New Endings?

Although this is not about the New Year, the timing seems fitting enough. I've been doing some thinking. I will be graduating college in less than a year now...a little late but better late than never right? It means a lot of "lasts": last formal dance at school, last spring semester with my friends, last time I hunt for a roommate to apply for housing with, last honors course in the Great Books curriculum (YES!!!) the list goes on an on and on. 

One thing I've been thinking a lot about though is that it is my last semester on the grounds crew. It was an unlikely job for me to get in the first place. To this day I wonder why I was hired for it freshman year. I'm a city girl, I've never worked on a farm like some of my co-workers, never in a greenhouse or a plant nursery. When asked if I had experience I said "Well we tilled my front yard once and my brother's got a garden so I can water stuff." STUFF I used the word stuff when applying for a job WHY IN THE WORLD DID THEY HIRE ME? I think the more important question though is what have I learned from this job experience?

First would be to be prepared for questions when you turn in an application at a job fair, on the spot interviews can tell a lot about a person.

Something else I have to think back on is that I did not want the job at all. I remember during orientation seeing a girl on the grounds crew sweeping cigarettes and I thought to myself "now there is a job I do not want!" Ha Ha well little did I know that somewhere around six applications later I would only get 2 phone calls. One saying sorry, the other was my new boss telling me to come on in to work and get started. A little lesson in humility there.

I learned how to appreciate all people who do manual labor, and those other tasks no one wants to do...shoveling snow in 7 degree weather at 9 am on a Saturday? been there! cleaning up after that free concert? and my personal favorite trash duty. These parts of my job I may not like, but I have learned from them to better appreciate workers in general. 

I've learned how to work for something that I want to accomplish. I'm paying for myself to go to college. My parents are not funding my education. The grounds crew is hard work. It is physically challenging and taxing on my body, but it allows me to go to school, and get my degree. It makes me appreciate my classes even if I sometimes find them boring. 

I've learned how to take directions, and I've learned a lot from them. Being a city girl on the grounds crew is no easy task! I've had to learn how to drive a pick-up with a plow on it, specific ways to prune plants, the names of plants, how to use a leaf blower and so much more. This took time. Over 4 years I have learned so much! 

I look back on these things that I've learned, and more, from this job and I am sad that it is ending. I almost cannot believe it. What will I do without the watchful and caring eyes of my bosses? Where will I find myself as this job ends and I look towards starting my career? It is an ending. This job will be the first one I ever quit without the intention of coming back; Not because I dislike the job, but because my work here is done. It is a weird time, but it is a new experience I can learn from. I can also used what I've learned from the grounds crew as I move towards my career (especially the on the spot interview part). It will be an adventure.

St. Joseph's Yes

Its no secret that I have a devotion to Our Lady, but I'm also quite the fan of St. Joseph and the Holy Family. At Christmas Eve mass something struck me. Mary's yes was important, but so was Joseph's. He almost "quietly divorced" Mary, but God asked him not to. By not doing so, and therefore saying yes, St. Joseph became the earthly father figure for Jesus; His adoptive father.

Have you ever actually paid attention to the reading at Christmas Eve mass? I know it rotates depending on the year for the Gospels, and I know the vigil reading is different from midnight mass and all the others, but this year's struck me. I went to the vigil so I've included this link to a website so you can refresh your memory or maybe read it for the first time :)

So the first line of the Gospel sums it up pretty well, "The book of the genealogy of Jesus Christ, the son of David, the son of Abraham." The reading goes through all of the different fathers in the lineage from Abraham to Jesus. " all the generations from Abraham to David were fourteen generations, and from David to the deportation to Babylon fourteen generations, and from the deportation to Babylon to the Christ fourteen generations." The lineage was continuous, but I want you to look closely to the very end of the lineage...

"Jacob the father of Joseph the husband of Mary, of whom Jesus was born, who is called Christ. " 

Do you know what that means? Maybe not, I never really thought about it. Jesus was in the direct line from Abraham, Jesse, David, and many other great men because Joseph said yes. Isn't that fantastic? I've always known Jesus had important lineage, mainly because I sang songs about it in the children's choir at church and the songs just stuck with me. What I didn't realize was that because Joseph said yes Jesus had that lineage.

If Joseph said no, Jesus would still have Mary's lineage. I don't know very much about her lineage except her parents were pretty awesome. But Joseph didn't quietly divorce his wife who was with child, instead he stayed with her and took on the important task of raising baby Jesus, thus giving Jesus the lineage we sing glorious songs about today. 

Is your mind blown? because I'm pretty sure mine is!

The Point of this Blog

So most people have a theme for their blogs. Some bloggers are really organized and include links to different websites they like or dislike. Some have political blogs, others religious. 

So what's the point of my blog?

I've been thinking about that. 

My blog is a place I intend to share my thoughts on things. Will they all be religious things? No, but some posts will be religious. Will they be political? Probably only if I feel something really needs to be said. Will it be random? Oh for sure that is mostly what this blog will be. It will be about things I encounter, things I think about, and things I do. 

Where did the name of my blog come from?

I used to be an art major in high school, so I have an artistic eye. In photography I really like when the objects in the front are black and the sky is lit up. I think this is very beautiful. I'm sure it could also be used as a metaphor for many things but honestly, it is simply because I find beauty in that natural lighting. 

The Scourging at the Pillar

As many of you may know I am recovering from a shoulder/back injury (if you didn't know don't worry its nothing major just, well, painful). I was doing my landscaping work at school yesterday and was hitting hour six of work raking leaves. It hurt pretty bad; all of the bending over to pick them up and the raking and carrying the leaf blower was a bit painful. I really just wanted to call it quits. Then something happened, I looked up in pain and saw a cross. I thought if I am in this much pain now, I can't even imagine the pain Christ's back went through. I then decided my back didn't hurt so bad, and continued to work, and complained a lot less. It made me grateful for Christ's love and made me realize just how much He loves us.

Tonight my household prayed the sorrowful mysteries together. I love praying with my sisters, but tonight's rosary was even more special. During the decade for the Scouraging at the Pillar, I meditated on how Mary must've felt as she watched her son be whipped and beaten. As she watched her son bleed, and saw the pain in his face. As she watched him be abused FOR US. What torture that must've been for her.

Christ suffered back pain like we couldn't believe FOR OUR SINS, because we aren't perfect, because we turn away from him, because we don't love.

And Mary watched.

Take some time today to think about what Christ did for us, even though we are all sinners. Think about how much He loves us. And take some time to think about Mary, how she also was hurting because of us, because we NEED her son, because we sin.

Take some time to say thank you

Mary as Mother

"Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you. Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of death. Amen."

"blessed is the fruit of your womb.

"Holy Mary, mother of God."

Think about those lines for a minute. Have you ever realized that Mary is a mother. Have you ever really realized this. Think about this, think about what it means.

Mary was a mom!!!!

What does that mean for those of us who pray to her?

For me it means I have a prime model of motherhood to look up to. As a woman I am called to motherhood; be it physical or spiritual motherhood, all women are. We all hit a point in our lives where we say "If I am a mom, I will never be like my mother." Admit it we all do, usually its just temporary, and as we grow up we realize that our mothers may just know more than we think. We can look to our physical mothers for guidance, but I would like to propose that we also look to Our Lady as a model mother.

In the Catholic world we hear a lot of "Momma Mary" going around. Oh Momma Mary she is so good. Do we stop to think about who she is? Mary accepted the task of raising our savior. Mary was pregnant; imagine that. Mary watched her belly grow, she felt her baby kick, and she gave birth. She gave birth to a beautiful bouncing baby boy; our Savior. She raised Him; our Lord! Can you imagine the patience, the nurturing, and the guidance required to raise a Savior? Jesus is fully God, AND fully human. I would imagine that means He needed a loving mommy there for him as he grew up, and Mary was there for Him. She would have had to help Him with His physical needs, as any mother would. She also guided Him and urged Him forward (remember the wedding at Canna?).

As Catholics we have this wonderful model to look up to for motherhood; loving, caring, patient, and yet when needed she could still give that extra push to her Son.

Think about Mary as a mother. What does that mean to you?

Wants, Needs, and Christmas Trees

Have you ever run into a problem when someone asks you what you want for Christmas?

For me it is a tough question. I always struggle to "come up" with enough things that I want. I usually try to go for things that I need. Year after year, I find that I am less than able to answer the question. 

"I need a list by Friday."
"Give us a couple ideas of what you want"
"I don't know doesn't count as an answer."

When I was a kid I was always asked to make a list of only three things. The list was set at three because Christ received three things from the wise men. I like this tradition, and plan to continue it one day when I have children. Until then I have a growing number of people asking me my wants. 

What a strange problem to have, not knowing what you want. I don't really need anything. My apartment is set on gadgets for now, I just got myself new clothes, and the only things I really need are far too expensive to ask for. It really made me take a look at my life. I have a lot. To some it may seem like only a little. I don't have the fanciest phone, but why would I need that my phone works just fine. I don't have a large house, but my apartment is the perfect size for this point in life. Tugs (the little lap top that could) is soon to become the little lap top that just can't anymore, but clearly it works for now. I don't have fancy jewelry or clothes, but I don't need these things. I can get along just fine without them, and have been doing so for quite some time now. I am very content with my life. In fact sometimes I feel like I have too much...
...and yet, Christmas is a time for giving.

I want to give gifts as much as the next guy, its a way of showing others you care. I know others ask because they want to show me that they care. And so I will ask, yes for things, but for those little things I need that will mean a lot to me, especially when given by someone.