I was going to take a nap but it just wasn't happening so here goes...
I like to sing, and I like Jesus; I like to sing for Jesus
It is something I take pleasure in, be it during mass, or during a praise and worship session, or during adoration, I just like it, It fills me with joy...
...I've also grown to like standing out...
I have a unique voice, every human being does, but I've been told that I do and I enjoy that... I enjoy little children sitting in the pew in front of me looking up and saying you have a pretty voice. I enjoy when someone tells my sisters and I that we had a beautiful harmony and asking if we knew we were doing that (answer no we didn't)...I like standing out...I've become vain...and it is this very standing out which has led me on an interesting journey...
If you pray for something be prepared for God to give you a literal answer
One day at mass, I was praying for God to make me an instrument of His peace...who knew that prayer would lead to many much people insisting that I join the choir...what? I had become content with sitting in the congregation, it had been many much years since I was in the children's choir...and also a few years since I actively participated in a mass related ministry...ok ok fine I will do it...
So I am now in a choir and I enjoy it...and I am learning...learning to fade, learning that its ok if no one can pick out my voice from all of the beautiful voices around me, ok if I don't get credit for singing beautifully from small children because there are none around me, ok if I have to discuss that it is difficult for me to actually hold notes for the appropriate amount of time...
...it is ok for my glory to fade because singing is something to do for the glory of God (funny that I'm about to practice singing "Heart of Worship" tonight huh?)
A professor of mine once said that humility is knowing your place...knowing that I can sing fairly well, but that when I am in the choir I am singing for God and not for me...Its a work in progress.
