Christian Single

Oh my goodness I'm still single? How long am I going to have to wait for a man to step up and sweep me off my feet? When will my future husband come along and show me who he is? When will someone here be a MAN? Oh man I'm a senior, if I want my MRS. degree I better get a boyfriend NOW!

Yes, I am a single woman living in a Christian world. Yes, I've felt like the above questions before (well ok the MRS. degree is a bit of an exaggeration), so many of us have. I, like so many women, seek a relationship with a kind, loving, strong, Christian man. I long to be with my husband, and I do indeed long for that intimacy between a husband and a wife. It is only natural.

Do my desires for a relationship mean I sit around moping about the fact that I am single? No, certainly not. Does it mean I give in to the "senior shuffle" and try to find a boyfriend before graduation? No. It also doesn't mean that I measure my worth based on my relationship status, or on whether or not men find me attractive.

I embrace my current status as single.

I know, you're thinking "what does that even mean?"

Well lets start with a few weeks ago I read a blog post written by one of my good friends. At the time I thought she made some rather good points and then I just moved on. Well this post came back into my thoughts recently, particularly the part she brought up about how hard it is to use self control once you find your "other half."

Think about it, if you want intimacy now and you're not in a relationship, how much harder is it going to be when you are in a relationship? So much harder! The desire will become much stronger, the temptations will be harder to fight, and limits will NEED to be set. Now this does not mean that I am afraid of being in a relationship because of the challenge. What it means is that I can take this time to prepare myself for a relationship. I can take this time to pray for my husband, and to dive deeper into my faith. I can also take this time to learn more about myself and to become more mature.

I am  in college still, I am young! I also have learned something about myself: I am extremely independent. I can't help it, I need to figure things out for myself. Being single makes me able to do this. I can decide what I want to do for a living, where I want to go, and what kind of job I will apply for. If I was financially able to, I seriously considered two years of volunteer work on the Mercy Ships in Africa. Now finances may hold me back, but getting settled in an area with my boyfriend/fiance/husband will not because I don't have one. I like this. I like being able to do what I want and be in control.

If a valid relationship presents itself will I consider it? Yes, but not because I am lonely, or to attempt to fill some "void" created because of my singleness. I would consider it if I felt the relationship could go somewhere. Does it mean I would marry the next person I go on a date with? Just because I want to get married does not mean I will only date someone I "know" I am going to marry some day. How can you even know that if you haven't been on a single date?

I feel like many Christian women are so focused on marriage, that they skip the dating part. Going on a date does not mean you are getting married. If you are hearing wedding bells on your first date, you may want to get your ears checked. WAKE UP LADIES! One date is not an indication of what married life will be like. Married life is a wonderful beautiful thing, but I am not ready for it yet!

In the meantime I will wait, at times not so patiently, for the right man. I will be open to dating, but will not consider a great first date a reason to marry a man. I will also not lower my standards. I know what is important to me, and I will not settle for less simply to have a boyfriend. I will consider my emotions, and the emotions of the men I interact with on a regular basis (if you won't date him, why flirt with him?). And I certainly will not think any less of myself because I am single. And neither should you :)