Proactive vs. Reactive

I can still remember my high school history teacher (yup all of history you name it, I learned it from him US I, US II, World, Economics...the whole shabang) anyway I remember him telling our class about the difference between being proactive and being reactive.

being reactive...

Well that's a bad thing. Being reactive...as you can imagine...means to simply react to whatever comes your way. If something bad happens, you complain, you find as many people as you can to tell whats wrong...but you never do anything to fix the problem. You simply complain and expect the world to feel bad for you, and fix it for you.

well that doesn't help anyone. The world gets sick of hearing you complain. They don't want to constantly hear your problems, nor can they necessarily help you. Sometimes....well most times...it is better to be proactive...

Being proactive...

Am I a pro at this...NO...for sure not, but I try to do it just the same. Being proactive means that you try to do something about your problem. Instead of complaining about it you attempt to solve the problem; you keep trying to move forward.

I have had a LOT of stress causing issues this week. I cannot find a job for the summer: so much rejection. I cannot have the job I wan for next semester: more rejection. I cannot figure out how I am going to pay for my summer course...not a clue. I have 2 of my 5 PRAXIS exams on Saturday...it's like "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader" with my teaching license on the line...big stuff. It's just been a tough week.

Is it hard for me to stay proactive. Of course, but it's something I want to do.

So now what?

Now I keep looking for a job for the summer. Maybe the less desirable ones, but something, anything to pay the bills (speaking of which...if you live in the same area as me...know anyone hiring?). I'll call child care centers, part time places, grocery stores, heck I even called Parks and Recreation (they said call back later in the month). I keep moving forward.

Do I want to crawl in a corner and do nothing for about three days? Well ya, but will my problems go away? Nope, they will still be there when I come out of the black hole, so why go into it in the first place?

There are three more on campus jobs I can apply for for next semester, I will be looking into those.

Financial aid? I have a meeting tomorrow.

So thank-you, to my high school teacher, for showing me something that is useful to me four years later, and will be useful for the rest of my life, who knew that one "hidden curriculum" lesson would be such an important part of my life.

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Wake up/Music/work/music/coffee break/work/lunch/work/class/dinner/night class/homework/music/sleep/
wake up/music/breakfast/talking/class/lunch/tutoring/homework/music/class/dinner/homework/rosary/
homework/music/sleep/wake up/music/work/coffee break/work/lunch/work/music/book club/music/dinner/
homework/laundry/intercessions/homework/sleep/wake up/music/breakfast/talking/lunch/tutoring/homework/
music/sleep/wake up/work/coffee break/work/lunch/change/talking/cleaning/music/mass/dinner/hang out/
sleep

This is a typical Monday-Friday in my life this semester. It is pretty much non-stop.

I am constantly moving from one thing to another. If I'm  not at work, I'm in class or doing homework. Don't forget to add household commitments! There is also keeping up with life in the apartment, and the consistent urge to hang out and socialize.

Spare time?

What is that?

I guess when I have it I fill up my spare time with activities. That new drawing I wanted to work on. Practicing singing that new song. Running, running, running.

Almost everything thing I do, I do to music. I do homework to music. I listen to music as I drive the work truck around campus. I sing in the shower. I listen to music while I draw. I clean to music. I run to music. I'm listening to music as I write this blog post.

Noise. 
Noise.
Noise.
Noise.
Noise.  

I fill my life with so much noise, so much chaos, and so much stuff. Why? Well I enjoy it. I love to listen to some blink-182, some System of a Down, All American Rejects, Green Day, The Benjy Davis Project, The Format, Modest Mouse, Sara Bareilles, Michael Buble, Rise Against, Sum 41, The Academy is...
Noise.
Noise.
Noise.
Noise.
Noise.

SHHHHHHHHHHH. Quiet is good too!

It took a little while for me to figure it out. What I could do to make my life seem a little less busy. Every now and then, I just have to be quiet. I just need to take some time and sit in silence (well I mean I live with other people so probably just quiet and not silence). I just need to give my ears a break. I need to give my mind a second to process. Take a break, just sit there, and think.

I never really knew the value of quiet. I come from a large family. Quiet usually means that something is broken or someone is broken. Quiet means something is wrong. I've come to learn that as an adult, quiet is a beautiful thing, it is personal time. It is thoughts no one can take away. It is a second to breathe!

try it. Stop what you are doing, yes stop reading this post right now. pause that music. put your phone away. just sit there. Enjoy a second to yourself.
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How was it? do you feel better now? Maybe a little more relaxed? It's pleasant isn't it? you don't have someone else's thoughts being pumped into your mind. You can just focus on you, your thoughts, your needs, and your time. It's good right?

Christian Single

Oh my goodness I'm still single? How long am I going to have to wait for a man to step up and sweep me off my feet? When will my future husband come along and show me who he is? When will someone here be a MAN? Oh man I'm a senior, if I want my MRS. degree I better get a boyfriend NOW!

Yes, I am a single woman living in a Christian world. Yes, I've felt like the above questions before (well ok the MRS. degree is a bit of an exaggeration), so many of us have. I, like so many women, seek a relationship with a kind, loving, strong, Christian man. I long to be with my husband, and I do indeed long for that intimacy between a husband and a wife. It is only natural.

Do my desires for a relationship mean I sit around moping about the fact that I am single? No, certainly not. Does it mean I give in to the "senior shuffle" and try to find a boyfriend before graduation? No. It also doesn't mean that I measure my worth based on my relationship status, or on whether or not men find me attractive.

I embrace my current status as single.

I know, you're thinking "what does that even mean?"

Well lets start with a few weeks ago I read a blog post written by one of my good friends. At the time I thought she made some rather good points and then I just moved on. Well this post came back into my thoughts recently, particularly the part she brought up about how hard it is to use self control once you find your "other half."

Think about it, if you want intimacy now and you're not in a relationship, how much harder is it going to be when you are in a relationship? So much harder! The desire will become much stronger, the temptations will be harder to fight, and limits will NEED to be set. Now this does not mean that I am afraid of being in a relationship because of the challenge. What it means is that I can take this time to prepare myself for a relationship. I can take this time to pray for my husband, and to dive deeper into my faith. I can also take this time to learn more about myself and to become more mature.

I am  in college still, I am young! I also have learned something about myself: I am extremely independent. I can't help it, I need to figure things out for myself. Being single makes me able to do this. I can decide what I want to do for a living, where I want to go, and what kind of job I will apply for. If I was financially able to, I seriously considered two years of volunteer work on the Mercy Ships in Africa. Now finances may hold me back, but getting settled in an area with my boyfriend/fiance/husband will not because I don't have one. I like this. I like being able to do what I want and be in control.

If a valid relationship presents itself will I consider it? Yes, but not because I am lonely, or to attempt to fill some "void" created because of my singleness. I would consider it if I felt the relationship could go somewhere. Does it mean I would marry the next person I go on a date with? Just because I want to get married does not mean I will only date someone I "know" I am going to marry some day. How can you even know that if you haven't been on a single date?

I feel like many Christian women are so focused on marriage, that they skip the dating part. Going on a date does not mean you are getting married. If you are hearing wedding bells on your first date, you may want to get your ears checked. WAKE UP LADIES! One date is not an indication of what married life will be like. Married life is a wonderful beautiful thing, but I am not ready for it yet!

In the meantime I will wait, at times not so patiently, for the right man. I will be open to dating, but will not consider a great first date a reason to marry a man. I will also not lower my standards. I know what is important to me, and I will not settle for less simply to have a boyfriend. I will consider my emotions, and the emotions of the men I interact with on a regular basis (if you won't date him, why flirt with him?). And I certainly will not think any less of myself because I am single. And neither should you :)

Don't just say it, pray it!

I've been to many masses in my day, and I've noticed something. People, including myself, tend to just say the prayers of the mass. It becomes rehearsed, memorized, boring.

Take a second. Think about what you are saying...

"I believe in..."
"Thy will be done..."
"pray for us sinners..."
"Peace be with you."

Do you mean these things? Do you just say them because you are supposed to?

I've caught myself just saying the words because it was time to. It was that part of the mass, or that part of the prayer meeting, where I am supposed to say something. It's a terrible thing to notice. Wait, wait, what did I even say? Oh snap I didn't even realize those words came out of my mouth.

It's times like those I need to redirect my attention back to the prayers that I am saying. I need to take a second, remember where I am and pay attention to the words that are coming out of my mouth. I need to not only pay attention to the words I'm saying, but I need to MEAN WHAT I SAY! I need to realize that the prayers I am saying are part of my faith, and reciting them is important to my faith. It is important to believe what I am saying.

Next time you are praying, take a second to pay attention to what you are saying.

A week at my sister's

So it's spring break! wooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

I'm spending the week at my sister and brother in law's new place! It's great to see them :)

Together the three of us are learning how to cook gluten-free style. I'm okay at cooking, I know a few things and have lived in an apartment for a semester and a half now, but my gluten free skills are limited. Before this week I made gluten free pancakes...this week is a learning adventure for all of us.

Here are a few of the things we've made.

Gluten free pizza.

We made this using Bob's Red Mill Gluten Free Pizza Crust mix. We followed the directions on the bag to make the crust, although if you do this make sure you don't accidentally make cinnamon rolls (the mix can also make that). When they say using wet hands to spread the dough, they really mean dripping wet. Water on your hands for this mix works like flour with normal dough. Then just use tomato sauce or paste for the sauce, your favorite cheese, and toppings and you're good to go, a yummy pizza!

Gluten free breaded pork chops

I know what you're thinking, breaded pork chops that are gluten free? That isn't possible!

Well it's actually really easy! All you have to do is use tater tots for bread!

First put tater tots on a tray (the amount needed depends on how many pork chops...overestimate just in case) Cook those according to the directions on the package. Take them out, and mush them into a bowl. Yes mush them, break them apart into little pieces. The outsides will be crispy and the insides, well not so much, but that's okay because they will be crispy the second bake around. Soak the raw pork in water for about ten minutes while you perform the next step, this will prevent dry pork. Next choose your favorite spices, we used a chipotle mix which was delicious. Season the tater tots to taste.

After ten minutes drain the pork. Scramble some eggs, this will help the tots stick to the meat. Put some cooking spray on the baking tray (you'll thank me for this later), it doesn't matter which kind. Dip the chops (one at a time) in the eggs, and then place them on the baking tray. Because its tater tots and not bread we couldn't get the tots to stick to the pork by dipping the raw meat in the mush. To solve this problem we just scooped the mush onto the top of the pork chops. Put the chops in the oven and time it according to what size chops you have (we had thin chops, so we baked them at 425 for 35 minutes).

We also had rice which we started when there was 20 minutes left, and corn when there was 5 minutes left. When the time is up take your pork out of the oven, put a piece on a plate, add a few side dishes, pour out some apple sauce and ta-da a yummy pork dinner without any gluten!

Gluten Free Tacos
(use corn shells and NOT flour tortillas!)

We made tacos. That's super easy! Brown some ground beef, the higher the % of fat the juicer the meat, the higher the % lean, the less juicy (and probably healthier) the meat. If you are going to warm your taco shells in the oven the best time would probably be right before you add the spices (if you have a taco kit follow the heating instructions, if not a low temperature for a short period of time works just fine).When the meat is brown throw in your spices. We used the chipotle spice from our pork and chili powder, and salt and pepper. If you get a taco kit it will come with mix. Stir in the spice. Once the spices are mixed your meat is ready to go. Prepare your tacos for eating using the beef, and any other toppings you want (lettuce, tomatoes  onions, cheese sauce etc.) Enjoy

(no picture of tacos)

Yummy bbq chicken!

it's way easier than you would think to make delicious bbq chicken! Step one get some chicken, if it's frozen, thaw it out. Once it is thaw put it on a cutting board. Stab the heck out of that thing. To stab it you can use a knife and then a fork. Now it should still resemble the piece of chicken you started with but just the same put a lot of holes in it for the flavor to soak into. Put bbq sauce of your choice in a zip-lock bag. Put the chicken in the bag with the sauce. Add some water, not too much but just enough to help the sauce sink into the chicken. Put your bag-o-chicken in the fridge for about an hour. At this point you should probably look up the appropriate cooking temperature/ time for your slab of chicken. (For chicken breast cook at 375 for 45 minutes). Plan accordingly! After about 45 minutes of the chicken being in the fridge pre-heat the oven. Bake the chicken. Think ahead about your sides. I did rice again (let's be honest it's fairly easy) and peas. Take your chicken out of the oven. Cut it to make sure it is cooked all the way. If not, cook for another five minutes and check again (but don't wait too long or you will dry out the chicken!).

Sorry no picture of this yummy one, but hey who knew these tasty treats were gluten free?!?

A "good" cry

What is this thing other girls talk about...the good cry?

I don't understand it, I hate crying. For me crying just results in puffy eyelids and a bloody nose.

I was talking to a guy friend of mine about this. We don't understand. I've heard there is some benefit...psychological maybe?

I read an article, er let's be honest...part of an article...about crying. It says that when you cry emotional tears (vs. reflex tears) toxins and stress hormones are released from your body. It helps us to release stress from our systems. It cannot take the cause of the stress out, but can provide a momentary relief.

I can understand the relief caused by releasing stress hormones, I mean those are nasty things. But instead of that stress, I am left with a headache and a lot of explaining to do. If someone finds out that you were crying, they want to know why and I don't usually feel like explaining myself. That just brings the stress right back! I don't like it, not one bit. Isn't there a better way to release those stress hormones?

A different article suggests that exercise allows the body to produce more endorphin's  and less stress hormones. I don't know about you, but I much prefer exercising to crying.

What do you think? Is there such a thing as a good cry? I'd love to read your opinion!

I am not worthy

"Lord I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed."

Take a second to think about this. As Catholics we say this phrase at mass, when we are preparing for communion. This is the newest translation of this phrase, and the one we use today. Not too long ago the phrase was "Lord I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be healed."

When I was little (and using the old translation) I used to think that it meant if my body wasn't well, it would be healed when I received the Eucharist. "Only say the word and I shall be healed." I thought "Lord if you say the word...whatever that word is...I won't be sick anymore. If you say that word Lord, I'll be all good. If I am sick my body isn't good enough so you can say the word and fix that."

What a silly little girl I was. Jesus doesn't mind if we are sick!

I like the new translation of the phrase.  "I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof..."

At first I was like...what am I now, a house? I just wasn't sure that I liked this new translation even though it was closer to the original wording. Why does my roof matter?

Think about your life. We are all sinners, as unfortunate as that is, it's true. Our lives are messy! Now think about a house. It could be clean, but it is natural for a house to get messy sometimes. Would you want to have a visit from God if your house was messy? I know I wouldn't! I would spend the whole visit apologizing for the mess and trying to secretly clean as we went. Maybe if we ate I would was a few more dishes than we used and hope He didn't notice.

Now if your life is a house, and sin is clutter and mess, dust and filth, would you want God to come into a messy house? We admit in this phrase that we sin; that we are messy. No matter how hard I try, I know there is sinful clutter in my life. I am a sinner, God is, well, God. I am not worthy that that should receive the body, blood, soul, and divinity of Jesus Christ, my perfect savior, into my own body and life. 

"...but only say the word and my soul shall be healed." 

I like the new emphasis on my soul, in fact I have unintentionally gained the habit of putting emphasis on these words when I say the phrase at mass. This is where I was confused as a child. What is being healed? Your soul.

Christ can heal you! He can help you fight the temptations in your life. With just His word He can save you. Christ can help you clear out that clutter, that sin, that filth, those things standing in the way of you spending time with God. By saying this phrase we are asking for this help; for this healing. 

So when you put the two parts back together...

"Lord I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed."

...you are saying "Christ I am a sinner, I fill my life with sin and give into temptation, but with your help, my soul will be clean."

Think about it the next time you are at mass. Don't just say the words, pray them. Talk to God and ask him for help!