptized, the place where I made my other sacraments, the place where I was a member of the youth group...and the place where I found the first regular confessor I've ever had...I am leaving the house I grew up in, I am leaving the bubble area that my dad's side of the family lives within...I will be one of THOSE relatives who doesn't live within driving distance...
So here I go, on to adulthood...This is real life, it is happening soon. I am leaving...again...this time for good...It is a strange feeling...excitement, mixed with fear, mixed with nostalgia, mixed with so many other emotions...life is forever moving, and I am learning to move with it...so here's to arriving, for starting new, and growing up, and here's to all those who have been a part of my journey!
I decided to turn it into an OH MY GOSH I HAVE BEEN DOING A LOT OF LEAVING LATELY post.
like is this normal? I suppose it is...I am at that point in my life where everything...seriously everything is a whirlwind...
I graduated college in December...and I left a lot of friends behind, I left a comfortable little community behind, I left the place where I did a lot of growing up behind...that was hard and rewarding at the same time....
Then I went home to live with my mom and family and look for work...I found a job...and then I was given a much better opportunity for the following school year...
So when the time came, I quit my job at home...it wasn't the best job, but I liked working with kids, and as it turns out some of the people I worked with actually enjoyed my company, and I theirs. Some of these people may have become my friends if I stayed there longer. But I left them...it is weird I expected to be all excited to leave a part time job...and don't get me wrong I was very excited...I MEAN I HAVE A DEGREE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD I should be making more than minimum wage...what I didn't expect to feel was that I was going to miss the people. I didn't work there for very long, and I feel bad leaving the kids just as they were getting used to me, but I didn't expect my co-workers to miss me. I didn't really even expect to get good-bye's from any of them...and I was touched when I did.
I went back to campus for graduation commencement...I paid...er well lots of generous people paid for me to go to that school for four and a half years...you better believe I walked across that stage to shake the president's hand and to look pretty dang smart doing so! I went back for almost all of grad week...I only missed one event...I spent a lot of time with my friends and went on a few adventures...and then I once again had to leave them all...Some of them I may never see again, some I'll see at weddings or other big events, but who knows which friends I will or wont see? I don't...good-byes are hard...they stink...I wish you the best in life and all the happiness in the world and I hope we are still friends in the future? I just don't think there is a good way to say goodbye.
And now, I am following that great opportunity...which requires that I move from the Northity North to the Southity South of this country...it is scary...unbelievably scary...will my body be able to handle the climate change? will I be able to afford a bed? will I find an apartment? friends? a church community?
I am leaving once again, people that I love. I am leaving my family, and those friends that I've worked hard to maintain friendships with up here throughout my college years...I am leaving my youth group, I am leaving the churches that I've been involved with. The place where I was baptized, the place where I made my other sacraments, the place where I was a member of the youth group...and the place where I found the first regular confessor I've ever had...I am leaving the house I grew up in, I am leaving the bubble area that my dad's side of the family lives within...I will be one of THOSE relatives who doesn't live within driving distance...
So here I go, on to adulthood...This is real life, it is happening soon. I am leaving...again...this time for good...It is a strange feeling...excitement, mixed with fear, mixed with nostalgia, mixed with so many other emotions...life is forever moving, and I am learning to move with it...so here's to arriving, for starting new, and growing up, and here's to all those who have been a part of my journey!
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
Why I Purchased my First One-Piece Since Childhood
I recently purchased this bathing suit for a few reasons.
A. It is really dang cute.
B. Who wouldn't want to dress up every time they went to the beach?
C. I haven't had a cute bathing suit since probably the very beginning of high school.
D. It is super cheap
and finally
E. It is modest...
Now don't get me wrong, I am all about letting my belly get some sun, it feels great. It is also next to impossible to find a bathing suit that is modest and allows you to do that at the same time, never mind a cute one.
I am not typically too fond of one piece bathing suits...they don't tend to be very attractive, and let's be honest it is inconvenient to have to go to the bathroom in one of those things.
I like a good two piece...for a while I was wearing board shorts and a tankini...however you spell that...
It was convenient, allowed me to mix and match, and modest....but it wasn't cute...
I went through the bathing suit shorts and a sports bra phase...ok doesn't show as much as a bikini and allowed for some tummy sun...
...but but but...then I saw something...no it wasn't a post about immodesty being immoral, it wasn't a meme about how being modest is hottest, it wasn't the very cute bathing suit I bought and am anxiously awaiting the arrival of in the mail...
It was a photo...of some rich playboy with all of his women surrounding him...
Ok Britt this isn't too unusual on the internet these days...and ya that's right...but here was this man surrounded by beautiful women...with hardly any clothes on
ladies...STICKERS DO NOT COUNT AS CLOTHING...they just don't...but here is what surprised me...
I wasn't shocked by any of it...
Ok, I could see the naked bodies of these women minus a few stickers, and it wasn't something that shocked me...like not at all...I really thought "hmmmm well that actually doesn't look much different than a bikini..."
Well shoot, I don't want people seeing so much of me that they can already tell what I look like naked....my nakedness is something private...not something for everyone on the whole beach.
And come on ladies...don't you want to save a little bit of something special for your wedding night...I would hate to be on my honey moon and not have anything new to give to my husband...I want to keep it a mystery, something special for him and only him.
I saw this photo and it scared me. It scared me that we are so used to seeing, and showing so much of our bodies that there isn't any mystery left; isn't any privacy left; isn't anything but a few inches left unseen.
So I bought this one piece, not to hide my body, but to protect it; to keep it special....and to look pretty cute doing so :)
I bought it for myself and for my future husband, to keep our relationship intimate and between us rather than open to the whole world. I bought it because my body is beautiful and should be seen in a respectful manner.
I'm not telling you to do the same, I'm not saying to never wear a 2-piece bathing suit...I'm just saying think about it...how much of yourself are you giving to the world free of charge...without demanding respect and without love? Are you going to wish one day that you had kept it private?
A. It is really dang cute.
B. Who wouldn't want to dress up every time they went to the beach?
C. I haven't had a cute bathing suit since probably the very beginning of high school.
D. It is super cheap
and finally
E. It is modest...
Now don't get me wrong, I am all about letting my belly get some sun, it feels great. It is also next to impossible to find a bathing suit that is modest and allows you to do that at the same time, never mind a cute one.
I am not typically too fond of one piece bathing suits...they don't tend to be very attractive, and let's be honest it is inconvenient to have to go to the bathroom in one of those things.
I like a good two piece...for a while I was wearing board shorts and a tankini...however you spell that...
It was convenient, allowed me to mix and match, and modest....but it wasn't cute...
I went through the bathing suit shorts and a sports bra phase...ok doesn't show as much as a bikini and allowed for some tummy sun...
...but but but...then I saw something...no it wasn't a post about immodesty being immoral, it wasn't a meme about how being modest is hottest, it wasn't the very cute bathing suit I bought and am anxiously awaiting the arrival of in the mail...
It was a photo...of some rich playboy with all of his women surrounding him...
Ok Britt this isn't too unusual on the internet these days...and ya that's right...but here was this man surrounded by beautiful women...with hardly any clothes on
ladies...STICKERS DO NOT COUNT AS CLOTHING...they just don't...but here is what surprised me...
I wasn't shocked by any of it...
Ok, I could see the naked bodies of these women minus a few stickers, and it wasn't something that shocked me...like not at all...I really thought "hmmmm well that actually doesn't look much different than a bikini..."
Well shoot, I don't want people seeing so much of me that they can already tell what I look like naked....my nakedness is something private...not something for everyone on the whole beach.
And come on ladies...don't you want to save a little bit of something special for your wedding night...I would hate to be on my honey moon and not have anything new to give to my husband...I want to keep it a mystery, something special for him and only him.
I saw this photo and it scared me. It scared me that we are so used to seeing, and showing so much of our bodies that there isn't any mystery left; isn't any privacy left; isn't anything but a few inches left unseen.
So I bought this one piece, not to hide my body, but to protect it; to keep it special....and to look pretty cute doing so :)
I bought it for myself and for my future husband, to keep our relationship intimate and between us rather than open to the whole world. I bought it because my body is beautiful and should be seen in a respectful manner.
I'm not telling you to do the same, I'm not saying to never wear a 2-piece bathing suit...I'm just saying think about it...how much of yourself are you giving to the world free of charge...without demanding respect and without love? Are you going to wish one day that you had kept it private?
Friday, April 18, 2014
What is so good about Good Friday?
So for me Good Friday has always been one of those...hey we are sad today right? So why do you keep telling happy Good Friday, and what is so good about it anyway? Because basically I was all like "Ummm hello all you people in happy La La Land...are you forgetting that this is the day that JESUS DIES?"
Ya well this year I'm starting to understand...
It is a happy day...yes Jesus does die, but it is a happy day...
reverently so of course...
Good Friday...I always understood Jesus died for us on Good Friday. I understood that that very fact is what makes the day good. I just didn't understand how people considered it a day to wish people a happy one...happy Good Friday? ...well that's just weird.
Good Friday is a day for being quiet, for being respectful and reverent: for remembering what Christ did...for remembering His death.
Yes, Good Friday is a day for all of those things, but I was still missing something...
GOOD FRIDAY CELEBRATES IN A SPECIAL WAY THE DAY THAT CHRIST DIED FOR YOU...
In case you missed that Jesus died for you! To save you, because...wait for it...He loves you...
Ok, Ok, you know all of these things....and I knew all of these things...but have you ever really thought about it? Have you ever really taken the time to process what that means?
Jesus Christ, our savior...fully human, and fully divine...died...a horrible death...because He loves you.
Jesus loves you so much that he was willing to die on a cross...to hang by nails in his hands and feet on a rough piece of wood with thorns pushing at his head for HOURS for you.
To lose so much blood that people today question whether or not it is humanly possible to do so. To fight for each breath until he physically could not fight anymore. To suffer the death of a criminal. For you.
Christ willingly took on this torture in order to save you. That, when you really and truly think about it, is just the best thing ever. Christ saved us that day, and that is why we celebrate.
Ya well this year I'm starting to understand...
It is a happy day...yes Jesus does die, but it is a happy day...
reverently so of course...
Good Friday...I always understood Jesus died for us on Good Friday. I understood that that very fact is what makes the day good. I just didn't understand how people considered it a day to wish people a happy one...happy Good Friday? ...well that's just weird.
Good Friday is a day for being quiet, for being respectful and reverent: for remembering what Christ did...for remembering His death.
Yes, Good Friday is a day for all of those things, but I was still missing something...
GOOD FRIDAY CELEBRATES IN A SPECIAL WAY THE DAY THAT CHRIST DIED FOR YOU...
In case you missed that Jesus died for you! To save you, because...wait for it...He loves you...
Ok, Ok, you know all of these things....and I knew all of these things...but have you ever really thought about it? Have you ever really taken the time to process what that means?
Jesus Christ, our savior...fully human, and fully divine...died...a horrible death...because He loves you.
Jesus loves you so much that he was willing to die on a cross...to hang by nails in his hands and feet on a rough piece of wood with thorns pushing at his head for HOURS for you.
To lose so much blood that people today question whether or not it is humanly possible to do so. To fight for each breath until he physically could not fight anymore. To suffer the death of a criminal. For you.
Christ willingly took on this torture in order to save you. That, when you really and truly think about it, is just the best thing ever. Christ saved us that day, and that is why we celebrate.
Sunday, March 23, 2014
How to move on a budget? A question posed to all my readers.
So being a college graduate and all it is time to move on in life. Find a good job and move out of my parent's house...but how?
I have been looking into moving long distance and it is dang expensive to move....So from me to all of you...how do you do it?
How do you move from one state to another? It just costs so much money...and I don't have so much money...Moving trucks...moving pods...moving trailers...those are great and all but by the time I pay for those I won't have enough dinero left to turn the electricity on in my apartment *nervous laughter*
So please comment or contact me with any tips or tricks you may have picked up on that would be useful...
Thanks :)
I have been looking into moving long distance and it is dang expensive to move....So from me to all of you...how do you do it?
How do you move from one state to another? It just costs so much money...and I don't have so much money...Moving trucks...moving pods...moving trailers...those are great and all but by the time I pay for those I won't have enough dinero left to turn the electricity on in my apartment *nervous laughter*
So please comment or contact me with any tips or tricks you may have picked up on that would be useful...
Thanks :)
Sunday, March 9, 2014
The Man at my Bus Stop
I ride the bus now, surprise surprise...recent college graduate can't afford a car...but hey the bus gets me to work early so its all good...
After work I walk out to my bus stop and sure enough within a few minutes a little old man follows me. He is slightly hunched over, and leans on his cane as he slowly crosses over the damp, muddy, grass. His movements are slow, but he gets where he needs to be. He finally reaches the sidewalk. We make eye contact but are still too far away to speak to each other. He traverses the rest of the distance to the small bench where we wait for our bus. I say "hello" with a smile.
He simply says "God bless," and sits down. I do not know if he speaks much English because he motions to his body as if to say "that was a long walk," but he does not use any words. He simply uses his heavy breathing and arms to express that he is exhausted.
I ask him if it was a long walk. He simply continues his breathing and smiles. I do not think he is fluent in English. We spend the rest of our time together on this bench in silence, watching the cars pass by.
Our bus pulls up, and we board it. The man is slow in his approach of the bus, relying on his cane as he walks towards it. He takes the steps onto the bus slowly, as traffic is forced to move around the bus. Two steps up and he pays the bus driver before taking the last step onto the bus. The man seats himself in the very front of the bus and watches the houses pass by through the windows.
The man only travels a few blocks on the bus. During that time we pass by a Catholic Church. The man is facing the opposite window, but knows the location of the Church. He blesses himself quietly as the bus passes the building.
He gets off at the stop, waiting for the bus to leave before walking away and our time together is over. This man doesn't say much to me, but it is in that short phrase, and the simple action of blessing himself that I find joy and comfort in this man.
This little old man does not know me. He does not know that I am a practicing Catholic. He has no way of knowing this, and yet the only words he said to me were "God bless." Those words, which unfortunately in today's world can be quite controversial are the only words this man chose to say to me. But it was really the amount of respect he showed as we passed the parish I grew up in that got me. He did not make a big giant gesture out of it, he didn't even know anyone was looking. But as we passed that building, which contains Jesus in the form of the Holy Eucharist, he quietly blessed himself. I was blown away.
This man's actions spoke volumes. How much can I learn from this man about how to carry myself in my day to day life? How much does this man touch other people's lives without knowing? How many people are reminded of their faith, or brought back to their faith, because this man quietly blesses himself on a city bus? How can I use this man's bus ride as an example for my own life?
After work I walk out to my bus stop and sure enough within a few minutes a little old man follows me. He is slightly hunched over, and leans on his cane as he slowly crosses over the damp, muddy, grass. His movements are slow, but he gets where he needs to be. He finally reaches the sidewalk. We make eye contact but are still too far away to speak to each other. He traverses the rest of the distance to the small bench where we wait for our bus. I say "hello" with a smile.
He simply says "God bless," and sits down. I do not know if he speaks much English because he motions to his body as if to say "that was a long walk," but he does not use any words. He simply uses his heavy breathing and arms to express that he is exhausted.
I ask him if it was a long walk. He simply continues his breathing and smiles. I do not think he is fluent in English. We spend the rest of our time together on this bench in silence, watching the cars pass by.
Our bus pulls up, and we board it. The man is slow in his approach of the bus, relying on his cane as he walks towards it. He takes the steps onto the bus slowly, as traffic is forced to move around the bus. Two steps up and he pays the bus driver before taking the last step onto the bus. The man seats himself in the very front of the bus and watches the houses pass by through the windows.
The man only travels a few blocks on the bus. During that time we pass by a Catholic Church. The man is facing the opposite window, but knows the location of the Church. He blesses himself quietly as the bus passes the building.
He gets off at the stop, waiting for the bus to leave before walking away and our time together is over. This man doesn't say much to me, but it is in that short phrase, and the simple action of blessing himself that I find joy and comfort in this man.
This little old man does not know me. He does not know that I am a practicing Catholic. He has no way of knowing this, and yet the only words he said to me were "God bless." Those words, which unfortunately in today's world can be quite controversial are the only words this man chose to say to me. But it was really the amount of respect he showed as we passed the parish I grew up in that got me. He did not make a big giant gesture out of it, he didn't even know anyone was looking. But as we passed that building, which contains Jesus in the form of the Holy Eucharist, he quietly blessed himself. I was blown away.
This man's actions spoke volumes. How much can I learn from this man about how to carry myself in my day to day life? How much does this man touch other people's lives without knowing? How many people are reminded of their faith, or brought back to their faith, because this man quietly blesses himself on a city bus? How can I use this man's bus ride as an example for my own life?
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Retarded
So I went on Facebook today and saw a whole ton of posts from the Special Olympics, the Huffington Post, and Spread the Word to End the Word. All of the posts were about getting people to stop saying the "R-Word."
I thought well this is good, maybe I will just re-post this by clicking the button right here...boom did my part....
Then I thought...well self you have your own perspective on this so why don't you share it?
Here goes...
I do not have a diagnosis, a disability, a handicap... I was fortunate to be born the way I am....but this does not mean that I think those with a diagnosis, a disability, or a handicap are unfortunate...or dumb, or lame, or less of a person...No not at all.
I am certified as an intervention specialist...I have worked with wonderful children with various diagnoses, and have LOVED working with them! Through working with them I have learned from them. I have learned how much these students are capable of...stop looking at what people can't do and start realizing what they CAN do!
Every time I hear those words - Retards, Retard, Retarded - I cringe
I have come to hate those words...to hate how they are used
The original use of the word was not meant to be harmful, but that is what it has become.
I understand that to you it means nothing...it means dumb or lame...I get that...but to me, and those in my profession, and those who the word "describes" or "labels" it is hurtful.
It has become a harmful word. My students, who I care about deeply, are not dumb. Contrarily they are quite bright...They can learn different things than the rest of us...things that we take for granted every day, things about school buses, things about music, about flowers, about people, about enjoying life. Some of these kids know how to have a better time on any given day than I do...
Look a flower...oh I uh hadn't noticed the beauty of that dandelion
They help me learn things about myself
You're being mean today...Oh oops...check myself
They are great at complimenting you
You look very pretty today Miss ___ *gets me every time*
You should teach at _____ High next year so you can be my teacher *so honored*
You're the best science teacher ever! *oh my gosh my heart can't contain this much joy*
When I notice that someone who does have a disability of some sort has made a life for themselves "in the real world" I get so excited. I am happy for them, and it brings joy to my life. I enjoy seeing their success even though I don't personally know them. They have worked harder than you will ever know to get that job, whatever the job may be...and to keep it...well my goodness they are a superstar!!!
These people, who are negatively affected by the word retard, are some of the hardest working people I know...So I choose not to make retard, retarded, and retards part of my vocabulary. I choose not to use these words, which cause so much pain, lightly. Whether or not you realize it, those words hurt...and I would encourage you not to use them.
I thought well this is good, maybe I will just re-post this by clicking the button right here...boom did my part....
Then I thought...well self you have your own perspective on this so why don't you share it?
Here goes...
I do not have a diagnosis, a disability, a handicap... I was fortunate to be born the way I am....but this does not mean that I think those with a diagnosis, a disability, or a handicap are unfortunate...or dumb, or lame, or less of a person...No not at all.
I am certified as an intervention specialist...I have worked with wonderful children with various diagnoses, and have LOVED working with them! Through working with them I have learned from them. I have learned how much these students are capable of...stop looking at what people can't do and start realizing what they CAN do!
Every time I hear those words - Retards, Retard, Retarded - I cringe
I have come to hate those words...to hate how they are used
The original use of the word was not meant to be harmful, but that is what it has become.
I understand that to you it means nothing...it means dumb or lame...I get that...but to me, and those in my profession, and those who the word "describes" or "labels" it is hurtful.
It has become a harmful word. My students, who I care about deeply, are not dumb. Contrarily they are quite bright...They can learn different things than the rest of us...things that we take for granted every day, things about school buses, things about music, about flowers, about people, about enjoying life. Some of these kids know how to have a better time on any given day than I do...
Look a flower...oh I uh hadn't noticed the beauty of that dandelion
They help me learn things about myself
You're being mean today...Oh oops...check myself
They are great at complimenting you
You look very pretty today Miss ___ *gets me every time*
You should teach at _____ High next year so you can be my teacher *so honored*
You're the best science teacher ever! *oh my gosh my heart can't contain this much joy*
When I notice that someone who does have a disability of some sort has made a life for themselves "in the real world" I get so excited. I am happy for them, and it brings joy to my life. I enjoy seeing their success even though I don't personally know them. They have worked harder than you will ever know to get that job, whatever the job may be...and to keep it...well my goodness they are a superstar!!!
These people, who are negatively affected by the word retard, are some of the hardest working people I know...So I choose not to make retard, retarded, and retards part of my vocabulary. I choose not to use these words, which cause so much pain, lightly. Whether or not you realize it, those words hurt...and I would encourage you not to use them.
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Gentlemen Part Two - The Receiving End
You may have read Part One, which was clearly geared to my readers of the male persuasion...but listen up ladies you have a part to play in this as well...
Being a lady has been quite a learning process for me...still learning...trust me...
I was a Tom Boy...seriously...hated skirts...hated them...played sports...the second my Catholic School let me wear khaki pants instead of a skirt I was like SIGN ME UP! ...I held my own, and I didn't need boys to do anything for me...and I carried that attitude with me for a while...
High school was fun and games...but then in college I took a job as a grounds keeper...tough stuff...well if I can pick up the trash around campus and shovel mulch for hours why do you think I can't open that door by myself???
No really I can carry it, it isn't that heavy...seriously
I'm not some weak little girl who can't do anything...
Ok ok....slowly but surely I began to realize that the gentlemen doing these things didn't think I was weak and pathetic...they were just trying to be nice...nice....what why would people want to be nice to me?
ummmm self because they are gentlemen and they care about you...ohhhhhh right
So wait how do you go from defensive to accepting...and even liking guys being gentlemen?
First step....notice it....I mean really....Do you think he actually prefers to be the last one to get food? NO...do you think he really really really just loves walking on the outside of the sidewalk that much? ...I mean maybe...
In your day to day life there may be guys around you who do little things...some very little, some a bit larger...notice those things...say thanks if the situation warrants it...smile...something
ACKNOWLEDGE THE GUY
Give him some credit. He is going out of his way to do something for you...notice it and appreciate it
Do something back...what? I'm a lady I don't have to do anything...WRONG...very wrong...and rude
You noticed he did something...for you....so maybe you should do something for him....ya ya ya saying thanks is a great start...but really? Do something back...something small...it doesn't have to be some grand gesture...compliment him, offer to help him with something...even if you know he is just going to say...no no no I got this...sometimes the offer is enough...
People keep debating whether or not chivalry is dead...what about being a lady? I mean really? We've forgotten...straight up forgotten how to be ladies...it is more than just sitting properly and remembering not to swear in public...its about how we, as women, respond to the people around us. Its about respect, and acknowledgement. its about being grateful and kind. Think about it ladies, give it a try :)
Being a lady has been quite a learning process for me...still learning...trust me...
I was a Tom Boy...seriously...hated skirts...hated them...played sports...the second my Catholic School let me wear khaki pants instead of a skirt I was like SIGN ME UP! ...I held my own, and I didn't need boys to do anything for me...and I carried that attitude with me for a while...
High school was fun and games...but then in college I took a job as a grounds keeper...tough stuff...well if I can pick up the trash around campus and shovel mulch for hours why do you think I can't open that door by myself???
No really I can carry it, it isn't that heavy...seriously
I'm not some weak little girl who can't do anything...
Ok ok....slowly but surely I began to realize that the gentlemen doing these things didn't think I was weak and pathetic...they were just trying to be nice...nice....what why would people want to be nice to me?
ummmm self because they are gentlemen and they care about you...ohhhhhh right
So wait how do you go from defensive to accepting...and even liking guys being gentlemen?
First step....notice it....I mean really....Do you think he actually prefers to be the last one to get food? NO...do you think he really really really just loves walking on the outside of the sidewalk that much? ...I mean maybe...
In your day to day life there may be guys around you who do little things...some very little, some a bit larger...notice those things...say thanks if the situation warrants it...smile...something
ACKNOWLEDGE THE GUY
Give him some credit. He is going out of his way to do something for you...notice it and appreciate it
Do something back...what? I'm a lady I don't have to do anything...WRONG...very wrong...and rude
You noticed he did something...for you....so maybe you should do something for him....ya ya ya saying thanks is a great start...but really? Do something back...something small...it doesn't have to be some grand gesture...compliment him, offer to help him with something...even if you know he is just going to say...no no no I got this...sometimes the offer is enough...
People keep debating whether or not chivalry is dead...what about being a lady? I mean really? We've forgotten...straight up forgotten how to be ladies...it is more than just sitting properly and remembering not to swear in public...its about how we, as women, respond to the people around us. Its about respect, and acknowledgement. its about being grateful and kind. Think about it ladies, give it a try :)
Monday, February 24, 2014
Gentlemen Part One - To Be...But How to Be?
Ok so I've come to notice some things about gentlemen and I'd like to share them... I'm no expert, just a girl sharing her thoughts.
Now it is one thing to hold a door open for a girl and another thing to actually be a gentleman. There is one key element that can make the difference...sincerity
Sincerity is key guys.
You can hold open as many doors as you want for me, but if you don't actually want to it means nothing. It shouldn't feel like I'm some helpless female who can't open a door by herself...it should be a gesture of kindness.
And it is more than just opening doors. I went to a college FULL of door openers...but it was rare for a guy to do more than that... Ok maybe not rare but there was a significant amount of men who were under the impression that holding doors open suddenly made them gentlemen.
Being a gentleman is more about caring...and showing that you care. It takes on different forms for different guys and there are plenty of ways to show you care... About women in general.
Do something nice for a woman...is she struggling to carry something? Offer to help. Is she walking with you on the sidewalk? Walk on the outside...protect her from cars, and mud. Go ahead and open that door...compliment her...not in a creepy way...but if you like the sweater, go ahead and say it
Don't be selective about who you treat like a lady...show a general respect for all women and my goodness it will be noticed...
Don't make it a big deal...it IS a big deal but if you make a kind gesture into a big deal...it becomes more about you and less about the lady...to be a gentlemen, your actions should not, in that moment, be focused on yourself. When you start doing nice things for people, without expecting recognition, it is so much easier to appreciate it...it means so much more.
Wanting to be a gentleman is a good thing...seriously it is...but you have to remember that it is more than one action. As you get to know the women around you, it will be easier to realize what you can do to make them feel important in some small way...and that...well that is everything right there.
Now it is one thing to hold a door open for a girl and another thing to actually be a gentleman. There is one key element that can make the difference...sincerity
Sincerity is key guys.
You can hold open as many doors as you want for me, but if you don't actually want to it means nothing. It shouldn't feel like I'm some helpless female who can't open a door by herself...it should be a gesture of kindness.
And it is more than just opening doors. I went to a college FULL of door openers...but it was rare for a guy to do more than that... Ok maybe not rare but there was a significant amount of men who were under the impression that holding doors open suddenly made them gentlemen.
Being a gentleman is more about caring...and showing that you care. It takes on different forms for different guys and there are plenty of ways to show you care... About women in general.
Do something nice for a woman...is she struggling to carry something? Offer to help. Is she walking with you on the sidewalk? Walk on the outside...protect her from cars, and mud. Go ahead and open that door...compliment her...not in a creepy way...but if you like the sweater, go ahead and say it
Don't be selective about who you treat like a lady...show a general respect for all women and my goodness it will be noticed...
Don't make it a big deal...it IS a big deal but if you make a kind gesture into a big deal...it becomes more about you and less about the lady...to be a gentlemen, your actions should not, in that moment, be focused on yourself. When you start doing nice things for people, without expecting recognition, it is so much easier to appreciate it...it means so much more.
Wanting to be a gentleman is a good thing...seriously it is...but you have to remember that it is more than one action. As you get to know the women around you, it will be easier to realize what you can do to make them feel important in some small way...and that...well that is everything right there.
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Being single on Valentine's Day
So here it is again....Valentine's Day...it comes every year without fail...love it or hate it, it is here...
and here I find myself single for Valentine's Day...the holiday that is named after a saint...which most benefits the greeting card industry...and is celebrated by those who are in relationships
It dominates my newsfeed, and my pinterest page, the grocery stores, and even the junk mail...its all up in my face...so doesn't it make me feel terrible to be single? Should I call it single's awareness day?
No, and here's why...
I don't find my self-worth in a relationship with a man...I don't feel like less of a person simply because I am not in a relationship.
I am not upset that I didn't come out of college with a fiance...because it would have been the wrong person. If you find your future spouse in college, that's great...but I don't feel like something is wrong with me because I didn't...
Not being in a relationship does not make a single person less of a person...your relationship status is not who you are...I am not less of a woman because I don't have a boyfriend...I'm still Brittany, I still want to be a teacher, and some day I would like to be a mom...being single today does not mean that I won't accomplish these things.
I really am tired of hearing single people feel sorry for themselves...I get it Valentines Day stinks when you're single...My name is Brittany and I've been single for more than 20 Valentine's Days...I'd rather not be in a relationship for Valentine's Day than be in a meaningless relationship that is simply to fulfill my wish to have a rose...
I'm not upset about Valentine's Day, I'll cherish the relationships that I do have, my friends and my family, and I won't settle for the wrong relationship to get flowers, change my relationship status on my profile, and feel somehow better about myself...that's not what relationships should be about...
related posts:
Christian Single
What is beauty?
His intentions should be...
and here I find myself single for Valentine's Day...the holiday that is named after a saint...which most benefits the greeting card industry...and is celebrated by those who are in relationships
It dominates my newsfeed, and my pinterest page, the grocery stores, and even the junk mail...its all up in my face...so doesn't it make me feel terrible to be single? Should I call it single's awareness day?
No, and here's why...
I don't find my self-worth in a relationship with a man...I don't feel like less of a person simply because I am not in a relationship.
I am not upset that I didn't come out of college with a fiance...because it would have been the wrong person. If you find your future spouse in college, that's great...but I don't feel like something is wrong with me because I didn't...
Not being in a relationship does not make a single person less of a person...your relationship status is not who you are...I am not less of a woman because I don't have a boyfriend...I'm still Brittany, I still want to be a teacher, and some day I would like to be a mom...being single today does not mean that I won't accomplish these things.
I really am tired of hearing single people feel sorry for themselves...I get it Valentines Day stinks when you're single...My name is Brittany and I've been single for more than 20 Valentine's Days...I'd rather not be in a relationship for Valentine's Day than be in a meaningless relationship that is simply to fulfill my wish to have a rose...
I'm not upset about Valentine's Day, I'll cherish the relationships that I do have, my friends and my family, and I won't settle for the wrong relationship to get flowers, change my relationship status on my profile, and feel somehow better about myself...that's not what relationships should be about...
related posts:
Christian Single
What is beauty?
His intentions should be...
Monday, February 10, 2014
Just being "you"
I've gone through my fair share of figure out who I am moments...and I've learned lots of things...I've learned lots of things about who I am, how to be ok in my own skin, and that I'm constantly changing...
It is important to be ok with who you are...and to be who you are...it is important to just be you
So many phases....so many that there isn't really anywhere to begin...I've been the nerdy girl, I've been the athlete, I've been the make-up on, I've been never wear make-up, I've been one knee-high, one ankle sock, I've been the get the whole team to wear face paint girl, I've been wear a tie, I've been celebrate every Friday with something crazy on my head (let's not forget I went to an art school), I've been skirts are ONLY for special occasions, I've been twirly skirts are my favorite, the list goes on and on...
There was a time when I worried too much about what other people think....sometimes is it important to consider what other people think? Sure...are you trying to get a job? Are you representing someone or something? Are you attending a special event? ...there are times when what you portray are important...but the majority of the time it is important to simply be you...
For example, high school was not the first time I ever wore a skirt over my pants...I thought it looked cool...the first time I tried it...well I worried too much about what other people thought and it took me years to try it again...I liked it...is it weird? ya of course but it was part of my quirky/creative side...
Hiding yourself is hard, it takes a lot of energy, and generally makes you sad....stop doing it!
Get out of the hole you've dug yourself into, take off all of the fake stuff...show us the real you
Who do you really wear make up for? Is it for you ...because that's fine...but is it for the world...maybe you actually hate it and you wear it because you think it makes people like you...
You'll find that you actually really like the real you...and so do other people...and funny thing...once you are ok with the real you...you tend to find others like you....like-minded people...its a wonderful thing
It is important to be ok with who you are...and to be who you are...it is important to just be you
So many phases....so many that there isn't really anywhere to begin...I've been the nerdy girl, I've been the athlete, I've been the make-up on, I've been never wear make-up, I've been one knee-high, one ankle sock, I've been the get the whole team to wear face paint girl, I've been wear a tie, I've been celebrate every Friday with something crazy on my head (let's not forget I went to an art school), I've been skirts are ONLY for special occasions, I've been twirly skirts are my favorite, the list goes on and on...
There was a time when I worried too much about what other people think....sometimes is it important to consider what other people think? Sure...are you trying to get a job? Are you representing someone or something? Are you attending a special event? ...there are times when what you portray are important...but the majority of the time it is important to simply be you...
For example, high school was not the first time I ever wore a skirt over my pants...I thought it looked cool...the first time I tried it...well I worried too much about what other people thought and it took me years to try it again...I liked it...is it weird? ya of course but it was part of my quirky/creative side...
Hiding yourself is hard, it takes a lot of energy, and generally makes you sad....stop doing it!
Get out of the hole you've dug yourself into, take off all of the fake stuff...show us the real you
Who do you really wear make up for? Is it for you ...because that's fine...but is it for the world...maybe you actually hate it and you wear it because you think it makes people like you...
You'll find that you actually really like the real you...and so do other people...and funny thing...once you are ok with the real you...you tend to find others like you....like-minded people...its a wonderful thing
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
Have we been desensitized by television?
My answer...yes.
I was going to write this over the summer...and then again when I read about the Victoria's Secret Baby...but I never got around to it...
it is important I think so here we go...
Have we been desensitized by television? Well desensitized to what? Many things I'm sure...but at this current time I'd like to talk about how we, as a society have been desensitized to murder...
yup murder...
Don't get me wrong, I love a good cop show...I mean what your reading is written by the girl who got hooked on a cop show...her sister got her hooked on it actually...that same sister found out that I couldn't watch it on Netflix because I don't have an account...and so I am now borrowing 8 seasons of the show on DVD from said sister...complicated I know...
Love it...love the intrigue, the action, the plot development...and overall I just love most cop shows..
I didn't use to...they used to scare me...
But think about it...ok Victoria's Secret Baby...you read it...and you think about the baby for a second but then you start to think about the girl involved...who could possibly do such a thing? How could this possibly happen? What are the cops doing about it?
and then you just start talking about it...it comes up in conversations everywhere and becomes...well...gossip...but ummmmmm what about the poor child? Remember your first thought? go back to it and hold onto it for a little while longer...A baby died...regardless of how the matter is that a child no longer with us...Did you say a prayer for this baby? Did you mourn this baby in any way?
Ok ok so you don't know the baby...Well I didn't know the person that made me want to write this post over the summer either...
Over the summer I did the landscaping at my church with some of my friends...One day the house across the street became a crime scene...Cops, police tape, the medical examiner and everything...the whole nine yards...well weren't we all interested...
What happened over there? Did you see ANOTHER cop car pulled up five minutes ago? Oh boy here comes the medical examiner...someone definitely died over there. I wonder where the murderer is? Is he still in the woods behind the church? How long ago did the murder happen?
WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH...SLOW DOWN
Did we know for sure it was a murder? No. We just jumped to conclusions as if our life had suddenly become a cop show...HELLOOOOO ...SELF....SOMEONE PASSED AWAY IN THAT HOUSE...DO YOU THINK YOU MIGHT LIKE TO RESPECT THAT PERSON AND THEIR FAMILY?
No, of course not...it wasn't until later that I realized a person died...and maybe I should say a prayer for the repose of their soul and stay out of their business....I was so into the mystery...that I forgot about the real person...this was real life...and I treated it like a television show.
I think we, as a society, need to take some time and think more about the people, and less about the mysteries...let the real-life cops handle the real-life problems.
I was going to write this over the summer...and then again when I read about the Victoria's Secret Baby...but I never got around to it...
it is important I think so here we go...
Have we been desensitized by television? Well desensitized to what? Many things I'm sure...but at this current time I'd like to talk about how we, as a society have been desensitized to murder...
yup murder...
Don't get me wrong, I love a good cop show...I mean what your reading is written by the girl who got hooked on a cop show...her sister got her hooked on it actually...that same sister found out that I couldn't watch it on Netflix because I don't have an account...and so I am now borrowing 8 seasons of the show on DVD from said sister...complicated I know...
Love it...love the intrigue, the action, the plot development...and overall I just love most cop shows..
I didn't use to...they used to scare me...
But think about it...ok Victoria's Secret Baby...you read it...and you think about the baby for a second but then you start to think about the girl involved...who could possibly do such a thing? How could this possibly happen? What are the cops doing about it?
and then you just start talking about it...it comes up in conversations everywhere and becomes...well...gossip...but ummmmmm what about the poor child? Remember your first thought? go back to it and hold onto it for a little while longer...A baby died...regardless of how the matter is that a child no longer with us...Did you say a prayer for this baby? Did you mourn this baby in any way?
Ok ok so you don't know the baby...Well I didn't know the person that made me want to write this post over the summer either...
Over the summer I did the landscaping at my church with some of my friends...One day the house across the street became a crime scene...Cops, police tape, the medical examiner and everything...the whole nine yards...well weren't we all interested...
What happened over there? Did you see ANOTHER cop car pulled up five minutes ago? Oh boy here comes the medical examiner...someone definitely died over there. I wonder where the murderer is? Is he still in the woods behind the church? How long ago did the murder happen?
WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH...SLOW DOWN
Did we know for sure it was a murder? No. We just jumped to conclusions as if our life had suddenly become a cop show...HELLOOOOO ...SELF....SOMEONE PASSED AWAY IN THAT HOUSE...DO YOU THINK YOU MIGHT LIKE TO RESPECT THAT PERSON AND THEIR FAMILY?
No, of course not...it wasn't until later that I realized a person died...and maybe I should say a prayer for the repose of their soul and stay out of their business....I was so into the mystery...that I forgot about the real person...this was real life...and I treated it like a television show.
I think we, as a society, need to take some time and think more about the people, and less about the mysteries...let the real-life cops handle the real-life problems.
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
The girl with the very deliberate motions
So I haven't posted in a little while. Last week I was all like...hmmm I want to write something meaningful...and then a job posting came into my life and a cover letter had to be written...soooo let's give this another try...
Something meaningful...
Well y'all know by now that my faith is pretty important to me...but I'm not perfect...let's be honest sometimes I'm downright lazy...
And sometimes I notice my own laziness by witnessing others' actions...
There is this girl who goes to my ...well my Alma Mater now...weird...she goes to the college I just graduated from...
anyway she is always very deliberate and slow in her motions when she makes the sign of the cross.
It used to annoy me...I'm not sure why...maybe because I'm from a part of the country that does everything fast paced and it didn't matter to me that the mass would not start in the 5 extra seconds I had to wait for her to bless herself so that I could reach the holy water bless myself and find my seat...nope didn't matter at all...to me she was just doing it too slow and all I wanted to do was find my seat...
Then one day I thought about how I blessed myself...did I really think about it at all? nope
To me it had simply become muscle memory. Dip fingers in water, move arm about body, move on.
What does it even mean? ...She probably knows, she takes the time to respect that prayer...
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit....the Three persons of the Trinity....ummmm Hello...shouldn't we care about Them? ...yes...So why don't I think about the Trinity when I make the sign of the cross? Because it has become habit? Lame excuse self lame excuse...
Now, I'm no theologian, but I know that it is important to recognize the persons of the Trinity...so clearly I should take a lesson from that girl...the girl who slowly makes the sign of the cross every single time...maybe I should spend some time reflecting on the words that habitually go through my mind as I make the motions...instead of simply letting them pass by...
Something meaningful...
Well y'all know by now that my faith is pretty important to me...but I'm not perfect...let's be honest sometimes I'm downright lazy...
And sometimes I notice my own laziness by witnessing others' actions...
There is this girl who goes to my ...well my Alma Mater now...weird...she goes to the college I just graduated from...
anyway she is always very deliberate and slow in her motions when she makes the sign of the cross.
It used to annoy me...I'm not sure why...maybe because I'm from a part of the country that does everything fast paced and it didn't matter to me that the mass would not start in the 5 extra seconds I had to wait for her to bless herself so that I could reach the holy water bless myself and find my seat...nope didn't matter at all...to me she was just doing it too slow and all I wanted to do was find my seat...
Then one day I thought about how I blessed myself...did I really think about it at all? nope
To me it had simply become muscle memory. Dip fingers in water, move arm about body, move on.
What does it even mean? ...She probably knows, she takes the time to respect that prayer...
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit....the Three persons of the Trinity....ummmm Hello...shouldn't we care about Them? ...yes...So why don't I think about the Trinity when I make the sign of the cross? Because it has become habit? Lame excuse self lame excuse...
Now, I'm no theologian, but I know that it is important to recognize the persons of the Trinity...so clearly I should take a lesson from that girl...the girl who slowly makes the sign of the cross every single time...maybe I should spend some time reflecting on the words that habitually go through my mind as I make the motions...instead of simply letting them pass by...
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