Do I know my audience?

Easy answer...no

All throughout school I was told "Know your audience."  A typical teacher phrase.

What does it mean? It means you should know who is reading your stuff...if you're writing about a book...you should know if your audience is reading to learn about the book because they haven't read it and they want to know about it...you should know if they are reading because they are looking for your interpretation of the book...basically has your reader read the book before or not....how much background info do you have to put into the writing in order for it to make sense to your reader...

Well ok I don't usually write about books...but I still sit here wondering...who is my audience?

It is always interesting for me when someone comes up to me and is all like...wow I've been reading your blog I really liked X,Y, and Z.

or maybe its just a casual mention about my blog and I'm all like "Whoah I had no clue you read that!"

Or the moment when you get "so and so was talking to me all about your blog the other day..."

Who are you people that I am writing for? friends, acquaintances, complete strangers?

WHO ARE YOU?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

I really just started this as a place to write down extended thoughts of things I think about...writing down thoughts about thinking...yes, I know what you are thinking... I am so intelligent and eloquent

anyway it started out as something for me and if other people wanted to read it they could...if not ... whatever...but as I keep going I grow more and more curious about who is reading this blog...do they like it? Do they wish I could write about something in particular? Do they have a way to contact me?

well I suppose you could contact me via the comments...I don't really check the email associated with blog all that often...lets be honest I made it when I was little so giving out the name to people is embarrassing...My google plus circles are lookin' really small so not too many people can contact me that way...but I suppose there are ways for you to contact me.

I'm not even completely sure where I was going with this post...I really just have been thinking about it a bit. Its interesting this digital world where I don't even have to know the people I am writing for, and where they (whoever they are) can read it as soon as I post it.

I suppose I'll just continue on doing what I'm doing...seeing as that was the point of this blog and all, but feel free to comment and such...feedback is always a wonderful thing

In other news I'm in an interesting music phase right now and cutesy/weird music is apparently now for me...

and that my friends is what you get from sleep deprived writing...have a random day!

What is beauty?

So what is beauty? This is...and probably will always be a tough question...

I recently posted some pictures on facebook (I love me some social media) and at first I was all like....dangggg I love the way I look in these pictures! and I was pleased with them...but then I looked at them with more than just a glance and I started picking myself apart...oh my dress is slightly disheveled here...my hair is frizzy there...my nose is GIANT...ewww my cheeks look huge in that picture...and then I think...

really? really self? are we really going to do this right now?

Women...we just don't get it...we tear ourselves down...we notice things about ourselves that others wouldn't even think of...or others might find attractive...who knows? 

We compare ourselves to others...see that other girl in the picture? oh she looks much better in this picture than I do...Wow look at that girl she is so pretty, I could never pull off an outfit like that...lucky her that her clothes fit so well...her belly is flatter than mine, how does she do it?...My chest looks completely flat compared to hers...

Why? Why do we do this...honestly I do not know...I am not a psychologist, and all of the courses I took on psychology were related to human development, not the way women think of themselves so I can't really even begin to guess...

Many people would probably blame the media...don't we just love love love to blame the media. I'm sure it plays a part, probably a rather large one...but I think there are also other factors. I think we do this because we always want more. We always want to be prettier, we always want to get more attention, we always want to be desirable...and we always think we aren't...we always take things very personally...even if there isn't actually something to take personally. 

The point remains that women too often don't see their beauty...they only see their PERCEIVED flaws-what they think makes them look unattractive...

So I look at the pictures again...and I see happiness, I see the kind of smile where it shows on my whole face and in my eyes, I see wonderfully curly hair, I see my blue eyes that sometimes show hints of other colors, I see that wrinkle in my forehead; not as something bad, but as an accent to my face, I see those times when I still look like a little kid, and I see those times when I look like the woman I've become

Beauty is not a set of standards that women have to achieve. It is not something that can be clearly defined. It doesn't come in a package. There is no outfit that suddenly makes you more beautiful. It is not hidden in make up and accessories. 

There is no formula for beauty.

Beauty is something that has to do with who you are. Inner beauty radiates outward, it is true, it isn't just something people say; I see it every day. Beauty is very personal: your beauty is unique. No one else has your beauty. You are the only one as beautiful as you are. Your laugh, your smile, your eyes, hair, nose, your joy, your personality...whatever it is that makes you who you are, and as beautiful as you are...you are the only one like that...now that right there is something special. Embrace it.

Living life as a prayer

This is not something I'm fantastic at, or I know everything about, it is just something I would like to start doing....

I don't remember what I was thinking about...but I was surely thinking...maybe it was about how every lent I'm all like "I'm going to say a prayer every morning when I wake up" and then I fail...maybe it was "I wish I had more time to pray when I could pay attention rather than when I'm half asleep" ....maybe it was "hmmmm I should really pray more I don't really have an excuse now that my summer course is over"....I don't know...

but at some point it hit me...ummmm my whole life should be a prayer!

Now I know I've heard this before, and I know I've thought about doing this before, probably several times, but the more I think about it, the more it makes sense...

I mean think about it: Christ gave up his life for us: for you, and me, as individuals...His LIFE.

Sure sure, He is fully divine...of course he would do that....

but wait a minute...let it sink in...think about it...He is also FULLY HUMAN...and He didn't have to do it, He didn't have to die on a cross. He could have chosen not to; He even asked His Father if it was possible that He didn't have to go through the suffering (Luke 22:42)...but the fact remains...Christ died on a cross for us.

Whoah right? 

If Christ died on a cross for me why can I not take the time to speak with Him? Not even just speak with Him, but spend time with Him, to think of Him...often...why is that too much for me to handle?

So I pondered this...and pondered this...and pondered this...and at some point was like...ok self enough thinking...let's do this! 

So I'm trying to make a point to notice God in my life, and pray often throughout the day, and when I remember I offer my day up for something or someone...It is so much easier to give of our lives through prayer than the suffering Christ went through for us...

How beautiful is it when you can pray throughout the day, and you can thank God in the good times, ask for help from God in the hard times, seek guidance from the Lord all the time, and realize that God is never far away from you...in fact He is quite close...He is always there for you...will you spend time with Him?