Ok so I've come to notice some things about gentlemen and I'd like to share them... I'm no expert, just a girl sharing her thoughts.
Now it is one thing to hold a door open for a girl and another thing to actually be a gentleman. There is one key element that can make the difference...sincerity
Sincerity is key guys.
You can hold open as many doors as you want for me, but if you don't actually want to it means nothing. It shouldn't feel like I'm some helpless female who can't open a door by herself...it should be a gesture of kindness.
And it is more than just opening doors. I went to a college FULL of door openers...but it was rare for a guy to do more than that... Ok maybe not rare but there was a significant amount of men who were under the impression that holding doors open suddenly made them gentlemen.
Being a gentleman is more about caring...and showing that you care. It takes on different forms for different guys and there are plenty of ways to show you care... About women in general.
Do something nice for a woman...is she struggling to carry something? Offer to help. Is she walking with you on the sidewalk? Walk on the outside...protect her from cars, and mud. Go ahead and open that door...compliment her...not in a creepy way...but if you like the sweater, go ahead and say it
Don't be selective about who you treat like a lady...show a general respect for all women and my goodness it will be noticed...
Don't make it a big deal...it IS a big deal but if you make a kind gesture into a big deal...it becomes more about you and less about the lady...to be a gentlemen, your actions should not, in that moment, be focused on yourself. When you start doing nice things for people, without expecting recognition, it is so much easier to appreciate it...it means so much more.
Wanting to be a gentleman is a good thing...seriously it is...but you have to remember that it is more than one action. As you get to know the women around you, it will be easier to realize what you can do to make them feel important in some small way...and that...well that is everything right there.
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