Wednesday, June 3, 2020

Louisiana Taught Me

Louisiana Taught Me
-Brittany Hennigan

Louisiana taught me about a culture that's vibrant and bright;
where there's music day and night,
and a little jazz makes everything alright

Louisiana taught me that actually, I like spicy food.

Louisiana taught me how to conversate
without adding concern, igniting hate, 
or trying to appropriate.

Louisiana taught me how to accept feedback.

Lousiana taught me how to learn and grow
with cultures different than my own;
how to call this place home.

Louisiana taught me that black is beauty,
black is strength,
and that representation matters.

Louisiana taught me it's ok to need help.

Louisiana taught me what to do
when your friend is feeling more than just blue
and he brings a gun to your house 
that he tried to use on himself

Louisiana taught me how to use a calm tone,
get him ready to go home,
and then get the police on the phone.

Louisiana taught me about friendship

Louisiana taught me that good friends stay by your side
when you drop to the floor and you cry
because a loved one just died,
and you've only experienced that pain once before.

Louisiana taught me that good friends talk it through
and the great ones stay true
and become more like family soon

Louisiana taught me how to teach

Louisiana taught me that teaching is more than technique
that each child is unique
and as an advocate they need me

Louisiana taught me how to survive in the heat

Louisiana taught me how to say hi
To that random girl or guy
as they pass by
because they made contact of the eyes

Louisiana taught me
Louisiana taught me





Fun disclaimer!
This blog and the posts contained within may or may not reflect the views/beliefs of my employer. 

Sunday, March 8, 2020

That One Car Commercial

There's this car commercial going around right now...

We don't know much about the woman in the ad. All we know is the type of car she drives, that she has a long commute through obscenely scenic places and teaches P.E.

We don't know her relationship status if she has a family or the type of neighborhood she lives in...and for that I am glad.

Because for once I can see myself in an advertisement.

I'm not being told that if I buy this car I will magically find a husband, 2-3 kids and live in an upper-middle-class home with large windows, an absurdly well-lit dining room and an overabundance of food on the table for my happy laughing family to feast on.

As a single woman, who grew up poor I don't see myself in those ads. Buying a car will not magically make my life fall into the place that society says it should be in. Buying a car will, in fact, put me in debt rather than making a middle-class family appear out of thin air.

Buying a car won't suddenly allow me to pull up into the driveway of my gigantic home. Nope, I will still be pulling into my "suitable for now" apartment. That's ok. I'm in a good place for me right now, especially considering all of the factors that were stacked up against me. I'm doing very well considering my background, that's not the problem.

The problem is that advertisements are clearly set towards nuclear families in the middle class. Those of us who were not, and/or are not middle class cannot see ourselves in those advertisements. Nevermind living a non-nuclear lifestyle. Single adult? nope, not in advertising. Child of divorce? nope, not in advertising.

The best part about this car commercial is that I don't know who this woman is. She could be anyone. Now, her absurdly scenic drive and the fact that she is buying a brand new car rather than a used one would suggest that she is, indeed, middle class. But I don't know for sure. And I don't get the idea that buying the car will magically make me middle class. Let's be honest, in the commercial she is a teacher....and the general consensus throughout the country is that teachers aren't being paid well so maybe the car is affordable? Maybe that's what they're going for? Whatever it is that they're going for I'm grateful for the ad.

Fun new disclaimer!
This blog and the posts contained within may or may not reflect the views/beliefs of my employer. 

Tuesday, February 11, 2020

It is not ok to touch the hair!

To set the scene: I've probably got a dress on, and my hair is down. I have natural ringlet curls.

I'm talking with a small group of people...we are talking and this middle-aged man walks by. As he is walking by he pulls on an entire strand of ringlet curls.

The whole thing he just up and pulls on it.

I don't think too too much about it, that is until it happens again....and again....it happens several times on different occasions (see, this is happening in a place I frequent on a weekly basis).

I say to a friend: I don't like it when he does that. I don't know why he thinks he can just pull on my hair. She replies....yeah, but that's just him, he's like that.

As if it is ok. Just brushes it off.

Now, I don't know how well all of my readers know me, but I have a pretty decent personal bubble and it takes some serious trust for me to willingly let you into my personal space.

So there we are, talking....and it happens again

I see him walking towards us. I think...maybe he'll walk past and nothing will happen, maybe he is on his way somewhere. I feel my back and shoulders tense up as I figure that is wishful thinking and he is probably going to walk past me and pull my hair.

Ah, no such luck here he is, hand comes up and...

"I just love your curly hair" *yank*


(feel uncomfortable yet?)

So this time I decide....I'm going to stand up for myself and be upfront and not let this build up any further......ok here it goes.....oh gosh I hate confrontation....but it needs to be said....its just not ok to go around yanking on people's curls....

"Actually, I don't like it when you do that."

phew I said it

"Well," he says, looking shocked as he continues on his journey past me, not even stopping to address the issue rather acknowledging I've spoken without giving the respect of any semblance of a conversation "I have sisters and I did it to all of them"

As if that makes it ok? Do you feel uncomfortable for me yet? He invaded my personal space...without permission...and just brushed it off as ok because he also does it to his sisters? Does that feel uncomfortable to you? It feels very uncomfortable to me I do not like it and I am glad that I voiced that I do not like it ....but here is the thing...

I am a white woman.

I am a white woman, and though it has happened to me on occasion that someone I have not given permission has just up and touched or pulled on my curls because they think that they look cool, it happens at an alarming rate to black people.

I was uncomfortable, and you may have been uncomfortable for me, but have you ever sat and watched a white person walk up to a black person and just start touching their hair? White people, we tend to be fascinated by the many styles and textures that black people wear atop their heads. This does not give us a right to touch their hair. This does not make it ok to touch their hair.

And in case you were wondering...

It is not ok to touch their hair just because you are asking them to touch it as you are already doing so.


Touching someone's hair is an intimate thing. You have to be close to a person to touch their hair. You have to be close, after all it is attached directly to their head.

No, it is not ok to touch the hair if they are wearing extensions.

It is never ok to touch someone's hair without permission

No, it is not socially acceptable to ask a complete stranger if it is ok to touch their hair.

Now if your friend runs up to you super excited like "I used a new hair product and my hair is super soft you've got to feel it!"  Well, that is a different story, in this case, yes you can touch their hair because they asked you to.

In any other situation do not touch their hair. No, not braids, not when they wear their hair in a puff, or in cornrows or twists. Basically just don't do it. It is uncomfortable and not ok.

Instead, maybe take some time to reflect on why you thought this was ok, or how you would feel if it happened to you repeatedly. Maybe instead try to develop a relationship with the person. Ask them about themselves! Maybe treat them like a human being instead of an object.


Fun new disclaimer!
This blog and the posts contained within may or may not reflect the views/beliefs of my employer.