A long time ago I wrote a blog post called Pray the hardest... about the phrase "pray hardest when it's hardest to pray." I didn't find it hard to pray in difficult circumstances at the time but I think I have a new understanding.
It is TERRIFYING to pray for a miracle, to need a miracle, knowing that you might not get one.
Let's back up for a second. Yes, God has the power to do anything, and I firmly believe that he can perform the miracle that you or I pray for. I have no doubt in that!
Where the fear, worry, and anxiety set in is where I know God has the power to do what I so desperately want Him to do for me, but it might not be His will.
Knowing, believing and trusting in God can be a roller coaster ride. For me, trusting can be like the first big drop on a roller coaster. You know, the one that looks like its practically a 90 degree angle? The one where you're really hoping the people who welded the coaster together, and fit the seats and the buckles and everything together actually knew what they were doing? Where you go, oh shoot! was there an inspection sticker? How long has it been since this has been inspected? Will I survive?
Yeah, trusting God can be like that for me sometimes. Like I know He has a plan and I know it is better than mine but sometimes I really just want His will to be exactly what my will is. I want a miracle.
Yet, in the same breath, every Sunday as I say the Lord's Prayer in church I pray these three words
Thy will be done...
God's will may not be the same as mine.
He might not will for me to get a promotion, to do a certain thing, to feel a certain thing...
He might will that something else happens, that I go a different direction, that someone else needs that thing, or even that it is time for a loved one to go home to Him in Heaven.
This, I feel, is often why many people have questions. If God could save them, why didn't He? Why is life so difficult? Why am I in this situation?
The is often glory and beauty in the struggle. There could also be someone waiting for you to let them help you. Honestly, I'm sure it depends on the situation and I'm no expert here for sure. I too, am learning as I go.
I have experienced glory in trial, I have seen people turn towards God who otherwise wouldn't. I have pushed through something thinking I was trusting God until I ran out of options and then BOOM God came through. I've also been given the answer of no, or not yet to my prayers and have/am working really hard to see the glory in that.
God's plan is good, we have to trust in that. We may be riding the roller coaster, but He is there; watching and waiting for the moment that we slow down and see Him. Don't give up because you are scared. Trust that His plan is great though it may be difficult to see at this moment.
Fun new disclaimer!
This blog and the posts contained within may or may not reflect the views/beliefs of my employer.
