Just a Teacher

I worked with a substitute once.
When there weren't any students in the room we chatted a bit. And she asked me a question.

A question which I'm sure was meant to compliment my intelligence...but in all actuality it offended me.

So what's next for you? I'm sure you want to do more than just teaching.

I didn't have a good response at the time...but the more I think about it the more I know exactly what I want to say next time someone asks me.

Oh, but I already do more than "just teaching."

Sure I teach, so that is a giant part of what I do, but in reality I do SO much more than that.

I am a mentor.
officially and otherwise. I have a student I am a mentor to, but I like to think I mentor all of my students, or at least the ones who will open up to me that way. I like to check in with my students and see how they are doing; to check in with their other teachers and see what they need. I give them encouragement to do well in school and try to encourage them to do their best in order to get the most out of life.

I am a shoulder to lean on.
Kids have bad days, its part of life. I am there to comfort them if they will let me, to give them space if that's what they need. To care for them as they can't help but cry in front of their classmates. To welcome a hug or to give a pat on the back. I am the adult there for my students when they need someone to look to for comfort.

I am a momma bear to a sick lil one. 
But really though, I do get called mom on occasion. Remember those days when you got sent to school even though you didn't feel well? You didn't have a fever and mom had to go to work. It wasn't bad enough to stay home...but it wasn't good enough to want to be at school either. I'm there for those kids to acknowledge that they don't feel well. To feel their foreheads and reassure them that they don't have a fever. To let them get a drink of water which feels like liquid gold to a sick child in the middle of the school day. To let them rest their lil heads on the desk when their head is pounding.

I am the relief after your bad weekend.
Kids go through a lot these days. Poverty, parents getting divorced, many worse things. It is a lot for the child, and the weekend can be a nightmare. I have actually heard students saying they didn't want to go home for the weekend; that Friday is weird because it is a fun day of school but that its sad because they cannot come to school on the weekend. On Monday we are back; back to love them, back to entertain them, to make sure they have what they need, to bear the brunt of their anger, to dry their tears. We teachers are there to listen to them, to show patience and mercy, to create a safe place for our kids.

I am a writer.
I write lessons, I write word problems, I write the rules to new board games, and I write legal documents. I am a special educator, my student's educational future is in my hands. I write up 15-18 page legal documents that stay with the student at every school they attend. I have a chance to give them support and service, and to document it in a legally binding document.

I am a creator.
Students learn best when they are engaged. Students are engaged when they think it is fun. I am constantly thinking of new games for my students to use to practice skills that are critical to their progress in the regular education setting. I create ways to make learning addition and subtraction for the 6th month in a row fun again. I create reasons to smile in the middle...or even at the end of the day.

I am an actress.
Teaching is 90% acting. I write my own scripts by writing lesson plans....but life doesn't always go as planned and I end up running improv mode (I am so glad I took an improv class in high school). I am able to think on my feet and work with technology glitches...just today my technology quit working just as I had planned on my students going online...welp time to come up with something new before I lose the interest of my students!

I am a puzzle solver.
Special needs students are like puzzles; no two are alike yet many times the end goal is the same. Five children all need to learn the same math skill by the end of the year, but their brains work in very different ways. I admit it is frustrating in the beginning of the year when it feels like I am making zero progress. This point in the year, however when we are heading right towards, or surpassing mastery is the best thing in the world! Getting to that mastery, that is the puzzle...how can I present the same information in five different ways in order to make it make sense? How can I find where you are getting stuck?

So now I guess I have a much better response to give someone the next time they ask. I am so much more than a teacher.

Why I love being Catholic!

I'm no theologian so correct me if I'm wrong!

So I now live in a strange place where people actually talk about their faith fairly openly. It is strange to me being from a place where you keep your faith to yourself. I guess that is what happens when you move from the land of the blue states to the land of the red states...and to (according to FOX news anyway) the most pro-life state in the country!

Being around people who openly share their faith means that I have encountered people from various Christian denominations. This has been very interesting for me to learn all of the differences between our denominations, and to meet people who share and allow me to share without judgement.

This experience has also led me to a greater appreciation of my own Catholic faith. There are just some things that are so special about our faith.

We know who founded our faith.
Many, many, many people know who founded their denomination. How many of those people can say that the founder was Jesus Christ? We can. Jesus Christ founded our faith when he made Peter the rock of the Church; when he made Peter the first Pope.

Guys! Jesus is our founder! Jesus Christ, our savior, the lover of our souls, the lion and the lamb...guys God Himself is our founder!

Our perspective on Mary is phenomenal
We, like many others believe that Mary is the Mother of God. What is unique about the Catholic faith is the relationship we have with Mary. We believe that Mary wants us to be close to her Son and that she will lead us to Him. We do not worship Mary, but like the saint, we pray to her. We ask her to take our prayers and deliver them to her Son. Who better to bring our prayers to Jesus than his mother?

Jesus comes to Church with us!
We (probably) all know Matthew 18:20 "For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.”
Cool, cool so when we gather and pray Jesus is there. This is very cool, but want to know what is even cooler? 
At the point of the consecration we believe, as Catholics, that the host actually becomes the body, blood, soul and divinity of Jesus Christ.
Guys, do you know what that means? Do you? DO YOU?
It means Jesus is physically present with us at mass. JESUS IS PHYSICALLY THERE! How awesome is that?
Not only is He there, but He loves us so much he lets us consume Him. Guys we eat Jesus, we put Him in our mouths and eat him. Jesus goes inside of us!
WE ARE LIVING TABERNACLES!

We can attend mass anywhere in the world and be able to understand what is going on!
Because we follow the Pope, and we all believe the same thing, we believe in the order of the mass. A Catholic mass will always begin with the liturgy of the word, which is followed by the liturgy of the Eucharist. The mass is filled with scripture, prayers, music, and of course the miracle of bread, water, and wine becoming Jesus Christ. I can go anywhere in the country and participate in the mass. I can go anywhere in the world and know what is happening in the mass even if I do not understand the language. It is wonderful.

Forgiveness
The Catholic faith has seven wonderful sacraments: Baptism, Reconciliation, Communion, Confirmation, Marriage, Holy Orders, and Anointing of the Sick. They are all awesome, but there is something about Reconciliation I want to pinpoint. Reconciliation, or confession, is a unique opportunity we have as Catholics to ask Christ for forgiveness. The priest in confession, works in persona Christi, which means in the person of Christ. This means we come before Christ to ask for forgiveness, and He gives it to us. Guys Christ really forgives us and we know because we are absolved of our sins. We don't have to wonder "did God forgive me for that, I mean I asked him in prayer but I'm just not sure if he granted forgiveness." We know because in the sacrament of confession, we are forgiven by the priest who is acting in the person of Christ. Christ works through that priest to forgive us! Whoah.

So those are a few of the reasons why I love my faith. I do truly enjoy learning about other people's faiths, and am often inspired by the strength of their faith, but I deeply love love love my faith. I love being a Catholic! This was a long post, perhaps I should have named it "Five Reasons Why I Love Being Catholic," seeing as we are now in a culture of lists. If you made it to the end of this post I give you mad props, and hope to see you in Church sometime!

The new girl in church

I've always been part of a church group...First I went to the Catholic school, and went to Children's Liturgy every Sunday...then CCD...the Youth Group...the a super duper Catholic college with many opportunities to be part of  a faith based group, households (kinda like sororities), ministries, mission trips, shoot we talked about God at work and in class...the companionship was everywhere...

but now...I'm the new girl...

er well I really shouldn't be the new girl anymore...

I moved here in August...and found a church I like enough to go to consistently about ummmm maybe 3 months ago...

...and I can count the number of times someone has spoken to me after church on one hand....and it was either an older woman or a small child...not a single person my own age...

This I am finding to be a problem in our church...think about it...how often do  you actually look around and talk to the people you don't know after mass? I bet it isn't too often.

We are regulars, we sit in our regular spots, talk to our regular friends and that's about it

Straight up it. We come we pray we talk to people we already know and we leave...

...but I have no one to talk to ...so I go to church, I pray, I leave...slowly walking out of the pew...hoping someone will talk to me...

I love love love my faith, don't get  me wrong, but the way we as Catholics interact with each other is disappointing..if we are all one body in Christ...why don't we speak to each other?

Think about it the next time you're in church...that person who always comes to mass alone? Say hello to them...really just a hello is all it takes to reach out to the new person in church.

Students who are secretly sweet

If you are a teacher, someone who works with kids, or someone who works with human beings in general, you know there are those students who are difficult to work with. It is a matter of life.

The important thing is that we work with them.

Don't give up on them.

And whatever you do, don't stop looking at and for the good in them.

Because when you see that goodness it can brighten your day tremendously.

I've had rough days with my students. I really have, but they are MY students and WE work together.

So teachers have rewards systems right? Right.

Well one of my many rewards systems is item based, the students get items in return for good behavior...the length of the good behavior determines the size of the prize.

I saw a broken half of one of those prizes being used by another student: one not on this particular rewards system...My kind and loving self immediately assumed the student had shared their prize...but I asked  to be sure...

Well I had a short conversation with my student about the prize and of course they denied sharing (because let's be honest sharing just isn't "cool"). They asked why I wanted to know. My response what that if they had shared it would be a very nice thing and that would be very cool of them.

So we moved on with our lesson as usual...and a few minutes later...quietly and quickly my student said that they shared it.

I WAS SO EXCITED...but of course I tried really hard not to show it...too much excitement just isn't cool...and I praised this student for doing such a good thing...

That moment reminded me that underneath the "too cool" exterior lies a sweet little kid trying to find their way in the world: a vulnerable human being who needs to be loved.

It is so important not to focus too much on the poor behavior of the students. I know this is a struggle, I know it is difficult, but it is so, so, so, so, important for our children. These moments are our opportunities to show the students how much we care about them. It is our opportunity to give our students some praise: to let them hear the words "good job" ABOUT SOMETHING THAT THEY DID.

It gives them something to be proud of...even if they keep it a secret...

Pray the hardest...

...when it is hardest to pray

I take no credit for that phrase, I have no idea where it came from, and I'm sure we all know it.

I was thinking about this today...and all of the pictures that I usually see with this phrase are of a time of trial, or of something difficult, or of someone crying.

I thought some more...I typically associated this phrase with make sure you pray when you are going through something difficult. Almost as if it was a rule...something is tough: time to pray.

And then I thought...

But it isn't difficult for me to pray when something is wrong.

That is when I do most of my praying actually.

Remember that prayer is a conversation.

It is easy for me to pray when a loved one is sick, it is easy for me to remember to pray when I am sad, it is easy for me to turn to God when I am hurt or lonely. It is not difficult for me to say "What the heck God? I mean I know you have a plan but what does this have to do with it?" -great prayer right? I know...but it is a conversation with God...

Oh I talk to God all the time when I need help.

...it is when things are going well that I forget to talk to God

That is right...it is hardest for me to pray when everything is right with the world and I couldn't be happier.

Things are going well, I'm happy, I can pay my bills, I have no issues...I forget to pray...I don't have any questions for God, I don't think (think being the key word there) I need any guidance from God, I think I've got it all straight for a little while....and I don't talk to God about that.

I don't say "Hey God, you know what? This month I paid all of my bills on time, thanks for your help on that" or "Hey God, these new friends I've got are pretty great" or "Wow God, you're an amazing artist that sunset today was just perfect"

Then something happens to make my world fall apart and I go running back to God...God make it better...fix this boo boo...help me out...

and because God is so loving he welcomes me back into his arms and makes it better...

...There is not a person on this earth (to my knowledge anyway) who would truly do that...what kind of friend would stick around when they only see you when you're in trouble? what kind of relative would wipe away your tears time and time again without ever seeing your smile? ...There is no one I know of who is as accepting of our broken selves as God is....

...but I know I at least need to be a better friend to God...I need to remember that when I am happy I should tell God about it...just a simple...Hey God this really cool thing happened to me today and I had a pretty good day, I know where I'm at right now is somehow worked into you're plan for me and I'm excited to see where that goes.

So maybe for me the phrase shouldn't be coupled with pictures of strangers crying or symbols meant to represent a hard time...maybe the phrase still applies to me, but in the opposite of the way most people take it...how does it apply to you?

The Part-Time Problem

I've been saying I was going to write this post for a while...and my brain is just done with teacher things for the moment so here it goes...

When I say I was going to write this a while ago...I mean I was going to write this before I had a full time job...because I was experiencing the part-time problem...

You get out of college...YAY I GRADUATED....you think...NOW I'M GOING TO GET A REAL JOB AND MOVE OUT OF MY MOM'S HOUSE AND BUY A CAR AND BUY MY OWN GROCERIES AND DECLARE MYSELF INDEPENDENT ON MY TAXES...and many more wonderful thoughts...

But the job market stinks
And you don't have enough money to move all of your belongings
or buy the car needed to move your belongings

so you move back in with mom...

there is no shame in this. You are not a failure because you have to move back in with mom...but you do need to be doing something with your life...

so you continue to apply for jobs and look for jobs and find something that relates moderately to your degree...COME ON THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING...but there really isn't...

so you go part time...those loans will need to be repaid eventually...and that phone bill needs to be paid now...sooo you start filling out part time applications...until one day it happens

you get an interview...

you are so overqualified for the job and yet (for some strange reason) still willing to work for minimum wage...that you get hired right then and there...YAY YOU'RE EMPLOYED...part time...at minimum wage...doing something a high schooler could do...

but you are grateful for this job...its just for now...right? ya, just for now.

You go to work.
You hate it.
You come home.
You research jobs that actually relate to your degree...

you get discouraged

Eventually you just stop looking for jobs...I've got this for now...just for now...and in the spring when the rest of the world graduates and people are actually looking for new grads I'll look for a job again...

you've become comfortable in the part time world...sure you hate your job, but you've convinced yourself that it is only temporary...even though every minute it feels more and more permanent...you feel more and more trapped...but it is ok...because you've got a degree...right? I mean, you'll get out of this somehow...

This is the problem...becoming comfortable...giving up...working part time...YOU HAVE A DEGREE...If you couldn't tell all of the you's ...refer to me...I did those things...I HAVE A DEGREE...and it was really dang hard to do anything with it...

It is discouraging to look for a job and that is a huge part of the problem...

People just get stuck...they feel like there is no way out so they do something they hate just to make not enough money to pay off the large sums of debt they've accrued during college...

do I have an answer? Nope definitely not...I cannot change the job market...nor do I have any money to give you to get you started...all I can say is this...

DON'T GIVE UP

I know it stinks to be turned down...but eventually you'll find a job...yup starting off is hard...you'll be pretty poor...I mean, I'm planning on eating Ramen for the rest of my life at this point...but it can be done...just keep looking...keep working...but keep looking...don't be comfortable...part time is not where you belong...keep trying...

My Grown Up Adventure

THIS POST IS LONG!

So many of you know I am on a big big giant adventure...from the northity north, to the southity south...and I know there are many of you who are wondering what the heck is going on in my life...well here we go...

Ok so at the beginning of June I hopped on a plane and moved to the south...I spent a week on a gorgeous college campus exploring my new home. I attended many events, business and social...AND I GOT HIRED! I have a big girl job now.

I am a resource room teacher for K-5 at a public elementary school...school starts mid August and I'm excited...yet nervous as most first year teachers are. I've seen my classroom and oh man the windows! I've got a room with a view!

After that week I spent five weeks in the boondocks of Mississippi teaching little children how to school.

I would walk around campus on a very hot day and smell pine needles...couldn't figure out where they were coming from though...until one day I looked down. The campus used pine needles as mulch! which both smelled great and made me think of my old bosses on the grounds crew!

I witnessed the Mosquito Truck...yes a truck that drives around campus at least twice a day spewing pesticides...gross...very gross...but it kept the annoying bugs to an average amount...except when it pushed them inside...I got more bites inside the cafeteria than I did anywhere else! It was insane!

Oh and the cafeteria...if you like fried chicken Mississippi is the place to go...fried chicken and pork was the basic food...yes, I did pretend to be a vegetarian a few times because the food was just different and it was nice to change it up a little.

By the end of my time there, I had gotten to the point where I thought that 88 degrees at sunset was a perfectly reasonable temperature for a run. I can run in high temperatures with pretty dang high humidity levels and not die...I've made it  up to a half hour of running! I haven't had time to run lately but I'm pretty excited about my progress thus far.

I traveled almost every weekend I was there. I went ...well I went to my old home...I went to Memphis, I went to other places in Mississippi, I went back to my new home to try and find a home, I went to Jackson Mississippi. In one week I saw the Mississippi River from three different states! It was such a cool experience.

It was a jam packed five weeks in Mississippi...but now I'm back to my new home...I am doing a bunch of paperwork, looking for an apartment and trying to buy a car...look at me guys! I'm a real adult...ok well I'm trying to be a real adult...I'm thankful for all the people helping me to do it!

I'm learning a lot about living in the South. I'm starting to remember to say yes ma'am and yes sir...and to expect to be called ma'am. What I consider the boondocks is actually the town...the country is further out...30 minutes is not a far drive anywhere...20 minutes is the perfect distance...I speak too fast, and should expect to have the longest small talk conversations I've ever had in my life...making eye contact on the sidewalk does not mean you want to fight...talking about God with perfect strangers is a normal thing...and many many more...

It certainly is an adventure, and I'm taking it one step at a time...wish me luck and pray for my journey!