Sometimes the Triumph is in the Trial

I know what you're thinking....Britt, how can a trial possibly be a triumph?

ok, I hear you, a trial is a bad thing right?

well, no, not always...it is a challenge is what it is.

For example: math was never...I mean never an easy subject for me...let's go back..wayyy back to the third grade...multiplication? never stuck with me. nope...had to memorize those times tables three summers in a row. And I still need to review them before I can properly teach them. I never took algebra, but I took AP Calculus AB...tell me that wasn't a giant tear-jerking challenge...

but you know what? every time I was able to correctly solve a problem I felt like a million bucks! No kidding. Now if math came easily to me would that triumph be so great? No, I don't think so. I think part of what made me feel so good about finally solving a problem correctly was that it took so much effort.

Or English...maybe you're like me and writing at the high school level was not an issue. Turning papers in never left me with a sense of accomplishment...there was no triumph...because there was no trial. When I got to college, however, (ohhh look at the fancy use of the word however) ...when I got to college my classes were harder, and my professors expected more of me. Writing became difficult. I had to attempt to figure out just what it was the professor wanted from me...and the papers got longer and longer as I progressed through college...and it was THEN that I struggled with writing, and THEN that turning in 20-25 page, professionally written papers made me feel like a boss! Only after the trial did I get the triumph.

Do you see what I'm saying?

Or when I'm teaching...which is new for me, to actually be teaching instead of pretending to teach my peers who are pretending to be first graders...actually teaching is difficult. Some days I just hop on that struggle bus and ride it all day until I get home from school...It is hard when you can tell that your students don't understand something...partly because you've been there, also because you care about them and their grades, and also because you are being watched like a hawk and you really need these kids to understand something. ...Well I'll tell you what...after teaching and teaching and struggling and struggling...that day when they finally understand and they can tell you the right answer...is amazing...there is just no feeling quite like it...it makes the trial...the struggle...the hard work...worth it...the greatest triumph comes through the greatest trial.

Still don't get it? ok well here's something for all you theological/philosophical types

ok so free will...why do we have it? Right? people are all like why did God even give us free will? why would He let us make the choice to hate Him? Why wouldn't He just want us to love Him forever...well its kinda like the triumph being in the trial. Our love is worth more if we choose it. The trial? well that is temptation, the desire to live the "easy life" to choose ourselves over God and others...the triumph? when we do remember that God comes first and we choose to love Him. If we didn't have to choose love would it be so meaningful? No, no it wouldn't. Mandatory love is just not meaningful.

So do you see what I'm saying?

Without the trial, the struggle, the temptation, the sleepless nights, and the great amounts of effort, the end result is not a triumph. Without having to try, the success means nothing. When it really means something is when you have to work for it. When you have to put your whole self into what you are doing. And then when it is finally over, when you have finally won, there, that is the triumph.