Confession

You stand in line, maybe for so long that you decide to sit on the floor instead. The priests start to walk into the chapel or the church. They look at the line, maybe they are thinking about how long it is, maybe they are thinking they are glad to see so many people asking forgiveness for their sins. You don't know what they are thinking, and you know full well how long the line is. Several people are behind you in line but its the people in front of you that are on your mind. Each person in line in front of you means more time.

More time to sit in your sinfulness. Maybe you did an examination of conscious before getting in line. You sit in line with those sins on your mind, maybe written on a little piece of paper shoved in your pocket. Maybe you didn't do an examination beforehand and now that you are in line your sins are running through your mind and now you start to feel anxious.

The line moves.

Your stomach is filled with knots and butterflies that try to fly through those knots. All you can think about is telling the priest the awful things you have done; the ways in which you have hurt Christ, and His Church. 

Your turn is next, you watch the priests to see who will be your confessor. The priest on the left over there finishes and you make your way over to him. You follow the format, you know the drill. "Bless me father for I have sinned..." and continue on to say all of your sins, all of your dirt and filth. There, you've said it, you admitted that you are a sinner and did in fact do some bad things, and you ask for forgiveness. 

The priest then talks to you, you try very hard to pay attention because you know that this is important. Maybe he is trying to help you with a particular sin you struggle with. Maybe he is telling you that you are a good person and he is glad you came to confession today to show God that you love Him. The priest gives you your penance and asks you to make a good Act of Contrition. You do so and then are absolved of your sins. 

You are forgiven.

You leave the priest in wonder. How great is God that He can just forgive my sins? He is so great and loving. What a wonderful privilege it is to be a member of the Catholic faith, where confession is available, and forgiveness is given. How awesome to receive the graces to fight temptation and try and live a better life. You do your penance with a lighter heart, knowing that you are forgiven, and the Christ loves you. 

The knots are gone, the butterflies have flown away. You are left with a smile and a prayer. 

You pray for the perseverance to do well, to fight the good fight. You pray in thanksgiving for forgiveness, and you pray for the strength to forgive others as Christ has just forgiven you. What a powerful sacrament confession is! Cherish it and be grateful!

Why in the world do I run?

So I like to run, a lot of people know this...but why, why do I do it?

Running hurts, it triggers my asthma, it takes time out of the day, its not like I actually need to lose weight and my manual labor job keeps me in shape...and yet I do it. When I can't run because I'm injured, or its too cold for my asthma I miss it.

I've been running for what feels like forever. I started running in the seventh grade, mostly because my sister did before me. She liked it, it motivated her...and you get a cool sweatshirt...so hey why the heck not...I gave the running thing a try.

And I liked it.

I liked the rush and the crowds and sprinting to the finish. I liked running in the mud and getting all gross, and I liked being part of the team. 

Running was hard in high school, because I went to one of THOSE schools. You know the schools without any sports...super lame I know. So I ran for the local high school - the regular one. I missed practice every day, missed most of outdoor track season, and high school is when I developed asthma...phew running got a lot harder when I couldn't breathe! Indoor track was the worst! That air was so stale and yucky that even a person without asthma had trouble breathing.

I kept running though, purely because I wanted the 9 pin award (achieving 9 varsity pins in your high school career). I finally got it and then I stopped running. I had no more reason for it.

I decided not to run in college because of my asthma. Athletically induced asthma takes the fun right out of running! And then something happened...I had to run again, I just couldn't not. A nice day would come along and I would think man this is a nice day for a run. Most people think "hmm this is a nice day to sit outside doing absolutely nothing," but not me my mind went to running.

So I started running again, very slowly (at least I thought it was slowly). Around campus a few times, and then I wasn't tired so I kept going. I had no far I was running I just went for it. I was asked to run in the memorial race on campus by a few of my friends they thought it would be fun. I originally turned them down because, well, I was afraid I couldn't do a 5K yet. I looked at the course map and found out the lap I'd been running is just under a mile long. The day before I was asked to run the 5K I ran 8 laps...well that pretty much settled it, I was going to run again. 

I ran the 5K very slowly but I had a new goal: run 10 miles without using my inhaler by the end of the next semester. I had a goal again and running became fun. I ran slow, but steady and completed my goal with just days left in the semester. I was very happy. 

Since then I ran 3 more 5K races (another memorial on campus, a memorial at home and the Color Me RAD 5K). I have also started increasing my speed, but then injury took over and I am anxiously awaiting the return of proper running weather so I can start again.

So why do I do it? Simply because I like it. I work towards goals and improving myself. Blaring music while running also makes it quite enjoyable.