The hemorrhaging woman, Jesus, and the Eucharist

At one point I was struggling with something and I thought "If only I could be like the woman in the Bible who reached out and touched Jesus and was healed..."

"...there was a woman who had had a flow of blood for twelve years, and who had suffered much under many physicians, and had spent all that she had, and was no better but rather grew worse. She had heard the reports about Jesus, and came up behind him in the crowd and touched his garment. For she said, 'If I touch even his garments, I shall be made well.' and immediately the hemorrhage ceased; and she felt in her body that she was healed of her disease...And he said to her, 'Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace and be healed of your disease.'" Mark 5:25-29, 34 (RSV)

First of all to have her faith would be amazing...believing that if I touched the clothes of Christ I would finally be healed. Think about it. SHE HAS BEEN BLEEDING FOR 12 YEARS...12 YEARS! And she believes that by touching this man's clothes, the healing that years of expensive medical visits could not grant her, could finally be received.

Just by touching His clothes

WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTT What a crazy leap of faith that must have been, and she had to push through the crowds to do it. I can only imagine she was in immense pain...and yet, to her, it was worth it...and oh was it worth it!

Second, sometimes I long for Jesus to be here. Like oh to be that woman, to be able to find Jesus and touch His clothes. To be able to be HEALED by Him. Can you imagine? What times!

And then I think a little harder...and I pray a little harder...and I think...well God is here now...in many ways.... Jesus is present in the Eucharist....in my own body...

OH MY GOODNESS!

Ok, self, you mean to tell me that more than touching His clothing, I actually become a tabernacle and hold the body, blood, soul, and divinity of Jesus Christ within me?!?!?!?!

I mean, yes. As a Catholic, I believe that the consecrated Eucharist really is Jesus. I believe that He is available to me physically in the Eucharist every day. I do more than touch His clothes....I see Him and touch Him, and hold Him within me every time I go to mass.

What a beautiful thing! To have Jesus physically present in the Eucharist. What a wonder, what a miracle! Yet, we take Him for granted. We go through the motions; stick out your hands, say Amen, consume the flat bread, walk back to your seat....did you even just think about what you did?

You said yes, Lord, I believe that this is really You when you say amen. You become a tabernacle containing Jesus in His body, blood, soul, and divinity. You grow in unity with the universal Church because we "are one body, one body in Christ, and we do not stand alone."

I've been trying to think of a conclusion for this post...but how can there be a conclusion for something so great? Go to church, receive Him, rejoice!

Faith and Windshield Wipers

My name is Brittany and I need new windshield wipers.

This is a basic every day life kind of thing right? right.

...but here is the thing...I never remember I need to do something about them until it rains.

I don't think about going to the store literally a block and a half away from my house until the rain is coming down, or the fog is thick and my wipers leave this lovely streak right in the middle of my line of vision. I don't want to do anything about the issue with my windshield wipers until I need them to work and they aren't doing it the way I want them to.

Still seems fairly normal right? Something your average person does...well add to that the fact that two and a half years ago I moved to the land of rapidly changing weather, severe weather, and sudden torrential downpours.

I live somewhere that I NEED my windshield wipers to work.

Ok, ok, but what does that have to do with faith?

Do we not do the same thing with our faith? I know I do.

Sometimes I forget to pray. Sometimes I let my relationship with God waiver. Things are going well, the sun is shining my life is somewhat together, I'm sleeping well, I don't "need" anything from God. He's given me what I need for right now so I don't feel the need to talk to him. I don't feel like praying at night because I just want to go to sleep. I'll do it later.

And then BAM the bad weather of real life hits like driving home from work in the rain suddenly realizing that you should have bought those windshield wipers when it was sunny out and you could see while you were driving.

Life hits hard.

What do you do? Suddenly you care about God again. Suddenly you start to pray. God, why oh why God is this happening? I need you now. I need you now more than ever.

And God is just chilling there like. Child, I've been here the whole time. I've been longing for you, waiting for you. Where have you been? I've loved you, waited for you sent my love to you and had my heart ache for you. My child let me help you and please do not leave.

Stay with me, He says.

Go to Him in the bad times, yes, but rejoice with him in the good. Rest in Him always. Don't wait for the rain. Praise Him in the sun.

My dirty stinky cup...overflows?

"You set a table before me as my enemies watch; You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows." (Psalm 23:5)

My cup overflows...picture that in your head for a second. Imagine Jesus filling up this glass full of goodness and love...

But you say to Jesus...

Lord, I don't want to present my cup to you. It is dirty, fogged up and cracked. I have dropped it, kicked it, put things in it; it is filled with murky water that drips from the crack onto my arm as I hide it behind my back. The odor travels to my nose now as I am speaking to You. I cannot handle the stench of my own filth. My cup is not worthy of Your goodness and love.

Christ extends His hand and says:

My child, bring it to me, I make all things new. Would I ask for your cup if I did not want it? I know you in a deep and intimate way, I know the condition of your cup, and that my dear is why I need it so badly.

I want to fix it. I want to mend the crack in the side, and clean it inside and out. I want to go deep into the layers of fog and clear things up. I want to take the bad things out for you my child and help you to keep them out. It is my desire to replace the murky water you have collected with goodness and love.

Will you not let me fill your cup with love? I want so badly to fix the broken pieces. I want to give you the best of the best. I cannot do so if you do not let me. Child, hand me you broken cup. Let me make it new. You cannot handle the stench so let me do it for you. Let me show you what love should look like. Let me take that burden from you.

...and you my brothers and sisters

"I confess to almighty God and to you, my brothers and sisters, that I have greatly sinned, in my thoughts and in my words, in what I have done and in what I have failed to do, through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault; therefore I ask blessed Mary ever-Virgin, all the Angels and Saints, and you, my brothers and sisters, to pray for me to the Lord our God."

Sometimes I kind of zone out during mass and don't really pay attention to the words I'm saying...one day I decided to pay attention to this prayer as we said it together in mass (something we should really do for every prayer in the mass).

When I really paid attention one phrase hit me..."my brothers and sisters."

During this prayer we are admitting to God and our brothers and sisters that we have sinned...and we ask for prayers from Mary, the Angels and Saints...and our brothers and sisters...

Think about that for a second...

You are asking everyone in that church to pray for you...

wait for it...

let it sink in...

....AND they are all asking for your prayers...

yup every single person in that church just asked you to pray for them.

Just think of how powerful this is! You have the prayers of everyone in that church on your side. and you have the great task of praying for your brothers and sisters.

Now just think about how much more powerful this would be if we all actually PAID ATTENTION to the words coming out of our mouths. What if we all actually took a second and prayed for those people who just asked for our prayers after admitting to us that they too are sinners.

When we forget the true meaning of the mass, and the prayers we say at mass it is easy to stop paying attention. I think it is safe to say that we all do it. We all lose focus and we all stop paying attention at one moment or another.

When you "catch yourself" doing that take a second and re-center yourself on what is happening in the mass.

We are all praying with and for each other as one body of Christ with the Holy Spirit present (where 2 or more are gathered...) AND with Jesus present in the body, blood, soul, and divinity...guys we are praying right in front of Jesus in the tabernacle...and later in the mass present right in front of us on the altar...and in our own bodies as we consume the Eucharist.

The power...the glory...

excuse me while I gush for a second about Jesus and get off track...but think about how truly awesome that is! Need help paying attention in mass? Just look at the tabernacle ...right there...right in front of you is Jesus Christ

Now think about saying that prayer for everyone in the church, and everyone saying that prayer for you with Jesus present in the flesh and blood....OH. MY. GOSH.

Can you handle it?

Can you handle how cool that is?

It makes you want to go hop in your car and find another mass doesn't it?

To the Church which was so Welcoming

I spent some time in Mississippi doing some teaching and coursework. While I was there I attended mass at the local Catholic Church. This church knew there were young teachers visiting the area and they reached out to us. They welcomed us every mass, and we were given a little welcoming in the bulletin each week. It was very friendly and it felt so much like home even though it was not actually like the church I attended back home.

This church helped me when a loved one passed away. I reached out to them for a ride to the airport. They were unable to offer me a ride, however they did look up bus information, and offered suggestions for other modes of transportation. It was comforting to know that people who didn't know me were willing to help.

When it was time for the teachers to leave, they offered us a meal together. We ate out and the church paid for the meal. It was as if we were saying good bye to an old friend even though many of us were meeting for the first time.

The church, and its members, made a lasting impact on me. I want to be welcoming like that, I want to be there for someone when they don't know who else to turn to.

To that church, I say thank you, Thank you for being there when I was far away from family in a time of loss. Thank you for making me feel at home in your church. Thank you for showing me that when Christ is present in the Eucharist, I am home. Thank you for being like Christ to me.

Learning to fade for greater glory

I was going to take a nap but it just wasn't happening so here goes...

I like to sing, and I like Jesus; I like to sing for Jesus

It is something I take pleasure in, be it during mass, or during a praise and worship session, or during adoration, I just like it, It fills me with joy...

...I've also grown to like standing out...

I have a unique voice, every human being does, but I've been told that I do and I enjoy that... I enjoy little children sitting in the pew in front of me looking up and saying you have a pretty voice. I enjoy when someone tells my sisters and I that we had a beautiful harmony and asking if we knew we were doing that (answer no we didn't)...I like standing out...I've become vain...and it is this very standing out which has led me on an interesting journey...

If you pray for something be prepared for God to give you a literal answer

One day at mass, I was praying for God to make me an instrument of His peace...who knew that prayer would lead to many much people insisting that I join the choir...what? I had become content with sitting in the congregation, it had been many much years since I was in the children's choir...and also a few years since I actively participated in a mass related ministry...ok ok fine I will do it...

So I am now in a choir and I enjoy it...and I am learning...learning to fade, learning that its ok if no one can pick out my voice from all of the beautiful voices around me, ok if I don't get credit for singing beautifully from small children because there are none around me, ok if I have to discuss that it is difficult for me to actually hold notes for the appropriate amount of time...

...it is ok for my glory to fade because singing is something to do for the glory of God (funny that I'm about to practice singing "Heart of Worship" tonight huh?)

A professor of mine once said that humility is knowing your place...knowing that I can sing fairly well, but that when I am in the choir I am singing for God and not for me...Its a work in progress.

Be prepared...

...for what you pray for.

I've decided (recently) that I do not like the phrase "be careful what you pray for."

It is often used ...for example...when one prays for patience. I get that when you pray for patience you generally are given opportunities to practice patience and therefore become better at it. The problem is no one wants to practice being patient they just want to suddenly be patient...

I know wouldn't that be great...picture it, standing in the check out line at the store. For one reason or another the cashier seems to be obnoxiously slow...and then it happens...their light starts flashing. You hear them explaining something to the customer in front of them. You know whatever this is it requires a supervisor, maybe even a manager, and it will take a long time. You consider switching lines and then wonder if that is rude...afterall you are in the middle of the line its not like you can just sneak out of the end of the line and over to the next register.
...then it hits you...
you prayed for patience yesterday...
well this is what you get...
good job self you prayed for patience and now you are going to be late for your dentist appointment because this line is so slow...

and you become even more irritated...
and you think...well you know what they say: be careful what you pray for.

I don't like it...it is like an excuse to me. I think if you need to pray for something, and think you might need to pray for something...you should pray for it...don't be careful about it...just pray for it...

God knows whats best for you so He'll know if you need it or not...sometimes God's answer is no right? Right. But you should be prepared.

Pray for patience? be prepared to be late.
Pray for guidance? prepare to be led somewhere uncomfortable.
Pray for finances? prepare to be at wits end and solely relying on others.
Pray for God to work through you? prepare to serve others.
Pray for anything at all? prepare to GROW.

Grow in patience, grow in trust, grow in service...be prepared to grow.