This is what I want to do.
Why you ask? Why wouldn't I want to teach in a Catholic school, I mean lets be honest you went to a very Catholic college...so why not be a Catholic school teacher?
It is simple...they don't need me.
I mean yes they need teachers...but the students in public schools need me in a different kind of way.
It is hard, indeed, to be a Catholic teacher in a public school. Don't get me wrong. All of my actual teaching experiences so far have been in public schools.
You cannot teach your faith, you cannot speak up about certain things that you believe to be wrong and society believes to be right. And what happens during that moment when one of your little ones does start talking about the faith?
It is DIFFICULT...but it can be so rewarding.
Public schools...they have a lot of poor kids right? Depends on where you live...but the schools I want to teach in do indeed have plenty of examples of poverty.
A student over here doesn't have a bed; not even a mattress. This one isn't eating properly because mom can't afford it. This one's water has been turned off...and this one's electricity. These students are on the adopt a family list and if no one steps up it will be a disappointing Christmas morning for them.
Heartbreak...sadness...all you want to do is adopt every single one of them right? but you can't....but you can have hope...
How? How can there be hope with such sadness?
Because, with God all things are possible.
Because with God there is hope...even if I cannot directly help those students after they leave my classroom, I can pray for them. I can ask God to watch over them. I can pray that someone is put in their path that CAN help them financially, even though I cannot.
I cannot tell them I am praying for them, they may never find out, because we are in a public school, but I will pray for them. Students in a Catholic school...the way I see it, they're covered...they are in the good hands of their teachers already...Students in a public school though, they are the ones I want to help.
Sunday, December 29, 2013
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Poverty is not a Cycle...
IT IS A CHALLENGE!
Let's talk about poverty for a second here...Many people you would not expect are living well below the poverty level...I did for a good chunk of my life...yup that's right...but this post isn't about me (you could read about me in a different post)...its about the way the world views poverty...
Now I know that the cycle of poverty is a real thing...very real indeed...but it doesn't have to be...
We talk about the cycle, we are taught about the cycle, and we hear about the cycle again and again and again...A poor family receives aid from the government; they begin to rely on it too heavily...and then they have kids who learn to do the same...
Well OK I get that...their families teach them it is ok to live off of the government's aid and be poor for the rest of their lives...So now the cycle is taking over...but...but ... but IT DOESN'T HAVE TO
First things first...there are families, who although considered poor by every label any research has ever dished out manage to live life normally...Now your normally and my normally are potentially different...So maybe the heat doesn't get turned on until the temperature outside is very cold...maybe name brand is something unheard of...maybe hand-me-downs and bags of clothes from random people are thought of as the best thing in the world...but hey those aren't the worst things in the world
These families carry themselves normally and do not mope about their financial situation. They are proactive and find as many solutions as they can to their problems rather than complaining, moping and burdening their children with their financial problems. Heck in some of these families, the kids don't even realize they are poor...these families care; they stress the importance of education and hard work. A little hard work can go a long way. These families are what we call resilient.
What about families that aren't resilient you ask? Those who don't know how to stress the importance of getting out of poverty before it can become a cycle? Those families who need someone to tell them that they can break the cycle?
There it is...THEY NEED SOMEONE TO TELL THEM THAT THEY CAN BREAK THE CYCLE
Why is the cycle so prevalent in today's society? Well sure because there is quite the build up of generation after generation after generation of poverty in some of these families...the kids don't know any better...someone needs to tell them they can get out...
someone needs to BELIEVE in them
The cycle can indeed be broken...is it hard to do? Oh yes it is a challenge for sure! ...but it can be done.
Someone needs to show these kids that it is worth it to work towards a better life. They are stuck in the illusion that they don't need to work because the government gives them enough to live off of...I mean who wouldn't love to live for free...but is that really all there is to life? A limited budget, government housing, maybe a part time job to get extra groceries? There can be so much more with a little work...sure the beginning will be difficult...and hard...but in the long run they will be earning their own money and living in their own apartments or houses and buying their own food, and who knows maybe able to help other people.
Kids need someone in their life to show them that work can be a good thing. That there are jobs people actually like doing. They just need to explore their interests...what? People would actually pay me to do something I like? Yes, yes they will.
Can you be that person? Can you go out into the world, and in some small way inspire someone? Can you show them that there is more? That reading and learning are useful? That working is rewarding? Can you?
Let's talk about poverty for a second here...Many people you would not expect are living well below the poverty level...I did for a good chunk of my life...yup that's right...but this post isn't about me (you could read about me in a different post)...its about the way the world views poverty...
Now I know that the cycle of poverty is a real thing...very real indeed...but it doesn't have to be...
We talk about the cycle, we are taught about the cycle, and we hear about the cycle again and again and again...A poor family receives aid from the government; they begin to rely on it too heavily...and then they have kids who learn to do the same...
Well OK I get that...their families teach them it is ok to live off of the government's aid and be poor for the rest of their lives...So now the cycle is taking over...but...but ... but IT DOESN'T HAVE TO
First things first...there are families, who although considered poor by every label any research has ever dished out manage to live life normally...Now your normally and my normally are potentially different...So maybe the heat doesn't get turned on until the temperature outside is very cold...maybe name brand is something unheard of...maybe hand-me-downs and bags of clothes from random people are thought of as the best thing in the world...but hey those aren't the worst things in the world
These families carry themselves normally and do not mope about their financial situation. They are proactive and find as many solutions as they can to their problems rather than complaining, moping and burdening their children with their financial problems. Heck in some of these families, the kids don't even realize they are poor...these families care; they stress the importance of education and hard work. A little hard work can go a long way. These families are what we call resilient.
What about families that aren't resilient you ask? Those who don't know how to stress the importance of getting out of poverty before it can become a cycle? Those families who need someone to tell them that they can break the cycle?
There it is...THEY NEED SOMEONE TO TELL THEM THAT THEY CAN BREAK THE CYCLE
Why is the cycle so prevalent in today's society? Well sure because there is quite the build up of generation after generation after generation of poverty in some of these families...the kids don't know any better...someone needs to tell them they can get out...
someone needs to BELIEVE in them
The cycle can indeed be broken...is it hard to do? Oh yes it is a challenge for sure! ...but it can be done.
Someone needs to show these kids that it is worth it to work towards a better life. They are stuck in the illusion that they don't need to work because the government gives them enough to live off of...I mean who wouldn't love to live for free...but is that really all there is to life? A limited budget, government housing, maybe a part time job to get extra groceries? There can be so much more with a little work...sure the beginning will be difficult...and hard...but in the long run they will be earning their own money and living in their own apartments or houses and buying their own food, and who knows maybe able to help other people.
Kids need someone in their life to show them that work can be a good thing. That there are jobs people actually like doing. They just need to explore their interests...what? People would actually pay me to do something I like? Yes, yes they will.
Can you be that person? Can you go out into the world, and in some small way inspire someone? Can you show them that there is more? That reading and learning are useful? That working is rewarding? Can you?
Friday, December 6, 2013
Take my Heart Lord
So I'm packing up my apartment because I finished college and it is time for me to move out!!!
While going through things and deciding what I actually need to keep I found this which I wrote as a song in high school...I wrote it to be a song, but can only remember how the chorus was supposed to sound...here goes
While going through things and deciding what I actually need to keep I found this which I wrote as a song in high school...I wrote it to be a song, but can only remember how the chorus was supposed to sound...here goes
Take my Heart Lord
Take my heart Lord
And do with it what you will.
I am yours Lord,
All of me may you fill
Let me grow
Teach me to show
Your glory every day.
Help me to love
The Godhead above
In every single way.
Take my heart Lord
And do with it what you will.
I am yours Lord,
All of me may you fill.
I give myself to you,
Trusting all you do.
Please show me the way.
I'll love you Lord
With every chord
For your people I play.
Take my heart Lord,
And do with it what you will.
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
In less than a week it'll all be over...
That's how I thought I would feel about this week...My last week of undergrad coursework...
Even going into this week...SWEET BEANS LAST WEEK OF STUDENT TEACHING...
Even arriving at the school on Monday...ok self just one more week here
but...and there is always a but...it is different...
Now, I know what you are saying...it is only Tuesday, how did you already change your mind?
Well ...
in less than a week student teaching is over.
In less than a week there is no need for me to be on this campus anymore (ok, well I mean I still have my job for the rest of the semester and household...but still my education will be over)
In less than a week I will finish what I have been investing literally more money than I have into
What I have invested four and a half years of my life to...scratch that seventeen and a half (can't forget kindergarten...well and preschool so make that eighteen and a half years)
EIGHTEEN AND A HALF YEARS of my life have been leading up to this Friday, the day I complete the coursework for my Bachelors Degree
In less than a week I will be done working with these students. I will no longer be considered a part of this school.
And in less than a week I will no longer have the opportunity to make impacts on the lives of these particular children...I can only hope that in some way I did. That in some way they are better off because of something, some tiny thing I have done. I can only hope that they know I love them, and I expect great things from them.
In less than a week I won't see their little faces every morning, and receive their little hugs, or hearts drawn on the back of their assignments for me. I won't be able to dry their little tears when they fall, or give them a high five for being good.
In less than a week I will leave this school that I have been a part of for three and a half years. I could not be more grateful for the experiences I've had here, and the faculty and the students who have changed my life. I hope to hear great things about them in the future!
Even going into this week...SWEET BEANS LAST WEEK OF STUDENT TEACHING...
Even arriving at the school on Monday...ok self just one more week here
but...and there is always a but...it is different...
Now, I know what you are saying...it is only Tuesday, how did you already change your mind?
Well ...
in less than a week student teaching is over.
In less than a week there is no need for me to be on this campus anymore (ok, well I mean I still have my job for the rest of the semester and household...but still my education will be over)
In less than a week I will finish what I have been investing literally more money than I have into
What I have invested four and a half years of my life to...scratch that seventeen and a half (can't forget kindergarten...well and preschool so make that eighteen and a half years)
EIGHTEEN AND A HALF YEARS of my life have been leading up to this Friday, the day I complete the coursework for my Bachelors Degree
In less than a week I will be done working with these students. I will no longer be considered a part of this school.
And in less than a week I will no longer have the opportunity to make impacts on the lives of these particular children...I can only hope that in some way I did. That in some way they are better off because of something, some tiny thing I have done. I can only hope that they know I love them, and I expect great things from them.
In less than a week I won't see their little faces every morning, and receive their little hugs, or hearts drawn on the back of their assignments for me. I won't be able to dry their little tears when they fall, or give them a high five for being good.
In less than a week I will leave this school that I have been a part of for three and a half years. I could not be more grateful for the experiences I've had here, and the faculty and the students who have changed my life. I hope to hear great things about them in the future!
Saturday, November 9, 2013
Catholics! Come out of your bubble!
So I have noticed something...
As Catholics, we just love to talk about evangelizing. We love it; talking all about how great it is to reach out to others and share the Good News (aka the Gospel)...well that's great and all, but how many of us actually do that? and how?
Ok, mission trips...they are great. Love them, really I do and I know that we need them. It is great to reach out to the hurting, and the hungry, and the lonely, and the poor. Mission trips are necessary for us to help those who need it!
Are there other ways to evangelize though?
I know what you're thinking...oh heck no I am not going door to door to try and sell my religion...and I am not asking you to.
I am just saying that I have noticed something about Catholics...we tend to stick together. We form little Catholic bubbles...sure we break out of them some times like when we go on mission trips...but what about in our day to day lives?
Helping those who are faithful to grow in their faith...ok a good place to start...
what about just being friends with other people.
Being friendly with someone who does not follow the Catholic faith is not a bad thing. You do not have to push your religion on them, you don't even have to talk about religion if you don't want to. Just to be a good friend can be exactly what they need.
But we are scared sometimes I think, to make friends outside of our Catholic bubbles. We are scared that they may pop our little bubble. We are scared that they may reject us.
It takes someone strong in their faith to be able to enter into the rest of the world, no doubts about that, but some people learn from example. Some people need that warm loving friendship...that unconditional love just in order to be open to the idea of following a religion.
Sometimes just being nice to someone is enough to get them to start questioning...why? Why are they being so nice to me? How can they find good in all this bad?
and then that starts the ball rolling...
As Catholics, we just love to talk about evangelizing. We love it; talking all about how great it is to reach out to others and share the Good News (aka the Gospel)...well that's great and all, but how many of us actually do that? and how?
Ok, mission trips...they are great. Love them, really I do and I know that we need them. It is great to reach out to the hurting, and the hungry, and the lonely, and the poor. Mission trips are necessary for us to help those who need it!
Are there other ways to evangelize though?
I know what you're thinking...oh heck no I am not going door to door to try and sell my religion...and I am not asking you to.
I am just saying that I have noticed something about Catholics...we tend to stick together. We form little Catholic bubbles...sure we break out of them some times like when we go on mission trips...but what about in our day to day lives?
Helping those who are faithful to grow in their faith...ok a good place to start...
what about just being friends with other people.
Being friendly with someone who does not follow the Catholic faith is not a bad thing. You do not have to push your religion on them, you don't even have to talk about religion if you don't want to. Just to be a good friend can be exactly what they need.
But we are scared sometimes I think, to make friends outside of our Catholic bubbles. We are scared that they may pop our little bubble. We are scared that they may reject us.
It takes someone strong in their faith to be able to enter into the rest of the world, no doubts about that, but some people learn from example. Some people need that warm loving friendship...that unconditional love just in order to be open to the idea of following a religion.
Sometimes just being nice to someone is enough to get them to start questioning...why? Why are they being so nice to me? How can they find good in all this bad?
and then that starts the ball rolling...
Monday, October 7, 2013
His intentions should be...
...to lead me to Heaven.
You know how in the movies a father will ask a young man "what are your intentions with my daughter?" Usually the answer is "I want to marry her sir, and I'd like to ask for your blessing."
Well I was thinking about this the other day, and on that day when my father asks that question of a man for me I wan a different answer.
I want his intention to be getting me to Heaven.
What Britt? You don't want the man to marry you?
Oh guys of course I do, I hope to one day be married, but listen, marriage is serious.
Marriage is a vocation; a sacramental vocation.
When you get married, you take on a very serious job. It is your JOB to lead your spouse to Heaven. When you get married, you are saying that you love your spouse. That you want the best for your spouse, and you care about them. It is not just a feeling kids, it is a serious desire for your spouse to have the best and to be their best.
I don't want my future husband to only want me to be happy. I don't want him to be all typical like "I want your daughter to be happy, and I want to provide for her."
I mean, those things are great and all I would LOVE to be happy all the time....providing for me financially? well that sure would be nice, but let's be honest it isn't necessary.
Now, providing for me spiritually...whoah! Seriously imagine it, a man wanting with his whole being that you, SPECIFICALLY YOU, make it to Heaven; wanting to make sure that you are filled spiritually. A man who wants you to know your Lord, and know His love...seriously guys I don't think it gets any better than that on this here planet.
You know how in the movies a father will ask a young man "what are your intentions with my daughter?" Usually the answer is "I want to marry her sir, and I'd like to ask for your blessing."
Well I was thinking about this the other day, and on that day when my father asks that question of a man for me I wan a different answer.
I want his intention to be getting me to Heaven.
What Britt? You don't want the man to marry you?
Oh guys of course I do, I hope to one day be married, but listen, marriage is serious.
Marriage is a vocation; a sacramental vocation.
When you get married, you take on a very serious job. It is your JOB to lead your spouse to Heaven. When you get married, you are saying that you love your spouse. That you want the best for your spouse, and you care about them. It is not just a feeling kids, it is a serious desire for your spouse to have the best and to be their best.
I don't want my future husband to only want me to be happy. I don't want him to be all typical like "I want your daughter to be happy, and I want to provide for her."
I mean, those things are great and all I would LOVE to be happy all the time....providing for me financially? well that sure would be nice, but let's be honest it isn't necessary.
Now, providing for me spiritually...whoah! Seriously imagine it, a man wanting with his whole being that you, SPECIFICALLY YOU, make it to Heaven; wanting to make sure that you are filled spiritually. A man who wants you to know your Lord, and know His love...seriously guys I don't think it gets any better than that on this here planet.
Saturday, September 21, 2013
Sometimes the Triumph is in the Trial
I know what you're thinking....Britt, how can a trial possibly be a triumph?
ok, I hear you, a trial is a bad thing right?
well, no, not always...it is a challenge is what it is.
For example: math was never...I mean never an easy subject for me...let's go back..wayyy back to the third grade...multiplication? never stuck with me. nope...had to memorize those times tables three summers in a row. And I still need to review them before I can properly teach them. I never took algebra, but I took AP Calculus AB...tell me that wasn't a giant tear-jerking challenge...
but you know what? every time I was able to correctly solve a problem I felt like a million bucks! No kidding. Now if math came easily to me would that triumph be so great? No, I don't think so. I think part of what made me feel so good about finally solving a problem correctly was that it took so much effort.
Or English...maybe you're like me and writing at the high school level was not an issue. Turning papers in never left me with a sense of accomplishment...there was no triumph...because there was no trial. When I got to college, however, (ohhh look at the fancy use of the word however) ...when I got to college my classes were harder, and my professors expected more of me. Writing became difficult. I had to attempt to figure out just what it was the professor wanted from me...and the papers got longer and longer as I progressed through college...and it was THEN that I struggled with writing, and THEN that turning in 20-25 page, professionally written papers made me feel like a boss! Only after the trial did I get the triumph.
Do you see what I'm saying?
Or when I'm teaching...which is new for me, to actually be teaching instead of pretending to teach my peers who are pretending to be first graders...actually teaching is difficult. Some days I just hop on that struggle bus and ride it all day until I get home from school...It is hard when you can tell that your students don't understand something...partly because you've been there, also because you care about them and their grades, and also because you are being watched like a hawk and you really need these kids to understand something. ...Well I'll tell you what...after teaching and teaching and struggling and struggling...that day when they finally understand and they can tell you the right answer...is amazing...there is just no feeling quite like it...it makes the trial...the struggle...the hard work...worth it...the greatest triumph comes through the greatest trial.
Still don't get it? ok well here's something for all you theological/philosophical types
ok so free will...why do we have it? Right? people are all like why did God even give us free will? why would He let us make the choice to hate Him? Why wouldn't He just want us to love Him forever...well its kinda like the triumph being in the trial. Our love is worth more if we choose it. The trial? well that is temptation, the desire to live the "easy life" to choose ourselves over God and others...the triumph? when we do remember that God comes first and we choose to love Him. If we didn't have to choose love would it be so meaningful? No, no it wouldn't. Mandatory love is just not meaningful.
So do you see what I'm saying?
Without the trial, the struggle, the temptation, the sleepless nights, and the great amounts of effort, the end result is not a triumph. Without having to try, the success means nothing. When it really means something is when you have to work for it. When you have to put your whole self into what you are doing. And then when it is finally over, when you have finally won, there, that is the triumph.
ok, I hear you, a trial is a bad thing right?
well, no, not always...it is a challenge is what it is.
For example: math was never...I mean never an easy subject for me...let's go back..wayyy back to the third grade...multiplication? never stuck with me. nope...had to memorize those times tables three summers in a row. And I still need to review them before I can properly teach them. I never took algebra, but I took AP Calculus AB...tell me that wasn't a giant tear-jerking challenge...
but you know what? every time I was able to correctly solve a problem I felt like a million bucks! No kidding. Now if math came easily to me would that triumph be so great? No, I don't think so. I think part of what made me feel so good about finally solving a problem correctly was that it took so much effort.
Or English...maybe you're like me and writing at the high school level was not an issue. Turning papers in never left me with a sense of accomplishment...there was no triumph...because there was no trial. When I got to college, however, (ohhh look at the fancy use of the word however) ...when I got to college my classes were harder, and my professors expected more of me. Writing became difficult. I had to attempt to figure out just what it was the professor wanted from me...and the papers got longer and longer as I progressed through college...and it was THEN that I struggled with writing, and THEN that turning in 20-25 page, professionally written papers made me feel like a boss! Only after the trial did I get the triumph.
Do you see what I'm saying?
Or when I'm teaching...which is new for me, to actually be teaching instead of pretending to teach my peers who are pretending to be first graders...actually teaching is difficult. Some days I just hop on that struggle bus and ride it all day until I get home from school...It is hard when you can tell that your students don't understand something...partly because you've been there, also because you care about them and their grades, and also because you are being watched like a hawk and you really need these kids to understand something. ...Well I'll tell you what...after teaching and teaching and struggling and struggling...that day when they finally understand and they can tell you the right answer...is amazing...there is just no feeling quite like it...it makes the trial...the struggle...the hard work...worth it...the greatest triumph comes through the greatest trial.
Still don't get it? ok well here's something for all you theological/philosophical types
ok so free will...why do we have it? Right? people are all like why did God even give us free will? why would He let us make the choice to hate Him? Why wouldn't He just want us to love Him forever...well its kinda like the triumph being in the trial. Our love is worth more if we choose it. The trial? well that is temptation, the desire to live the "easy life" to choose ourselves over God and others...the triumph? when we do remember that God comes first and we choose to love Him. If we didn't have to choose love would it be so meaningful? No, no it wouldn't. Mandatory love is just not meaningful.
So do you see what I'm saying?
Without the trial, the struggle, the temptation, the sleepless nights, and the great amounts of effort, the end result is not a triumph. Without having to try, the success means nothing. When it really means something is when you have to work for it. When you have to put your whole self into what you are doing. And then when it is finally over, when you have finally won, there, that is the triumph.
Saturday, September 14, 2013
Why am I glad I was never "well-off" ???
It sounds weird I know. I was never considered well off...I never had a lot of money available to me...that happens when you have a big family.
First of all I don't know any different. This is my life, this is the way it has always been for me...I don't honestly know what it is like to not have to struggle with finances.
But now we can talk about why I am glad that I never had a lot of money.
Well, now I appreciate the money that I do have. I appreciate the money that I work for, and I especially appreciate it when someone goes out of their way to help me.
I know what hard work is, trust me, I have done my fair share of manual labor (she types as she is currently "working" in the computer lab). I know how to appreciate having a job even though it is difficult, or inconvenient. I know that I should be thankful just to have a job. I know that even if I'm working in a place with terrible customers, I can be thankful for that job and continue working in a plesant manner.
I know that life isn't always peaches and cream. My constant struggle with finances has taught me that...ya, life can be hard...in fact, it WILL be hard. There is no way around that, but because I already know this, I can accept the challenge and not feel the need to shrink into a dark corner every time I have an issue.
I have learned how to fight for things. Scholarships, loans, money, savings...I can fight for those things simply because I have had to learn how. It has made me independent, and knowledgeable about the financial world.
and I have learned to give when I can.
Being in the financial situations I have been in, I have experienced people helping me. I have witnessed the pure goodness of others through their help. Financial help, physical help, emotional help...just simply caring about me. I have come to appreciate these acts of kindness in ways that I cannot really describe.
But I know that I want to give back. Maybe it doesn't mean that I give back to the same person who helped me...Maybe it means I help someone else. There is always someone who needs help. I know that I appreciate help, and I hope to give others the joy that I have been given.
I write in all of those scholarship essays and such that I want to give back to the community. I want to help others the way I have been helped...and I mean it. I'm going to be a teacher...teachers are NEVER rich...never...poor is practically in the job description...this is clearly not something I am doing for the money...no...I want to help these kids. I want them to see that they can have a future and a bright one at that. I want to help others...my students, my peers, my colleagues...people I don't know...and I think I feel so strongly about this simply because of the life that I have lived...it was hard. I know it is hard for others, and I want to help make it easier...even if it is only a little bit easier, at least it is something that I can give.
First of all I don't know any different. This is my life, this is the way it has always been for me...I don't honestly know what it is like to not have to struggle with finances.
But now we can talk about why I am glad that I never had a lot of money.
Well, now I appreciate the money that I do have. I appreciate the money that I work for, and I especially appreciate it when someone goes out of their way to help me.
I know what hard work is, trust me, I have done my fair share of manual labor (she types as she is currently "working" in the computer lab). I know how to appreciate having a job even though it is difficult, or inconvenient. I know that I should be thankful just to have a job. I know that even if I'm working in a place with terrible customers, I can be thankful for that job and continue working in a plesant manner.
I know that life isn't always peaches and cream. My constant struggle with finances has taught me that...ya, life can be hard...in fact, it WILL be hard. There is no way around that, but because I already know this, I can accept the challenge and not feel the need to shrink into a dark corner every time I have an issue.
I have learned how to fight for things. Scholarships, loans, money, savings...I can fight for those things simply because I have had to learn how. It has made me independent, and knowledgeable about the financial world.
and I have learned to give when I can.
Being in the financial situations I have been in, I have experienced people helping me. I have witnessed the pure goodness of others through their help. Financial help, physical help, emotional help...just simply caring about me. I have come to appreciate these acts of kindness in ways that I cannot really describe.
But I know that I want to give back. Maybe it doesn't mean that I give back to the same person who helped me...Maybe it means I help someone else. There is always someone who needs help. I know that I appreciate help, and I hope to give others the joy that I have been given.
I write in all of those scholarship essays and such that I want to give back to the community. I want to help others the way I have been helped...and I mean it. I'm going to be a teacher...teachers are NEVER rich...never...poor is practically in the job description...this is clearly not something I am doing for the money...no...I want to help these kids. I want them to see that they can have a future and a bright one at that. I want to help others...my students, my peers, my colleagues...people I don't know...and I think I feel so strongly about this simply because of the life that I have lived...it was hard. I know it is hard for others, and I want to help make it easier...even if it is only a little bit easier, at least it is something that I can give.
Saturday, September 7, 2013
Being Wanted is Exhausting
...but also very rewarding.
Those of you who know me likely know that I am student teaching this semester. I cannot tell you where, or what level, or what age or anything like that.
For seven hours a day I am in that classroom, and for seven hours a day I am needed...
They tell you during all of your college courses that your students need you, and that your students will look up to you, and will want you to fulfill their basic needs.
You hear your professors saying this...over and over again...and you believe it, but you don't really think anything of it.
Until your first time being in a classroom all day. For 6-7 hours you are in that classroom, for 6-7 hours you are a teacher, and for 6-7 hours...you are needed.
You are needed to make sure the students are ok, that they are safe, that they are fed, that they are learning, that they are behaving, and that they are cared for...you are needed for all of these things...for 30-35 hours a week...
That is a lot of being needed...and needed...and needed.
It is a lot of focus, a lot of speaking, and a lot of giving of yourself to your students
and it is exhausting...
never-mind the fact that you have to go home and plan lessons and grade papers
Basically by Friday all you want to do is put on some sweat pants and fall asleep in front of the television
I imagine that is much how parents feel, except they don't get a weekend.
Even though by the end of the week you are exhausted...there is just something about being needed that can't be beat.
Hearing the words "Build with me," or "I need your help," "I like your shirt," "Please tie my shoes."
Knowing that these students trust you with their learning, but also with their safety...
and seeing their smiles every day.
A simple good morning from a student is enough to make one forget how tired they are, and bring their focus back to the room.
It is amazing how truly wonderful it is to be wanted by my students, to be needed by them, and being able to help them...
and being tired is simply worth it...I wouldn't want to give up working with students for a little sleep...nope not at all
Those of you who know me likely know that I am student teaching this semester. I cannot tell you where, or what level, or what age or anything like that.
For seven hours a day I am in that classroom, and for seven hours a day I am needed...
They tell you during all of your college courses that your students need you, and that your students will look up to you, and will want you to fulfill their basic needs.
You hear your professors saying this...over and over again...and you believe it, but you don't really think anything of it.
Until your first time being in a classroom all day. For 6-7 hours you are in that classroom, for 6-7 hours you are a teacher, and for 6-7 hours...you are needed.
You are needed to make sure the students are ok, that they are safe, that they are fed, that they are learning, that they are behaving, and that they are cared for...you are needed for all of these things...for 30-35 hours a week...
That is a lot of being needed...and needed...and needed.
It is a lot of focus, a lot of speaking, and a lot of giving of yourself to your students
and it is exhausting...
never-mind the fact that you have to go home and plan lessons and grade papers
Basically by Friday all you want to do is put on some sweat pants and fall asleep in front of the television
I imagine that is much how parents feel, except they don't get a weekend.
Even though by the end of the week you are exhausted...there is just something about being needed that can't be beat.
Hearing the words "Build with me," or "I need your help," "I like your shirt," "Please tie my shoes."
Knowing that these students trust you with their learning, but also with their safety...
and seeing their smiles every day.
A simple good morning from a student is enough to make one forget how tired they are, and bring their focus back to the room.
It is amazing how truly wonderful it is to be wanted by my students, to be needed by them, and being able to help them...
and being tired is simply worth it...I wouldn't want to give up working with students for a little sleep...nope not at all
Saturday, August 31, 2013
Forever wanting more
Take a second to think about it...are you really happy with what you have? Everything?
I find we all too often are not happy with what we have.
curly haired girls are always wishing they had straighter/less frizzy hair
straight hair girls are forever wishing they had at least some curls.
boys...well I don't really know what boys want...a different body type? more...or maybe less facial hair?...boys confuse me...
but anyway its not just in looks and bodily things...it also in possessions, careers, relationships...you name it ...you just want more ...like in this commercial, which says it all
We are unhappy when we can't have the best phone, the biggest house, the best computer...and when we do get something we want, we want the next biggest thing immediately. We don't take any time to enjoy what we have. We want all of the accessories, the latest gadgets, we just always want what we perceive to be better.
Why?
Why do we not take time to be happy with what we have? Why do we not realize what we do have?
I almost never find myself going "well you know I just have a great phone here, it does everything I need it to do without costing a fortune."
No. More often I find myself saying "Well, I have a dumb phone, it doesn't go online, it doesn't have snap chat and it cannot check the weather." ...never-mind the fact that I have a computer that can do pretty much all of that stuff on my desk just feet away from me.
We get too caught up in what is next...what is newest...what do my friends have that I do not?
STOP IT! just stop it right now! Look at what you have, is it pretty good? I'll bet you notice you actually have a lot. Complain about not having enough space in your closet? ...Look at all the clothes you have...it is a lot of clothes isn't it. Appreciate the clothes instead of hating the closet.
This doesn't mean you should never want more, or want better for yourself, but sometimes it is just a good thing to realize what you have.
I find we all too often are not happy with what we have.
curly haired girls are always wishing they had straighter/less frizzy hair
straight hair girls are forever wishing they had at least some curls.
boys...well I don't really know what boys want...a different body type? more...or maybe less facial hair?...boys confuse me...
but anyway its not just in looks and bodily things...it also in possessions, careers, relationships...you name it ...you just want more ...like in this commercial, which says it all
We are unhappy when we can't have the best phone, the biggest house, the best computer...and when we do get something we want, we want the next biggest thing immediately. We don't take any time to enjoy what we have. We want all of the accessories, the latest gadgets, we just always want what we perceive to be better.
Why?
Why do we not take time to be happy with what we have? Why do we not realize what we do have?
I almost never find myself going "well you know I just have a great phone here, it does everything I need it to do without costing a fortune."
No. More often I find myself saying "Well, I have a dumb phone, it doesn't go online, it doesn't have snap chat and it cannot check the weather." ...never-mind the fact that I have a computer that can do pretty much all of that stuff on my desk just feet away from me.
We get too caught up in what is next...what is newest...what do my friends have that I do not?
STOP IT! just stop it right now! Look at what you have, is it pretty good? I'll bet you notice you actually have a lot. Complain about not having enough space in your closet? ...Look at all the clothes you have...it is a lot of clothes isn't it. Appreciate the clothes instead of hating the closet.
This doesn't mean you should never want more, or want better for yourself, but sometimes it is just a good thing to realize what you have.
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
My upcoming super busy life...
Hey all!
So I know I have a decent amount of followers...even though my "follow" button doesn't work...still don't know how to fix that one...and I figured I'd give y'all a heads up...
I AM ALREADY AND WILL BE EVEN MORE BUSY!
Oh man I leave on Monday for training for orientation team...which is a week...it lasts until Thursday and then orientation ends on Sunday...and then...
I start orientation for student teaching the next day (I know most people have that Monday off...not the student teachers...lame right?)
That is a week long...and then
I START STUDENT TEACHING....so exciting...and so terrifying...and VERY time consuming!
I will also have 2 jobs this semester which (praise the Lord) will help me buy important things like food...but will take up a bum ton of my time.
and I am also in a household (shout out to all the Daughters out there) ...and am going to try my very best to make it to as many commitments as I can
It is my last semester of my undergrad career and I am so close to my diploma and my certification I can almost feel them!
All this being said...expect my posts to occur less often...No I haven't fallen off the face of the earth...but this blog (as much as I love it) is not my first priority. I have so many ideas I want to write about...but those little kids who's educations are in my hands...they kind of come first. ...as does my GPA...oh and maybe my sanity...
sanity is nice...but I guess I'll be sane when I'm dead...no I'll sleep when I'm dead...probably both let's be honest....
So I just wanted to give you an explanation for my upcoming absence from the blog world...I just can't do it all...I'm not dead...just sleep deprived and busy :)
So I know I have a decent amount of followers...even though my "follow" button doesn't work...still don't know how to fix that one...and I figured I'd give y'all a heads up...
I AM ALREADY AND WILL BE EVEN MORE BUSY!
Oh man I leave on Monday for training for orientation team...which is a week...it lasts until Thursday and then orientation ends on Sunday...and then...
I start orientation for student teaching the next day (I know most people have that Monday off...not the student teachers...lame right?)
That is a week long...and then
I START STUDENT TEACHING....so exciting...and so terrifying...and VERY time consuming!
I will also have 2 jobs this semester which (praise the Lord) will help me buy important things like food...but will take up a bum ton of my time.
and I am also in a household (shout out to all the Daughters out there) ...and am going to try my very best to make it to as many commitments as I can
It is my last semester of my undergrad career and I am so close to my diploma and my certification I can almost feel them!
All this being said...expect my posts to occur less often...No I haven't fallen off the face of the earth...but this blog (as much as I love it) is not my first priority. I have so many ideas I want to write about...but those little kids who's educations are in my hands...they kind of come first. ...as does my GPA...oh and maybe my sanity...
sanity is nice...but I guess I'll be sane when I'm dead...no I'll sleep when I'm dead...probably both let's be honest....
So I just wanted to give you an explanation for my upcoming absence from the blog world...I just can't do it all...I'm not dead...just sleep deprived and busy :)
Friday, August 2, 2013
Imperfections
So I was working by myself and enjoying some introverted thinking time
I know, I know...I know what you're thinking...but BRITT you're an extrovert...introverted thinking time...w-how?
I don't know guys...just sometimes I like to do things by myself....so ANYWAY...I was thinking
and I started thinking that it is a shame that people judge people...you would just be so much friendlier if you didn't judge people...
and then I thought...but wait self...YOU judge people all the time...haha oops...
Sooo I'm not perfect, in fact...no one is perfect. Let's be honest it is impossible to be perfect...but we can strive for it...
so judging...ya, my guess is pretty much every human being on this planet struggles with judging people...but think about it...why, how...
how can we judge someone for not being perfect...when we aren't perfect ourselves
y'all know I'm a Christian, but religion aside...how can you justify it?
How can I judge you for being imperfect in some way...when I am clearly not perfect myself? It just doesn't make sense.
ok so think about it...You're walking down the street and you pass this person...doing something you clearly do not agree with...just picture it...what do you do...well you judge them...you think to yourself "oh I cannot believe that they do THAT...and I mean they are doing THAT in public...oh gosh that just disgusts me."
meanwhile you have a laundry list of things you do wrong...things you do in public that make you cringe...things that make others cringe...things that you wish no one would do...yet you do them.
So why judge the other person?
I know, I know...I know what you're thinking...but BRITT you're an extrovert...introverted thinking time...w-how?
I don't know guys...just sometimes I like to do things by myself....so ANYWAY...I was thinking
and I started thinking that it is a shame that people judge people...you would just be so much friendlier if you didn't judge people...
and then I thought...but wait self...YOU judge people all the time...haha oops...
Sooo I'm not perfect, in fact...no one is perfect. Let's be honest it is impossible to be perfect...but we can strive for it...
so judging...ya, my guess is pretty much every human being on this planet struggles with judging people...but think about it...why, how...
how can we judge someone for not being perfect...when we aren't perfect ourselves
y'all know I'm a Christian, but religion aside...how can you justify it?
How can I judge you for being imperfect in some way...when I am clearly not perfect myself? It just doesn't make sense.
ok so think about it...You're walking down the street and you pass this person...doing something you clearly do not agree with...just picture it...what do you do...well you judge them...you think to yourself "oh I cannot believe that they do THAT...and I mean they are doing THAT in public...oh gosh that just disgusts me."
meanwhile you have a laundry list of things you do wrong...things you do in public that make you cringe...things that make others cringe...things that you wish no one would do...yet you do them.
So why judge the other person?
Saturday, July 20, 2013
Do I know my audience?
Easy answer...no
All throughout school I was told "Know your audience." A typical teacher phrase.
What does it mean? It means you should know who is reading your stuff...if you're writing about a book...you should know if your audience is reading to learn about the book because they haven't read it and they want to know about it...you should know if they are reading because they are looking for your interpretation of the book...basically has your reader read the book before or not....how much background info do you have to put into the writing in order for it to make sense to your reader...
Well ok I don't usually write about books...but I still sit here wondering...who is my audience?
It is always interesting for me when someone comes up to me and is all like...wow I've been reading your blog I really liked X,Y, and Z.
or maybe its just a casual mention about my blog and I'm all like "Whoah I had no clue you read that!"
Or the moment when you get "so and so was talking to me all about your blog the other day..."
Who are you people that I am writing for? friends, acquaintances, complete strangers?
WHO ARE YOU?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
I really just started this as a place to write down extended thoughts of things I think about...writing down thoughts about thinking...yes, I know what you are thinking... I am so intelligent and eloquent
anyway it started out as something for me and if other people wanted to read it they could...if not ... whatever...but as I keep going I grow more and more curious about who is reading this blog...do they like it? Do they wish I could write about something in particular? Do they have a way to contact me?
well I suppose you could contact me via the comments...I don't really check the email associated with blog all that often...lets be honest I made it when I was little so giving out the name to people is embarrassing...My google plus circles are lookin' really small so not too many people can contact me that way...but I suppose there are ways for you to contact me.
I'm not even completely sure where I was going with this post...I really just have been thinking about it a bit. Its interesting this digital world where I don't even have to know the people I am writing for, and where they (whoever they are) can read it as soon as I post it.
I suppose I'll just continue on doing what I'm doing...seeing as that was the point of this blog and all, but feel free to comment and such...feedback is always a wonderful thing
In other news I'm in an interesting music phase right now and cutesy/weird music is apparently now for me...
and that my friends is what you get from sleep deprived writing...have a random day!
All throughout school I was told "Know your audience." A typical teacher phrase.
What does it mean? It means you should know who is reading your stuff...if you're writing about a book...you should know if your audience is reading to learn about the book because they haven't read it and they want to know about it...you should know if they are reading because they are looking for your interpretation of the book...basically has your reader read the book before or not....how much background info do you have to put into the writing in order for it to make sense to your reader...
Well ok I don't usually write about books...but I still sit here wondering...who is my audience?
It is always interesting for me when someone comes up to me and is all like...wow I've been reading your blog I really liked X,Y, and Z.
or maybe its just a casual mention about my blog and I'm all like "Whoah I had no clue you read that!"
Or the moment when you get "so and so was talking to me all about your blog the other day..."
Who are you people that I am writing for? friends, acquaintances, complete strangers?
WHO ARE YOU?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
I really just started this as a place to write down extended thoughts of things I think about...writing down thoughts about thinking...yes, I know what you are thinking... I am so intelligent and eloquent
anyway it started out as something for me and if other people wanted to read it they could...if not ... whatever...but as I keep going I grow more and more curious about who is reading this blog...do they like it? Do they wish I could write about something in particular? Do they have a way to contact me?
well I suppose you could contact me via the comments...I don't really check the email associated with blog all that often...lets be honest I made it when I was little so giving out the name to people is embarrassing...My google plus circles are lookin' really small so not too many people can contact me that way...but I suppose there are ways for you to contact me.
I'm not even completely sure where I was going with this post...I really just have been thinking about it a bit. Its interesting this digital world where I don't even have to know the people I am writing for, and where they (whoever they are) can read it as soon as I post it.
I suppose I'll just continue on doing what I'm doing...seeing as that was the point of this blog and all, but feel free to comment and such...feedback is always a wonderful thing
In other news I'm in an interesting music phase right now and cutesy/weird music is apparently now for me...
and that my friends is what you get from sleep deprived writing...have a random day!
Sunday, July 14, 2013
What is beauty?
So what is beauty? This is...and probably will always be a tough question...
I recently posted some pictures on facebook (I love me some social media) and at first I was all like....dangggg I love the way I look in these pictures! and I was pleased with them...but then I looked at them with more than just a glance and I started picking myself apart...oh my dress is slightly disheveled here...my hair is frizzy there...my nose is GIANT...ewww my cheeks look huge in that picture...and then I think...
really? really self? are we really going to do this right now?
Women...we just don't get it...we tear ourselves down...we notice things about ourselves that others wouldn't even think of...or others might find attractive...who knows?
We compare ourselves to others...see that other girl in the picture? oh she looks much better in this picture than I do...Wow look at that girl she is so pretty, I could never pull off an outfit like that...lucky her that her clothes fit so well...her belly is flatter than mine, how does she do it?...My chest looks completely flat compared to hers...
Why? Why do we do this...honestly I do not know...I am not a psychologist, and all of the courses I took on psychology were related to human development, not the way women think of themselves so I can't really even begin to guess...
Many people would probably blame the media...don't we just love love love to blame the media. I'm sure it plays a part, probably a rather large one...but I think there are also other factors. I think we do this because we always want more. We always want to be prettier, we always want to get more attention, we always want to be desirable...and we always think we aren't...we always take things very personally...even if there isn't actually something to take personally.
The point remains that women too often don't see their beauty...they only see their PERCEIVED flaws-what they think makes them look unattractive...
So I look at the pictures again...and I see happiness, I see the kind of smile where it shows on my whole face and in my eyes, I see wonderfully curly hair, I see my blue eyes that sometimes show hints of other colors, I see that wrinkle in my forehead; not as something bad, but as an accent to my face, I see those times when I still look like a little kid, and I see those times when I look like the woman I've become
Beauty is not a set of standards that women have to achieve. It is not something that can be clearly defined. It doesn't come in a package. There is no outfit that suddenly makes you more beautiful. It is not hidden in make up and accessories.
There is no formula for beauty.
Beauty is something that has to do with who you are. Inner beauty radiates outward, it is true, it isn't just something people say; I see it every day. Beauty is very personal: your beauty is unique. No one else has your beauty. You are the only one as beautiful as you are. Your laugh, your smile, your eyes, hair, nose, your joy, your personality...whatever it is that makes you who you are, and as beautiful as you are...you are the only one like that...now that right there is something special. Embrace it.
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Living life as a prayer
This is not something I'm fantastic at, or I know everything about, it is just something I would like to start doing....
I don't remember what I was thinking about...but I was surely thinking...maybe it was about how every lent I'm all like "I'm going to say a prayer every morning when I wake up" and then I fail...maybe it was "I wish I had more time to pray when I could pay attention rather than when I'm half asleep" ....maybe it was "hmmmm I should really pray more I don't really have an excuse now that my summer course is over"....I don't know...
but at some point it hit me...ummmm my whole life should be a prayer!
Now I know I've heard this before, and I know I've thought about doing this before, probably several times, but the more I think about it, the more it makes sense...
I mean think about it: Christ gave up his life for us: for you, and me, as individuals...His LIFE.
Sure sure, He is fully divine...of course he would do that....
but wait a minute...let it sink in...think about it...He is also FULLY HUMAN...and He didn't have to do it, He didn't have to die on a cross. He could have chosen not to; He even asked His Father if it was possible that He didn't have to go through the suffering (Luke 22:42)...but the fact remains...Christ died on a cross for us.
Whoah right?
If Christ died on a cross for me why can I not take the time to speak with Him? Not even just speak with Him, but spend time with Him, to think of Him...often...why is that too much for me to handle?
So I pondered this...and pondered this...and pondered this...and at some point was like...ok self enough thinking...let's do this!
So I'm trying to make a point to notice God in my life, and pray often throughout the day, and when I remember I offer my day up for something or someone...It is so much easier to give of our lives through prayer than the suffering Christ went through for us...
How beautiful is it when you can pray throughout the day, and you can thank God in the good times, ask for help from God in the hard times, seek guidance from the Lord all the time, and realize that God is never far away from you...in fact He is quite close...He is always there for you...will you spend time with Him?
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Sure I'll trust God with everything...EXCEPT...
So trusting God...it is a pretty big deal right?
right
You may find yourself truly thinking that you trust God...until a problem arises...for me that problem was money...
I was all like sure I'll trust God with what my confirmation name is supposed to be, what my vocation is supposed to be, what career path I should take, who my husband is going to be...I'll trust God with all of these things...that counts right...
But I didn't think to trust Him with my finances....so what happens?
Well I paid off my first semester of college no problem with the help of financial aid...I think I've got this thing in the bag...I am totally independent and I know how to do this whole money thing...didn't think twice about it...didn't pray about it...gave money at church...but that's about as far as mixing my money and my faith went...the collection basket.
well...freshman year may have been doable...but when I got that bill for sophomore year...I had NO IDEA what I was going to do. Oh my goodness I didn't think there was really a chance that I wouldn't go back to school. I didn't say a real good bye to any of my friends, I didn't finish my education...I HAVE TO GO BACK!
but how?
I tried to take matters into my own hands...dumb idea...and I can just picture God up there in Heaven all like "Brittany, why don't you ask me for help? why don't you let me handle this one?"
Money is just such a worldly thing...I didn't think about asking God...so I ran out of options. I came to dead ends...I cried a lot of tears...by this point people had been telling me to trust God...if I was meant to go back...it would happen...somehow...so I prayed about money...but I really wasn't too sure about it.
Finally I had no options left it was financially impossible for me to pay for school and I gave up...I knew that I wasn't independent...I needed God...and I slowly ...very slowly started to trust Him with my finances...
well weird stuff happened....a loan here
a scholarship there
a grant here
something I didn't even qualify for all the way over there
ok ok God I see now ...I get it...You can help with finances...I don't quite understand it...but I believe it...
And I continue to believe it. Every year I struggle to make ends meet when it comes to paying the school bill and the phone bill and the grocery bill ...and somehow...it all works out...God works it all out...
Granted when God opens a door...you have to do the work to get through it...it is not just like I can pray about money and do nothing about it...but God provides opportunities for me...and I've learned to take them.
I'm positive there are other BIG GIANT lessons God is just itching to teach me, but this one was pretty big. Take a second. Think about it. Reflect on it. Is there something you don't trust God with? Why? Why is it that we don't trust God with everything? What is stopping you? Think its too materialistic for God...I bet you a ton of money you're wrong. Let go...trust Him, He'll figure it out...but when he opens a door, you better climb over that obstacle course to get through it!
right
You may find yourself truly thinking that you trust God...until a problem arises...for me that problem was money...
I was all like sure I'll trust God with what my confirmation name is supposed to be, what my vocation is supposed to be, what career path I should take, who my husband is going to be...I'll trust God with all of these things...that counts right...
But I didn't think to trust Him with my finances....so what happens?
Well I paid off my first semester of college no problem with the help of financial aid...I think I've got this thing in the bag...I am totally independent and I know how to do this whole money thing...didn't think twice about it...didn't pray about it...gave money at church...but that's about as far as mixing my money and my faith went...the collection basket.
well...freshman year may have been doable...but when I got that bill for sophomore year...I had NO IDEA what I was going to do. Oh my goodness I didn't think there was really a chance that I wouldn't go back to school. I didn't say a real good bye to any of my friends, I didn't finish my education...I HAVE TO GO BACK!
but how?
I tried to take matters into my own hands...dumb idea...and I can just picture God up there in Heaven all like "Brittany, why don't you ask me for help? why don't you let me handle this one?"
Money is just such a worldly thing...I didn't think about asking God...so I ran out of options. I came to dead ends...I cried a lot of tears...by this point people had been telling me to trust God...if I was meant to go back...it would happen...somehow...so I prayed about money...but I really wasn't too sure about it.
Finally I had no options left it was financially impossible for me to pay for school and I gave up...I knew that I wasn't independent...I needed God...and I slowly ...very slowly started to trust Him with my finances...
well weird stuff happened....a loan here
a scholarship there
a grant here
something I didn't even qualify for all the way over there
ok ok God I see now ...I get it...You can help with finances...I don't quite understand it...but I believe it...
And I continue to believe it. Every year I struggle to make ends meet when it comes to paying the school bill and the phone bill and the grocery bill ...and somehow...it all works out...God works it all out...
Granted when God opens a door...you have to do the work to get through it...it is not just like I can pray about money and do nothing about it...but God provides opportunities for me...and I've learned to take them.
I'm positive there are other BIG GIANT lessons God is just itching to teach me, but this one was pretty big. Take a second. Think about it. Reflect on it. Is there something you don't trust God with? Why? Why is it that we don't trust God with everything? What is stopping you? Think its too materialistic for God...I bet you a ton of money you're wrong. Let go...trust Him, He'll figure it out...but when he opens a door, you better climb over that obstacle course to get through it!
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Hospitality...the foreign concept
Have you ever noticed that experiencing someone else being hospitable towards you feels weird? I have. I wanted to write this post a long time ago when this happened to me.
Here's the situation: I walked into Chic Fil-A, seeking nothing but the bathroom. I was going to eat but not until after I was able to use the bathroom. I had that goal in mind and wasn't expecting anything would stop me from doing so. The second I walked in the door the cashier asked me how I was. I was confused. I hadn't walked up to the counter yet, I literally just walked through the door and already people were talking to me. But wait, they weren't just talking to me, they were smiling. Not one of those fake "I'm only asking you this because its in my job description" kind of smiles, but a real one. I was confused.
Why should that be confusing? Why is it that when people do something even remotely nice for us we think its strange and out of place. It should not be this way. Here's another situation for you...
You go over a friend's house. Now normally when you go over a friend's house the parents are quite nice to you...but this friend is originally from a different country, or maybe just their parents are. Either way, they still express the culture of somewhere that isn't here. You notice that they are over-the-top nice to you. They feed you...several times, are always asking if you need anything, the carry on pleasant conversation with you...quite simply they are super nice to you. "Ahhhhh" you think, "I love the hospitality of other cultures."
Let me highlight something for you ...other cultures...
Right, so whether or not we notice it...we, as a culture, are not super great at the whole hospitality thing. Why is that? I don't know, but it is not a good thing. We are also not super great at being receptive. If someone says hi to you when you pass by them...say hi back...its a simple phrase...hi...two letters, one syllable. It is quite easy to say.
Also I've noticed people have a terrible habit of asking the age old "how are ya?" without caring at all what the answer is. If you ask in passing, you should probably stop walking long enough to hear the response. Other wise just say "hey," or refer to the previous paragraph.
As a culture I think that our interactions with each other need work. We need to recognize that people are around us all the time and act kindly towards them.
Here's the situation: I walked into Chic Fil-A, seeking nothing but the bathroom. I was going to eat but not until after I was able to use the bathroom. I had that goal in mind and wasn't expecting anything would stop me from doing so. The second I walked in the door the cashier asked me how I was. I was confused. I hadn't walked up to the counter yet, I literally just walked through the door and already people were talking to me. But wait, they weren't just talking to me, they were smiling. Not one of those fake "I'm only asking you this because its in my job description" kind of smiles, but a real one. I was confused.
Why should that be confusing? Why is it that when people do something even remotely nice for us we think its strange and out of place. It should not be this way. Here's another situation for you...
You go over a friend's house. Now normally when you go over a friend's house the parents are quite nice to you...but this friend is originally from a different country, or maybe just their parents are. Either way, they still express the culture of somewhere that isn't here. You notice that they are over-the-top nice to you. They feed you...several times, are always asking if you need anything, the carry on pleasant conversation with you...quite simply they are super nice to you. "Ahhhhh" you think, "I love the hospitality of other cultures."
Let me highlight something for you ...other cultures...
Right, so whether or not we notice it...we, as a culture, are not super great at the whole hospitality thing. Why is that? I don't know, but it is not a good thing. We are also not super great at being receptive. If someone says hi to you when you pass by them...say hi back...its a simple phrase...hi...two letters, one syllable. It is quite easy to say.
Also I've noticed people have a terrible habit of asking the age old "how are ya?" without caring at all what the answer is. If you ask in passing, you should probably stop walking long enough to hear the response. Other wise just say "hey," or refer to the previous paragraph.
As a culture I think that our interactions with each other need work. We need to recognize that people are around us all the time and act kindly towards them.
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
The End of an Era
(prepare yourself, I get the feeling this is going to be a long post)
So I'm done with four years of college. Man that went by so fast! No, I didn't graduate...yet...but 4 years is still quite the mile marker!
When my bosses found out my schedule would not allow me to work for them for my final semester in the fall one of them said "whoah its the end of an era." Not too many girls actually stick with the grounds crew for 4 years...its tough work! What I didn't realize was that the semester I started working there was also the semester this particular boss started working there.
I absolutely loved my job on the Grounds Crew! I learned so much. This city girl now feels like she could actually get something to grow...and look nice too! Sure I hated the trash run, but I loved planting stuff, watering stuff, watching it grow and saying...you see that hosta over there? I picked that one out and planted it! I love knowing the names of things like my 2 current favorite kinds of trees (kwanzan cheery and red bud). I loved my bosses to pieces they were like my on campus dads. I learned how to start a leaf-blower (I went from not being able to, to being named the leaf-blower whisperer). I learned how to drive a pick up truck, a John Deer Gator, a spiffy Kubota, and yes, a dump truck. I won't dwell on this too long, I've already written a post about it a while ago, but let's just say that leaving was too much bitter and not enough sweet. I will never forget that job!
After 4 years I also finally completed the Honors Program at my school. This is a HUGE accomplishment for me. I had to fight to finish this program due to scheduling conflicts. I was only in my last honors class half of the time (and still pulled a B-!!!!). Honors was super difficult for me because my background did not prepare me very well for this material. I went to high school in a public school district that fails No Child Left Behind...I know I know...who knew that was actually possible...well it is. We did not read the same type of materials in my high school that many of my private schooled, and home schooled classmates did. I started this program pretty far behind! I never gave up though and now it is done! I am done (with)* Honors forever!
After I finish a summer course I will be done with regular college courses for my undergrad career! Next semester is student teaching so I'm treating it as something different. 4 years of classes. I've had the same professors over and over and over again (its a small college you must understand)...and now I won't have them anymore. It just feels weird, and strange.
Graduation: yes I did watch it, no I haven't done it yet. This past semester was the one where I was supposed to walk the stage. I still will but at a later date, and I've already written about that as well. I went to watch my class.
I watched my Honors class graduate. What an accomplishment. I am honored to be part of their class. What achievements and awards they received on top of completing the Honors Program. Great job guys. It felt weird to watch them go. After 4 years of reading Great Books, sitting in circles in talking about Great Books, writing papers and reflections on Great Books, and taking oral finals and doing final projects on Great Books we have a certain kind of bond. We watched each other struggle, we watched some classmates leave, and we urged some to stay. We stuck it out and we did it. The few, the proud, the 16 people from the Honors class of 2013 who actually made it. I was glad to see them cross that stage with their Honors tassels, but sad to see them go.
I know I wrote about Honors twice, but finishing the program and watching my classmates go are two completely different feelings.
I watched my class graduate. The people I came in with freshman year. The people who were at orientation with me. The people I watched grow into adults and who watched me grow into an adult. I will always consider myself part of the class of 2013. Always. This class is silly, goofy, smart, and kind. I am glad to have been a part of it!
Here's the punch in the gut...I watched my first college friends graduate. The first people I ever befriended at this school. The ones who stayed up late and got up early with me freshman year. My first roommate. The ones who's rooms I pretty much lived in instead of my own because I don't like doing homework in my own room. The friends who I met on my wing, on 4th floor, in the bathroom the night before we had a class together, at the orientation dance, at lunch that random one time, and in my first semester of scary college classes. My first college best friend and my first college friend group. And let's be honest if the "community" on the 4th floor our freshman year is still being talked about by the RAs to this day clearly we had something great going!
In four years I went from an ambitious girl with no clue what she was going to do with her life to an ambitious woman with no clue where she is going to live in December. I've learned so much and been touched by so many people. I've come very far in what turned out to feel like a very short period of time. Grown ups are not lying when they say that college will fly by! Four years is already gone and I cannot believe it! This is the end of an era for sure.
*I would normally say "I'm done Honors!" and apparently that isn't normal
So I'm done with four years of college. Man that went by so fast! No, I didn't graduate...yet...but 4 years is still quite the mile marker!
When my bosses found out my schedule would not allow me to work for them for my final semester in the fall one of them said "whoah its the end of an era." Not too many girls actually stick with the grounds crew for 4 years...its tough work! What I didn't realize was that the semester I started working there was also the semester this particular boss started working there.
I absolutely loved my job on the Grounds Crew! I learned so much. This city girl now feels like she could actually get something to grow...and look nice too! Sure I hated the trash run, but I loved planting stuff, watering stuff, watching it grow and saying...you see that hosta over there? I picked that one out and planted it! I love knowing the names of things like my 2 current favorite kinds of trees (kwanzan cheery and red bud). I loved my bosses to pieces they were like my on campus dads. I learned how to start a leaf-blower (I went from not being able to, to being named the leaf-blower whisperer). I learned how to drive a pick up truck, a John Deer Gator, a spiffy Kubota, and yes, a dump truck. I won't dwell on this too long, I've already written a post about it a while ago, but let's just say that leaving was too much bitter and not enough sweet. I will never forget that job!
After 4 years I also finally completed the Honors Program at my school. This is a HUGE accomplishment for me. I had to fight to finish this program due to scheduling conflicts. I was only in my last honors class half of the time (and still pulled a B-!!!!). Honors was super difficult for me because my background did not prepare me very well for this material. I went to high school in a public school district that fails No Child Left Behind...I know I know...who knew that was actually possible...well it is. We did not read the same type of materials in my high school that many of my private schooled, and home schooled classmates did. I started this program pretty far behind! I never gave up though and now it is done! I am done (with)* Honors forever!
After I finish a summer course I will be done with regular college courses for my undergrad career! Next semester is student teaching so I'm treating it as something different. 4 years of classes. I've had the same professors over and over and over again (its a small college you must understand)...and now I won't have them anymore. It just feels weird, and strange.
Graduation: yes I did watch it, no I haven't done it yet. This past semester was the one where I was supposed to walk the stage. I still will but at a later date, and I've already written about that as well. I went to watch my class.
I watched my Honors class graduate. What an accomplishment. I am honored to be part of their class. What achievements and awards they received on top of completing the Honors Program. Great job guys. It felt weird to watch them go. After 4 years of reading Great Books, sitting in circles in talking about Great Books, writing papers and reflections on Great Books, and taking oral finals and doing final projects on Great Books we have a certain kind of bond. We watched each other struggle, we watched some classmates leave, and we urged some to stay. We stuck it out and we did it. The few, the proud, the 16 people from the Honors class of 2013 who actually made it. I was glad to see them cross that stage with their Honors tassels, but sad to see them go.
I know I wrote about Honors twice, but finishing the program and watching my classmates go are two completely different feelings.
I watched my class graduate. The people I came in with freshman year. The people who were at orientation with me. The people I watched grow into adults and who watched me grow into an adult. I will always consider myself part of the class of 2013. Always. This class is silly, goofy, smart, and kind. I am glad to have been a part of it!
Here's the punch in the gut...I watched my first college friends graduate. The first people I ever befriended at this school. The ones who stayed up late and got up early with me freshman year. My first roommate. The ones who's rooms I pretty much lived in instead of my own because I don't like doing homework in my own room. The friends who I met on my wing, on 4th floor, in the bathroom the night before we had a class together, at the orientation dance, at lunch that random one time, and in my first semester of scary college classes. My first college best friend and my first college friend group. And let's be honest if the "community" on the 4th floor our freshman year is still being talked about by the RAs to this day clearly we had something great going!
In four years I went from an ambitious girl with no clue what she was going to do with her life to an ambitious woman with no clue where she is going to live in December. I've learned so much and been touched by so many people. I've come very far in what turned out to feel like a very short period of time. Grown ups are not lying when they say that college will fly by! Four years is already gone and I cannot believe it! This is the end of an era for sure.
*I would normally say "I'm done Honors!" and apparently that isn't normal
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Who is graduation for?
So its graduation season...yes season because there are so many of them.
Whether it be from 6th grade, high school, or college, the graduation ceremony is usually "for" someone.
In college I realized that you have the option of not walking...aka not crossing the stage in front of everyone to show off all your hard work...This idea is rather foreign to me.
Something else you should probably know as I write this is that I am graduating late: in December. My school does not have a ceremony in December. To "walk" I would have to come back in May. People keep asking me if I'm going to walk...Yes, and I will be walking for myself!
but first, let's look at this...
Graduations are for the family of the person graduating. They put up with a lot of stuff to get you where you are. They helped you study, put up with your stress, calmed you down, proof read your papers, heck they memorized multiplication tables with you (maybe even for 3 summers in a row). Some parent also spent a FORTUNE on your education...private school, college tuition, tutors? If your parents paid for you...shoot you owe it to them to walk across the stage so they can get all proud and teary eyed...they've earned it!
Graduations are for friends. Graduations are a time of celebration! Its a time when everyone can get together and celebrate each other. Its a time of good byes and wishing each other good luck. Graduation provides closure...
Graduations are for the individual. Come on, as a student you worked hard to get to that point. Show it to the world. Shake some hands, wear a silly looking hood, maybe even a few cords...show yourself off! School is hard; papers, tests, professors who dislike your writing style...listen learning is tough work and after all of that, a little recognition is nice.
...ok so why will I come back and walk next May? ...why didn't I just walk with my Associates Degree?
I will be walking for myself. Yes, I will also be walking for my family, and my friends...but in quite a large part I am walking for myself. College has been quite the roller coaster ride. I have worked hard to pay for school by myself, I have worked hard to get decent grades, I have worked hard to complete the Honors Program...its been rough...blood, sweat, and tears literally went into this education! I will be walking to show that I will have finally done it! Finally graduated. This graduation will be for me.
It will also be for my family. Shoot my family has certainly put up with so much garbage from me about school. Plus I know my parents would love to come out for it; show their support and get to see their daughter walk across the stage get a fancy folder, move a tassel and take a picture in front of tons of people.
My graduation will also be for my teachers and my professors. They have worked so hard with me to get me where I am. It would clearly be impossible to have a graduation without the teachers! I have had some particularly excellent teachers and professors, and without them I wouldn't graduate.
So you see, graduation, even when it is mainly for you...is not just for you. So many people had something to do with your education. Graduations are celebrations for all of academia!
Whether it be from 6th grade, high school, or college, the graduation ceremony is usually "for" someone.
In college I realized that you have the option of not walking...aka not crossing the stage in front of everyone to show off all your hard work...This idea is rather foreign to me.
Something else you should probably know as I write this is that I am graduating late: in December. My school does not have a ceremony in December. To "walk" I would have to come back in May. People keep asking me if I'm going to walk...Yes, and I will be walking for myself!
but first, let's look at this...
Graduations are for the family of the person graduating. They put up with a lot of stuff to get you where you are. They helped you study, put up with your stress, calmed you down, proof read your papers, heck they memorized multiplication tables with you (maybe even for 3 summers in a row). Some parent also spent a FORTUNE on your education...private school, college tuition, tutors? If your parents paid for you...shoot you owe it to them to walk across the stage so they can get all proud and teary eyed...they've earned it!
Graduations are for friends. Graduations are a time of celebration! Its a time when everyone can get together and celebrate each other. Its a time of good byes and wishing each other good luck. Graduation provides closure...
Graduations are for the individual. Come on, as a student you worked hard to get to that point. Show it to the world. Shake some hands, wear a silly looking hood, maybe even a few cords...show yourself off! School is hard; papers, tests, professors who dislike your writing style...listen learning is tough work and after all of that, a little recognition is nice.
...ok so why will I come back and walk next May? ...why didn't I just walk with my Associates Degree?
I will be walking for myself. Yes, I will also be walking for my family, and my friends...but in quite a large part I am walking for myself. College has been quite the roller coaster ride. I have worked hard to pay for school by myself, I have worked hard to get decent grades, I have worked hard to complete the Honors Program...its been rough...blood, sweat, and tears literally went into this education! I will be walking to show that I will have finally done it! Finally graduated. This graduation will be for me.
It will also be for my family. Shoot my family has certainly put up with so much garbage from me about school. Plus I know my parents would love to come out for it; show their support and get to see their daughter walk across the stage get a fancy folder, move a tassel and take a picture in front of tons of people.
My graduation will also be for my teachers and my professors. They have worked so hard with me to get me where I am. It would clearly be impossible to have a graduation without the teachers! I have had some particularly excellent teachers and professors, and without them I wouldn't graduate.
So you see, graduation, even when it is mainly for you...is not just for you. So many people had something to do with your education. Graduations are celebrations for all of academia!
Monday, April 22, 2013
Girl Pants
Ok so let's be honest...I've decided girl pants are designed to make you feel bad about yourself. If they are the right size for your waist, they are either too long or too short. If you gain one pound you suddenly have this belly that sits over the top of your jeans, but hey your butt looks big...but it won't stay in the pants...didn't want to show your bum to the whole world? Well I guess you shouldn't have worn pants...skirts forever...
Why don't girls have the same sizing system as guys?
The guys system rocks! They have a measurement for their length and for their waist. The closest we get is sometimes pants are sold in short, regular, and long. I think I'm somewhere between a short and a regular...what about us poor between size girls? We get the short end of that stick.
And as if your girl pants weren't already uncomfortably tight...and low cut...now you have to attempt to stick something in the pockets...a phone, some keys, an id, some medicine...who knows what...and it's not like you can hide the fact that it's there...
I have a nice pair of dark jeans that I got in the mall ... my first legit jeans in a long time...they are so dang tight that the left pocket has faded in the shape of my cellphone...no kidding
Girl pants are just not flattering...they are tight and uncomfortable. And they make you self conscious about your belly. No belly when you stand but the second you sit...there it is...you can't go up a size to stop that from happening because then your pants won't stay up. They show off too much of your butt and have no room to put stuff....
in conclusion girl pants are just a bad idea...and I have yet to figure out a solution...the end...your thoughts?
Why don't girls have the same sizing system as guys?
The guys system rocks! They have a measurement for their length and for their waist. The closest we get is sometimes pants are sold in short, regular, and long. I think I'm somewhere between a short and a regular...what about us poor between size girls? We get the short end of that stick.
And as if your girl pants weren't already uncomfortably tight...and low cut...now you have to attempt to stick something in the pockets...a phone, some keys, an id, some medicine...who knows what...and it's not like you can hide the fact that it's there...
I have a nice pair of dark jeans that I got in the mall ... my first legit jeans in a long time...they are so dang tight that the left pocket has faded in the shape of my cellphone...no kidding
Girl pants are just not flattering...they are tight and uncomfortable. And they make you self conscious about your belly. No belly when you stand but the second you sit...there it is...you can't go up a size to stop that from happening because then your pants won't stay up. They show off too much of your butt and have no room to put stuff....
in conclusion girl pants are just a bad idea...and I have yet to figure out a solution...the end...your thoughts?
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Sit at the foot of the Cross
So a few times in unrelated conversations with people I have been told to sit with the Eucharist, and love God, and let Him love me.
Let God love me? I thought I was doing that already.
No, apparently not, well not enough anyway.
Sit with God, just pray to Him. Are you letting Him love you?
For a little over a year now I have had a devotion to Our Blessed Mother as a model of motherhood for me; a model I can look up to when I become a mother. I also look to the Holy Family as a model family. But I wasn't going deep enough.
Mary is a mother, yes and the Mother of God, I can go off about that for forever. But what I learned lately is while yes I finally found my connection to Mary through the (hopefully) future delight of motherhood, She is a great model for me now.
Mary, the Mother of God raised Jesus, but she also followed Him. She sat with Him, spent time with Him, listened to Him, loved Him...
AND she let Him love her.
She sat at the foot of the cross and watched her son die. Even as Christ was dying, He was loving her, and He loves all of us. As He was dying...let me repeat that; as He was DYING, He took care of His mother. He made sure she had someone to care for her. And she let Him love her.
Sit in adoration sometime and pray on this. Christ looks on you like He looked on Mary; with love. He calls you...my daughter, my sister, my bride, my son, my brother, my beloved...why won't you let me love you?
Why won't you let me love you?
Can't you see that I love you? I suffered death on the cross for you, what more do you need? I love you. You, in yourself, in your very person. I love you. Let Me take your hurt. Let Me take your pain, your sorrow, your suffering, your trials, your temptations, your worries, your anxieties, your plans, your troubles...let Me take them. Do you not trust me? Why, what is keeping you back? Open up your heart. Let Me in.
Let God love me? I thought I was doing that already.
No, apparently not, well not enough anyway.
Sit with God, just pray to Him. Are you letting Him love you?
For a little over a year now I have had a devotion to Our Blessed Mother as a model of motherhood for me; a model I can look up to when I become a mother. I also look to the Holy Family as a model family. But I wasn't going deep enough.
Mary is a mother, yes and the Mother of God, I can go off about that for forever. But what I learned lately is while yes I finally found my connection to Mary through the (hopefully) future delight of motherhood, She is a great model for me now.
Mary, the Mother of God raised Jesus, but she also followed Him. She sat with Him, spent time with Him, listened to Him, loved Him...
AND she let Him love her.
She sat at the foot of the cross and watched her son die. Even as Christ was dying, He was loving her, and He loves all of us. As He was dying...let me repeat that; as He was DYING, He took care of His mother. He made sure she had someone to care for her. And she let Him love her.
Sit in adoration sometime and pray on this. Christ looks on you like He looked on Mary; with love. He calls you...my daughter, my sister, my bride, my son, my brother, my beloved...why won't you let me love you?
Why won't you let me love you?
Can't you see that I love you? I suffered death on the cross for you, what more do you need? I love you. You, in yourself, in your very person. I love you. Let Me take your hurt. Let Me take your pain, your sorrow, your suffering, your trials, your temptations, your worries, your anxieties, your plans, your troubles...let Me take them. Do you not trust me? Why, what is keeping you back? Open up your heart. Let Me in.
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Proactive vs. Reactive
I can still remember my high school history teacher (yup all of history you name it, I learned it from him US I, US II, World, Economics...the whole shabang) anyway I remember him telling our class about the difference between being proactive and being reactive.
being reactive...
Well that's a bad thing. Being reactive...as you can imagine...means to simply react to whatever comes your way. If something bad happens, you complain, you find as many people as you can to tell whats wrong...but you never do anything to fix the problem. You simply complain and expect the world to feel bad for you, and fix it for you.
well that doesn't help anyone. The world gets sick of hearing you complain. They don't want to constantly hear your problems, nor can they necessarily help you. Sometimes....well most times...it is better to be proactive...
Being proactive...
Am I a pro at this...NO...for sure not, but I try to do it just the same. Being proactive means that you try to do something about your problem. Instead of complaining about it you attempt to solve the problem; you keep trying to move forward.
I have had a LOT of stress causing issues this week. I cannot find a job for the summer: so much rejection. I cannot have the job I wan for next semester: more rejection. I cannot figure out how I am going to pay for my summer course...not a clue. I have 2 of my 5 PRAXIS exams on Saturday...it's like "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader" with my teaching license on the line...big stuff. It's just been a tough week.
Is it hard for me to stay proactive. Of course, but it's something I want to do.
So now what?
Now I keep looking for a job for the summer. Maybe the less desirable ones, but something, anything to pay the bills (speaking of which...if you live in the same area as me...know anyone hiring?). I'll call child care centers, part time places, grocery stores, heck I even called Parks and Recreation (they said call back later in the month). I keep moving forward.
Do I want to crawl in a corner and do nothing for about three days? Well ya, but will my problems go away? Nope, they will still be there when I come out of the black hole, so why go into it in the first place?
There are three more on campus jobs I can apply for for next semester, I will be looking into those.
Financial aid? I have a meeting tomorrow.
So thank-you, to my high school teacher, for showing me something that is useful to me four years later, and will be useful for the rest of my life, who knew that one "hidden curriculum" lesson would be such an important part of my life.
being reactive...
Well that's a bad thing. Being reactive...as you can imagine...means to simply react to whatever comes your way. If something bad happens, you complain, you find as many people as you can to tell whats wrong...but you never do anything to fix the problem. You simply complain and expect the world to feel bad for you, and fix it for you.
well that doesn't help anyone. The world gets sick of hearing you complain. They don't want to constantly hear your problems, nor can they necessarily help you. Sometimes....well most times...it is better to be proactive...
Being proactive...
Am I a pro at this...NO...for sure not, but I try to do it just the same. Being proactive means that you try to do something about your problem. Instead of complaining about it you attempt to solve the problem; you keep trying to move forward.
I have had a LOT of stress causing issues this week. I cannot find a job for the summer: so much rejection. I cannot have the job I wan for next semester: more rejection. I cannot figure out how I am going to pay for my summer course...not a clue. I have 2 of my 5 PRAXIS exams on Saturday...it's like "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader" with my teaching license on the line...big stuff. It's just been a tough week.
Is it hard for me to stay proactive. Of course, but it's something I want to do.
So now what?
Now I keep looking for a job for the summer. Maybe the less desirable ones, but something, anything to pay the bills (speaking of which...if you live in the same area as me...know anyone hiring?). I'll call child care centers, part time places, grocery stores, heck I even called Parks and Recreation (they said call back later in the month). I keep moving forward.
Do I want to crawl in a corner and do nothing for about three days? Well ya, but will my problems go away? Nope, they will still be there when I come out of the black hole, so why go into it in the first place?
There are three more on campus jobs I can apply for for next semester, I will be looking into those.
Financial aid? I have a meeting tomorrow.
So thank-you, to my high school teacher, for showing me something that is useful to me four years later, and will be useful for the rest of my life, who knew that one "hidden curriculum" lesson would be such an important part of my life.
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Wake up/Music/work/music/coffee break/work/lunch/work/class/dinner/night class/homework/music/sleep/
wake up/music/breakfast/talking/class/lunch/tutoring/homework/music/class/dinner/homework/rosary/
homework/music/sleep/wake up/music/work/coffee break/work/lunch/work/music/book club/music/dinner/
homework/laundry/intercessions/homework/sleep/wake up/music/breakfast/talking/lunch/tutoring/homework/
music/sleep/wake up/work/coffee break/work/lunch/change/talking/cleaning/music/mass/dinner/hang out/
sleep
This is a typical Monday-Friday in my life this semester. It is pretty much non-stop.
I am constantly moving from one thing to another. If I'm not at work, I'm in class or doing homework. Don't forget to add household commitments! There is also keeping up with life in the apartment, and the consistent urge to hang out and socialize.
Spare time?
What is that?
I guess when I have it I fill up my spare time with activities. That new drawing I wanted to work on. Practicing singing that new song. Running, running, running.
Almost everything thing I do, I do to music. I do homework to music. I listen to music as I drive the work truck around campus. I sing in the shower. I listen to music while I draw. I clean to music. I run to music. I'm listening to music as I write this blog post.
Noise.
Noise.
Noise.
Noise.
Noise.
I fill my life with so much noise, so much chaos, and so much stuff. Why? Well I enjoy it. I love to listen to some blink-182, some System of a Down, All American Rejects, Green Day, The Benjy Davis Project, The Format, Modest Mouse, Sara Bareilles, Michael Buble, Rise Against, Sum 41, The Academy is...
Noise.
Noise.
Noise.
Noise.
Noise.
SHHHHHHHHHHH. Quiet is good too!
It took a little while for me to figure it out. What I could do to make my life seem a little less busy. Every now and then, I just have to be quiet. I just need to take some time and sit in silence (well I mean I live with other people so probably just quiet and not silence). I just need to give my ears a break. I need to give my mind a second to process. Take a break, just sit there, and think.
I never really knew the value of quiet. I come from a large family. Quiet usually means that something is broken or someone is broken. Quiet means something is wrong. I've come to learn that as an adult, quiet is a beautiful thing, it is personal time. It is thoughts no one can take away. It is a second to breathe!
try it. Stop what you are doing, yes stop reading this post right now. pause that music. put your phone away. just sit there. Enjoy a second to yourself.
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How was it? do you feel better now? Maybe a little more relaxed? It's pleasant isn't it? you don't have someone else's thoughts being pumped into your mind. You can just focus on you, your thoughts, your needs, and your time. It's good right?
wake up/music/breakfast/talking/class/lunch/tutoring/homework/music/class/dinner/homework/rosary/
homework/music/sleep/wake up/music/work/coffee break/work/lunch/work/music/book club/music/dinner/
homework/laundry/intercessions/homework/sleep/wake up/music/breakfast/talking/lunch/tutoring/homework/
music/sleep/wake up/work/coffee break/work/lunch/change/talking/cleaning/music/mass/dinner/hang out/
sleep
This is a typical Monday-Friday in my life this semester. It is pretty much non-stop.
I am constantly moving from one thing to another. If I'm not at work, I'm in class or doing homework. Don't forget to add household commitments! There is also keeping up with life in the apartment, and the consistent urge to hang out and socialize.
Spare time?
What is that?
I guess when I have it I fill up my spare time with activities. That new drawing I wanted to work on. Practicing singing that new song. Running, running, running.
Almost everything thing I do, I do to music. I do homework to music. I listen to music as I drive the work truck around campus. I sing in the shower. I listen to music while I draw. I clean to music. I run to music. I'm listening to music as I write this blog post.
Noise.
Noise.
Noise.
Noise.
Noise.
I fill my life with so much noise, so much chaos, and so much stuff. Why? Well I enjoy it. I love to listen to some blink-182, some System of a Down, All American Rejects, Green Day, The Benjy Davis Project, The Format, Modest Mouse, Sara Bareilles, Michael Buble, Rise Against, Sum 41, The Academy is...
Noise.
Noise.
Noise.
Noise.
Noise.
SHHHHHHHHHHH. Quiet is good too!
It took a little while for me to figure it out. What I could do to make my life seem a little less busy. Every now and then, I just have to be quiet. I just need to take some time and sit in silence (well I mean I live with other people so probably just quiet and not silence). I just need to give my ears a break. I need to give my mind a second to process. Take a break, just sit there, and think.
I never really knew the value of quiet. I come from a large family. Quiet usually means that something is broken or someone is broken. Quiet means something is wrong. I've come to learn that as an adult, quiet is a beautiful thing, it is personal time. It is thoughts no one can take away. It is a second to breathe!
try it. Stop what you are doing, yes stop reading this post right now. pause that music. put your phone away. just sit there. Enjoy a second to yourself.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
How was it? do you feel better now? Maybe a little more relaxed? It's pleasant isn't it? you don't have someone else's thoughts being pumped into your mind. You can just focus on you, your thoughts, your needs, and your time. It's good right?
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Christian Single
Oh my goodness I'm still single? How long am I going to have to wait for a man to step up and sweep me off my feet? When will my future husband come along and show me who he is? When will someone here be a MAN? Oh man I'm a senior, if I want my MRS. degree I better get a boyfriend NOW!
Yes, I am a single woman living in a Christian world. Yes, I've felt like the above questions before (well ok the MRS. degree is a bit of an exaggeration), so many of us have. I, like so many women, seek a relationship with a kind, loving, strong, Christian man. I long to be with my husband, and I do indeed long for that intimacy between a husband and a wife. It is only natural.
Do my desires for a relationship mean I sit around moping about the fact that I am single? No, certainly not. Does it mean I give in to the "senior shuffle" and try to find a boyfriend before graduation? No. It also doesn't mean that I measure my worth based on my relationship status, or on whether or not men find me attractive.
I embrace my current status as single.
I know, you're thinking "what does that even mean?"
Well lets start with a few weeks ago I read a blog post written by one of my good friends. At the time I thought she made some rather good points and then I just moved on. Well this post came back into my thoughts recently, particularly the part she brought up about how hard it is to use self control once you find your "other half."
Think about it, if you want intimacy now and you're not in a relationship, how much harder is it going to be when you are in a relationship? So much harder! The desire will become much stronger, the temptations will be harder to fight, and limits will NEED to be set. Now this does not mean that I am afraid of being in a relationship because of the challenge. What it means is that I can take this time to prepare myself for a relationship. I can take this time to pray for my husband, and to dive deeper into my faith. I can also take this time to learn more about myself and to become more mature.
I am in college still, I am young! I also have learned something about myself: I am extremely independent. I can't help it, I need to figure things out for myself. Being single makes me able to do this. I can decide what I want to do for a living, where I want to go, and what kind of job I will apply for. If I was financially able to, I seriously considered two years of volunteer work on the Mercy Ships in Africa. Now finances may hold me back, but getting settled in an area with my boyfriend/fiance/husband will not because I don't have one. I like this. I like being able to do what I want and be in control.
If a valid relationship presents itself will I consider it? Yes, but not because I am lonely, or to attempt to fill some "void" created because of my singleness. I would consider it if I felt the relationship could go somewhere. Does it mean I would marry the next person I go on a date with? Just because I want to get married does not mean I will only date someone I "know" I am going to marry some day. How can you even know that if you haven't been on a single date?
I feel like many Christian women are so focused on marriage, that they skip the dating part. Going on a date does not mean you are getting married. If you are hearing wedding bells on your first date, you may want to get your ears checked. WAKE UP LADIES! One date is not an indication of what married life will be like. Married life is a wonderful beautiful thing, but I am not ready for it yet!
In the meantime I will wait, at times not so patiently, for the right man. I will be open to dating, but will not consider a great first date a reason to marry a man. I will also not lower my standards. I know what is important to me, and I will not settle for less simply to have a boyfriend. I will consider my emotions, and the emotions of the men I interact with on a regular basis (if you won't date him, why flirt with him?). And I certainly will not think any less of myself because I am single. And neither should you :)
Yes, I am a single woman living in a Christian world. Yes, I've felt like the above questions before (well ok the MRS. degree is a bit of an exaggeration), so many of us have. I, like so many women, seek a relationship with a kind, loving, strong, Christian man. I long to be with my husband, and I do indeed long for that intimacy between a husband and a wife. It is only natural.
Do my desires for a relationship mean I sit around moping about the fact that I am single? No, certainly not. Does it mean I give in to the "senior shuffle" and try to find a boyfriend before graduation? No. It also doesn't mean that I measure my worth based on my relationship status, or on whether or not men find me attractive.
I embrace my current status as single.
I know, you're thinking "what does that even mean?"
Well lets start with a few weeks ago I read a blog post written by one of my good friends. At the time I thought she made some rather good points and then I just moved on. Well this post came back into my thoughts recently, particularly the part she brought up about how hard it is to use self control once you find your "other half."
Think about it, if you want intimacy now and you're not in a relationship, how much harder is it going to be when you are in a relationship? So much harder! The desire will become much stronger, the temptations will be harder to fight, and limits will NEED to be set. Now this does not mean that I am afraid of being in a relationship because of the challenge. What it means is that I can take this time to prepare myself for a relationship. I can take this time to pray for my husband, and to dive deeper into my faith. I can also take this time to learn more about myself and to become more mature.
I am in college still, I am young! I also have learned something about myself: I am extremely independent. I can't help it, I need to figure things out for myself. Being single makes me able to do this. I can decide what I want to do for a living, where I want to go, and what kind of job I will apply for. If I was financially able to, I seriously considered two years of volunteer work on the Mercy Ships in Africa. Now finances may hold me back, but getting settled in an area with my boyfriend/fiance/husband will not because I don't have one. I like this. I like being able to do what I want and be in control.
If a valid relationship presents itself will I consider it? Yes, but not because I am lonely, or to attempt to fill some "void" created because of my singleness. I would consider it if I felt the relationship could go somewhere. Does it mean I would marry the next person I go on a date with? Just because I want to get married does not mean I will only date someone I "know" I am going to marry some day. How can you even know that if you haven't been on a single date?
I feel like many Christian women are so focused on marriage, that they skip the dating part. Going on a date does not mean you are getting married. If you are hearing wedding bells on your first date, you may want to get your ears checked. WAKE UP LADIES! One date is not an indication of what married life will be like. Married life is a wonderful beautiful thing, but I am not ready for it yet!
In the meantime I will wait, at times not so patiently, for the right man. I will be open to dating, but will not consider a great first date a reason to marry a man. I will also not lower my standards. I know what is important to me, and I will not settle for less simply to have a boyfriend. I will consider my emotions, and the emotions of the men I interact with on a regular basis (if you won't date him, why flirt with him?). And I certainly will not think any less of myself because I am single. And neither should you :)
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Don't just say it, pray it!
I've been to many masses in my day, and I've noticed something. People, including myself, tend to just say the prayers of the mass. It becomes rehearsed, memorized, boring.
Take a second. Think about what you are saying...
"I believe in..."
"Thy will be done..."
"pray for us sinners..."
"Peace be with you."
Do you mean these things? Do you just say them because you are supposed to?
I've caught myself just saying the words because it was time to. It was that part of the mass, or that part of the prayer meeting, where I am supposed to say something. It's a terrible thing to notice. Wait, wait, what did I even say? Oh snap I didn't even realize those words came out of my mouth.
It's times like those I need to redirect my attention back to the prayers that I am saying. I need to take a second, remember where I am and pay attention to the words that are coming out of my mouth. I need to not only pay attention to the words I'm saying, but I need to MEAN WHAT I SAY! I need to realize that the prayers I am saying are part of my faith, and reciting them is important to my faith. It is important to believe what I am saying.
Next time you are praying, take a second to pay attention to what you are saying.
Take a second. Think about what you are saying...
"I believe in..."
"Thy will be done..."
"pray for us sinners..."
"Peace be with you."
Do you mean these things? Do you just say them because you are supposed to?
I've caught myself just saying the words because it was time to. It was that part of the mass, or that part of the prayer meeting, where I am supposed to say something. It's a terrible thing to notice. Wait, wait, what did I even say? Oh snap I didn't even realize those words came out of my mouth.
It's times like those I need to redirect my attention back to the prayers that I am saying. I need to take a second, remember where I am and pay attention to the words that are coming out of my mouth. I need to not only pay attention to the words I'm saying, but I need to MEAN WHAT I SAY! I need to realize that the prayers I am saying are part of my faith, and reciting them is important to my faith. It is important to believe what I am saying.
Next time you are praying, take a second to pay attention to what you are saying.
Sunday, March 17, 2013
A week at my sister's
So it's spring break! wooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
I'm spending the week at my sister and brother in law's new place! It's great to see them :)
Together the three of us are learning how to cook gluten-free style. I'm okay at cooking, I know a few things and have lived in an apartment for a semester and a half now, but my gluten free skills are limited. Before this week I made gluten free pancakes...this week is a learning adventure for all of us.
Here are a few of the things we've made.
Gluten free pizza.
We made this using Bob's Red Mill Gluten Free Pizza Crust mix. We followed the directions on the bag to make the crust, although if you do this make sure you don't accidentally make cinnamon rolls (the mix can also make that). When they say using wet hands to spread the dough, they really mean dripping wet. Water on your hands for this mix works like flour with normal dough. Then just use tomato sauce or paste for the sauce, your favorite cheese, and toppings and you're good to go, a yummy pizza!
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Gluten free breaded pork chops
I know what you're thinking, breaded pork chops that are gluten free? That isn't possible!
Well it's actually really easy! All you have to do is use tater tots for bread!
First put tater tots on a tray (the amount needed depends on how many pork chops...overestimate just in case) Cook those according to the directions on the package. Take them out, and mush them into a bowl. Yes mush them, break them apart into little pieces. The outsides will be crispy and the insides, well not so much, but that's okay because they will be crispy the second bake around. Soak the raw pork in water for about ten minutes while you perform the next step, this will prevent dry pork. Next choose your favorite spices, we used a chipotle mix which was delicious. Season the tater tots to taste.
After ten minutes drain the pork. Scramble some eggs, this will help the tots stick to the meat. Put some cooking spray on the baking tray (you'll thank me for this later), it doesn't matter which kind. Dip the chops (one at a time) in the eggs, and then place them on the baking tray. Because its tater tots and not bread we couldn't get the tots to stick to the pork by dipping the raw meat in the mush. To solve this problem we just scooped the mush onto the top of the pork chops. Put the chops in the oven and time it according to what size chops you have (we had thin chops, so we baked them at 425 for 35 minutes).
We also had rice which we started when there was 20 minutes left, and corn when there was 5 minutes left. When the time is up take your pork out of the oven, put a piece on a plate, add a few side dishes, pour out some apple sauce and ta-da a yummy pork dinner without any gluten!
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Gluten Free Tacos
(use corn shells and NOT flour tortillas!)
We made tacos. That's super easy! Brown some ground beef, the higher the % of fat the juicer the meat, the higher the % lean, the less juicy (and probably healthier) the meat. If you are going to warm your taco shells in the oven the best time would probably be right before you add the spices (if you have a taco kit follow the heating instructions, if not a low temperature for a short period of time works just fine).When the meat is brown throw in your spices. We used the chipotle spice from our pork and chili powder, and salt and pepper. If you get a taco kit it will come with mix. Stir in the spice. Once the spices are mixed your meat is ready to go. Prepare your tacos for eating using the beef, and any other toppings you want (lettuce, tomatoes onions, cheese sauce etc.) Enjoy
(no picture of tacos)
Yummy bbq chicken!
it's way easier than you would think to make delicious bbq chicken! Step one get some chicken, if it's frozen, thaw it out. Once it is thaw put it on a cutting board. Stab the heck out of that thing. To stab it you can use a knife and then a fork. Now it should still resemble the piece of chicken you started with but just the same put a lot of holes in it for the flavor to soak into. Put bbq sauce of your choice in a zip-lock bag. Put the chicken in the bag with the sauce. Add some water, not too much but just enough to help the sauce sink into the chicken. Put your bag-o-chicken in the fridge for about an hour. At this point you should probably look up the appropriate cooking temperature/ time for your slab of chicken. (For chicken breast cook at 375 for 45 minutes). Plan accordingly! After about 45 minutes of the chicken being in the fridge pre-heat the oven. Bake the chicken. Think ahead about your sides. I did rice again (let's be honest it's fairly easy) and peas. Take your chicken out of the oven. Cut it to make sure it is cooked all the way. If not, cook for another five minutes and check again (but don't wait too long or you will dry out the chicken!).
Sorry no picture of this yummy one, but hey who knew these tasty treats were gluten free?!?
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(use corn shells and NOT flour tortillas!)
We made tacos. That's super easy! Brown some ground beef, the higher the % of fat the juicer the meat, the higher the % lean, the less juicy (and probably healthier) the meat. If you are going to warm your taco shells in the oven the best time would probably be right before you add the spices (if you have a taco kit follow the heating instructions, if not a low temperature for a short period of time works just fine).When the meat is brown throw in your spices. We used the chipotle spice from our pork and chili powder, and salt and pepper. If you get a taco kit it will come with mix. Stir in the spice. Once the spices are mixed your meat is ready to go. Prepare your tacos for eating using the beef, and any other toppings you want (lettuce, tomatoes onions, cheese sauce etc.) Enjoy
(no picture of tacos)
Yummy bbq chicken!
it's way easier than you would think to make delicious bbq chicken! Step one get some chicken, if it's frozen, thaw it out. Once it is thaw put it on a cutting board. Stab the heck out of that thing. To stab it you can use a knife and then a fork. Now it should still resemble the piece of chicken you started with but just the same put a lot of holes in it for the flavor to soak into. Put bbq sauce of your choice in a zip-lock bag. Put the chicken in the bag with the sauce. Add some water, not too much but just enough to help the sauce sink into the chicken. Put your bag-o-chicken in the fridge for about an hour. At this point you should probably look up the appropriate cooking temperature/ time for your slab of chicken. (For chicken breast cook at 375 for 45 minutes). Plan accordingly! After about 45 minutes of the chicken being in the fridge pre-heat the oven. Bake the chicken. Think ahead about your sides. I did rice again (let's be honest it's fairly easy) and peas. Take your chicken out of the oven. Cut it to make sure it is cooked all the way. If not, cook for another five minutes and check again (but don't wait too long or you will dry out the chicken!).
Sorry no picture of this yummy one, but hey who knew these tasty treats were gluten free?!?
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
A "good" cry
What is this thing other girls talk about...the good cry?
I don't understand it, I hate crying. For me crying just results in puffy eyelids and a bloody nose.
I was talking to a guy friend of mine about this. We don't understand. I've heard there is some benefit...psychological maybe?
I read an article, er let's be honest...part of an article...about crying. It says that when you cry emotional tears (vs. reflex tears) toxins and stress hormones are released from your body. It helps us to release stress from our systems. It cannot take the cause of the stress out, but can provide a momentary relief.
I can understand the relief caused by releasing stress hormones, I mean those are nasty things. But instead of that stress, I am left with a headache and a lot of explaining to do. If someone finds out that you were crying, they want to know why and I don't usually feel like explaining myself. That just brings the stress right back! I don't like it, not one bit. Isn't there a better way to release those stress hormones?
A different article suggests that exercise allows the body to produce more endorphin's and less stress hormones. I don't know about you, but I much prefer exercising to crying.
What do you think? Is there such a thing as a good cry? I'd love to read your opinion!
I don't understand it, I hate crying. For me crying just results in puffy eyelids and a bloody nose.
I was talking to a guy friend of mine about this. We don't understand. I've heard there is some benefit...psychological maybe?
I read an article, er let's be honest...part of an article...about crying. It says that when you cry emotional tears (vs. reflex tears) toxins and stress hormones are released from your body. It helps us to release stress from our systems. It cannot take the cause of the stress out, but can provide a momentary relief.
I can understand the relief caused by releasing stress hormones, I mean those are nasty things. But instead of that stress, I am left with a headache and a lot of explaining to do. If someone finds out that you were crying, they want to know why and I don't usually feel like explaining myself. That just brings the stress right back! I don't like it, not one bit. Isn't there a better way to release those stress hormones?
A different article suggests that exercise allows the body to produce more endorphin's and less stress hormones. I don't know about you, but I much prefer exercising to crying.
What do you think? Is there such a thing as a good cry? I'd love to read your opinion!
Thursday, February 28, 2013
I am not worthy
"Lord I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed."
Take a second to think about this. As Catholics we say this phrase at mass, when we are preparing for communion. This is the newest translation of this phrase, and the one we use today. Not too long ago the phrase was "Lord I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be healed."
When I was little (and using the old translation) I used to think that it meant if my body wasn't well, it would be healed when I received the Eucharist. "Only say the word and I shall be healed." I thought "Lord if you say the word...whatever that word is...I won't be sick anymore. If you say that word Lord, I'll be all good. If I am sick my body isn't good enough so you can say the word and fix that."
What a silly little girl I was. Jesus doesn't mind if we are sick!
I like the new translation of the phrase. "I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof..."
At first I was like...what am I now, a house? I just wasn't sure that I liked this new translation even though it was closer to the original wording. Why does my roof matter?
Think about your life. We are all sinners, as unfortunate as that is, it's true. Our lives are messy! Now think about a house. It could be clean, but it is natural for a house to get messy sometimes. Would you want to have a visit from God if your house was messy? I know I wouldn't! I would spend the whole visit apologizing for the mess and trying to secretly clean as we went. Maybe if we ate I would was a few more dishes than we used and hope He didn't notice.
Now if your life is a house, and sin is clutter and mess, dust and filth, would you want God to come into a messy house? We admit in this phrase that we sin; that we are messy. No matter how hard I try, I know there is sinful clutter in my life. I am a sinner, God is, well, God. I am not worthy that that should receive the body, blood, soul, and divinity of Jesus Christ, my perfect savior, into my own body and life.
"...but only say the word and my soul shall be healed."
I like the new emphasis on my soul, in fact I have unintentionally gained the habit of putting emphasis on these words when I say the phrase at mass. This is where I was confused as a child. What is being healed? Your soul.
Christ can heal you! He can help you fight the temptations in your life. With just His word He can save you. Christ can help you clear out that clutter, that sin, that filth, those things standing in the way of you spending time with God. By saying this phrase we are asking for this help; for this healing.
So when you put the two parts back together...
"Lord I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed."
...you are saying "Christ I am a sinner, I fill my life with sin and give into temptation, but with your help, my soul will be clean."
Think about it the next time you are at mass. Don't just say the words, pray them. Talk to God and ask him for help!
Take a second to think about this. As Catholics we say this phrase at mass, when we are preparing for communion. This is the newest translation of this phrase, and the one we use today. Not too long ago the phrase was "Lord I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be healed."
When I was little (and using the old translation) I used to think that it meant if my body wasn't well, it would be healed when I received the Eucharist. "Only say the word and I shall be healed." I thought "Lord if you say the word...whatever that word is...I won't be sick anymore. If you say that word Lord, I'll be all good. If I am sick my body isn't good enough so you can say the word and fix that."
What a silly little girl I was. Jesus doesn't mind if we are sick!
I like the new translation of the phrase. "I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof..."
At first I was like...what am I now, a house? I just wasn't sure that I liked this new translation even though it was closer to the original wording. Why does my roof matter?
Think about your life. We are all sinners, as unfortunate as that is, it's true. Our lives are messy! Now think about a house. It could be clean, but it is natural for a house to get messy sometimes. Would you want to have a visit from God if your house was messy? I know I wouldn't! I would spend the whole visit apologizing for the mess and trying to secretly clean as we went. Maybe if we ate I would was a few more dishes than we used and hope He didn't notice.
Now if your life is a house, and sin is clutter and mess, dust and filth, would you want God to come into a messy house? We admit in this phrase that we sin; that we are messy. No matter how hard I try, I know there is sinful clutter in my life. I am a sinner, God is, well, God. I am not worthy that that should receive the body, blood, soul, and divinity of Jesus Christ, my perfect savior, into my own body and life.
"...but only say the word and my soul shall be healed."
I like the new emphasis on my soul, in fact I have unintentionally gained the habit of putting emphasis on these words when I say the phrase at mass. This is where I was confused as a child. What is being healed? Your soul.
Christ can heal you! He can help you fight the temptations in your life. With just His word He can save you. Christ can help you clear out that clutter, that sin, that filth, those things standing in the way of you spending time with God. By saying this phrase we are asking for this help; for this healing.
So when you put the two parts back together...
"Lord I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed."
...you are saying "Christ I am a sinner, I fill my life with sin and give into temptation, but with your help, my soul will be clean."
Think about it the next time you are at mass. Don't just say the words, pray them. Talk to God and ask him for help!
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Confession
You stand in line, maybe for so long that you decide to sit on the floor instead. The priests start to walk into the chapel or the church. They look at the line, maybe they are thinking about how long it is, maybe they are thinking they are glad to see so many people asking forgiveness for their sins. You don't know what they are thinking, and you know full well how long the line is. Several people are behind you in line but its the people in front of you that are on your mind. Each person in line in front of you means more time.
More time to sit in your sinfulness. Maybe you did an examination of conscious before getting in line. You sit in line with those sins on your mind, maybe written on a little piece of paper shoved in your pocket. Maybe you didn't do an examination beforehand and now that you are in line your sins are running through your mind and now you start to feel anxious.
The line moves.
Your stomach is filled with knots and butterflies that try to fly through those knots. All you can think about is telling the priest the awful things you have done; the ways in which you have hurt Christ, and His Church.
Your turn is next, you watch the priests to see who will be your confessor. The priest on the left over there finishes and you make your way over to him. You follow the format, you know the drill. "Bless me father for I have sinned..." and continue on to say all of your sins, all of your dirt and filth. There, you've said it, you admitted that you are a sinner and did in fact do some bad things, and you ask for forgiveness.
The priest then talks to you, you try very hard to pay attention because you know that this is important. Maybe he is trying to help you with a particular sin you struggle with. Maybe he is telling you that you are a good person and he is glad you came to confession today to show God that you love Him. The priest gives you your penance and asks you to make a good Act of Contrition. You do so and then are absolved of your sins.
You are forgiven.
You leave the priest in wonder. How great is God that He can just forgive my sins? He is so great and loving. What a wonderful privilege it is to be a member of the Catholic faith, where confession is available, and forgiveness is given. How awesome to receive the graces to fight temptation and try and live a better life. You do your penance with a lighter heart, knowing that you are forgiven, and the Christ loves you.
The knots are gone, the butterflies have flown away. You are left with a smile and a prayer.
You pray for the perseverance to do well, to fight the good fight. You pray in thanksgiving for forgiveness, and you pray for the strength to forgive others as Christ has just forgiven you. What a powerful sacrament confession is! Cherish it and be grateful!
More time to sit in your sinfulness. Maybe you did an examination of conscious before getting in line. You sit in line with those sins on your mind, maybe written on a little piece of paper shoved in your pocket. Maybe you didn't do an examination beforehand and now that you are in line your sins are running through your mind and now you start to feel anxious.
The line moves.
Your stomach is filled with knots and butterflies that try to fly through those knots. All you can think about is telling the priest the awful things you have done; the ways in which you have hurt Christ, and His Church.
Your turn is next, you watch the priests to see who will be your confessor. The priest on the left over there finishes and you make your way over to him. You follow the format, you know the drill. "Bless me father for I have sinned..." and continue on to say all of your sins, all of your dirt and filth. There, you've said it, you admitted that you are a sinner and did in fact do some bad things, and you ask for forgiveness.
The priest then talks to you, you try very hard to pay attention because you know that this is important. Maybe he is trying to help you with a particular sin you struggle with. Maybe he is telling you that you are a good person and he is glad you came to confession today to show God that you love Him. The priest gives you your penance and asks you to make a good Act of Contrition. You do so and then are absolved of your sins.
You are forgiven.
You leave the priest in wonder. How great is God that He can just forgive my sins? He is so great and loving. What a wonderful privilege it is to be a member of the Catholic faith, where confession is available, and forgiveness is given. How awesome to receive the graces to fight temptation and try and live a better life. You do your penance with a lighter heart, knowing that you are forgiven, and the Christ loves you.
The knots are gone, the butterflies have flown away. You are left with a smile and a prayer.
You pray for the perseverance to do well, to fight the good fight. You pray in thanksgiving for forgiveness, and you pray for the strength to forgive others as Christ has just forgiven you. What a powerful sacrament confession is! Cherish it and be grateful!
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Why in the world do I run?
So I like to run, a lot of people know this...but why, why do I do it?
Running hurts, it triggers my asthma, it takes time out of the day, its not like I actually need to lose weight and my manual labor job keeps me in shape...and yet I do it. When I can't run because I'm injured, or its too cold for my asthma I miss it.
I've been running for what feels like forever. I started running in the seventh grade, mostly because my sister did before me. She liked it, it motivated her...and you get a cool sweatshirt...so hey why the heck not...I gave the running thing a try.
And I liked it.
I liked the rush and the crowds and sprinting to the finish. I liked running in the mud and getting all gross, and I liked being part of the team.
Running was hard in high school, because I went to one of THOSE schools. You know the schools without any sports...super lame I know. So I ran for the local high school - the regular one. I missed practice every day, missed most of outdoor track season, and high school is when I developed asthma...phew running got a lot harder when I couldn't breathe! Indoor track was the worst! That air was so stale and yucky that even a person without asthma had trouble breathing.
I kept running though, purely because I wanted the 9 pin award (achieving 9 varsity pins in your high school career). I finally got it and then I stopped running. I had no more reason for it.
I decided not to run in college because of my asthma. Athletically induced asthma takes the fun right out of running! And then something happened...I had to run again, I just couldn't not. A nice day would come along and I would think man this is a nice day for a run. Most people think "hmm this is a nice day to sit outside doing absolutely nothing," but not me my mind went to running.
So I started running again, very slowly (at least I thought it was slowly). Around campus a few times, and then I wasn't tired so I kept going. I had no far I was running I just went for it. I was asked to run in the memorial race on campus by a few of my friends they thought it would be fun. I originally turned them down because, well, I was afraid I couldn't do a 5K yet. I looked at the course map and found out the lap I'd been running is just under a mile long. The day before I was asked to run the 5K I ran 8 laps...well that pretty much settled it, I was going to run again.
I ran the 5K very slowly but I had a new goal: run 10 miles without using my inhaler by the end of the next semester. I had a goal again and running became fun. I ran slow, but steady and completed my goal with just days left in the semester. I was very happy.
Since then I ran 3 more 5K races (another memorial on campus, a memorial at home and the Color Me RAD 5K). I have also started increasing my speed, but then injury took over and I am anxiously awaiting the return of proper running weather so I can start again.
So why do I do it? Simply because I like it. I work towards goals and improving myself. Blaring music while running also makes it quite enjoyable.
Running hurts, it triggers my asthma, it takes time out of the day, its not like I actually need to lose weight and my manual labor job keeps me in shape...and yet I do it. When I can't run because I'm injured, or its too cold for my asthma I miss it.
I've been running for what feels like forever. I started running in the seventh grade, mostly because my sister did before me. She liked it, it motivated her...and you get a cool sweatshirt...so hey why the heck not...I gave the running thing a try.
And I liked it.
I liked the rush and the crowds and sprinting to the finish. I liked running in the mud and getting all gross, and I liked being part of the team.
Running was hard in high school, because I went to one of THOSE schools. You know the schools without any sports...super lame I know. So I ran for the local high school - the regular one. I missed practice every day, missed most of outdoor track season, and high school is when I developed asthma...phew running got a lot harder when I couldn't breathe! Indoor track was the worst! That air was so stale and yucky that even a person without asthma had trouble breathing.
I kept running though, purely because I wanted the 9 pin award (achieving 9 varsity pins in your high school career). I finally got it and then I stopped running. I had no more reason for it.
I decided not to run in college because of my asthma. Athletically induced asthma takes the fun right out of running! And then something happened...I had to run again, I just couldn't not. A nice day would come along and I would think man this is a nice day for a run. Most people think "hmm this is a nice day to sit outside doing absolutely nothing," but not me my mind went to running.
So I started running again, very slowly (at least I thought it was slowly). Around campus a few times, and then I wasn't tired so I kept going. I had no far I was running I just went for it. I was asked to run in the memorial race on campus by a few of my friends they thought it would be fun. I originally turned them down because, well, I was afraid I couldn't do a 5K yet. I looked at the course map and found out the lap I'd been running is just under a mile long. The day before I was asked to run the 5K I ran 8 laps...well that pretty much settled it, I was going to run again.
I ran the 5K very slowly but I had a new goal: run 10 miles without using my inhaler by the end of the next semester. I had a goal again and running became fun. I ran slow, but steady and completed my goal with just days left in the semester. I was very happy.
Since then I ran 3 more 5K races (another memorial on campus, a memorial at home and the Color Me RAD 5K). I have also started increasing my speed, but then injury took over and I am anxiously awaiting the return of proper running weather so I can start again.
So why do I do it? Simply because I like it. I work towards goals and improving myself. Blaring music while running also makes it quite enjoyable.
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